Your neighbor’s cock

mgenet

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I was going to wing it, but thankfully, this thread is keeping me abreast of the situation. Who wants to go for cock tails?
Man, am I late to the table for cock talk.

BTW cock tails is spelled wrong...it is spelled cock tales.
Other than that...carry on...
 
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scott1970

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One day at work a big rooster started flogging me. It struck me as improper to have a uniformed cop run away from a chicken, so I pulled my baton and offered him a chance to retreat. I reckon bird brain means what it implies, because he came at me again.

It was a million in one hit, but I nailed him right in the head with the tip of that baton from a full arc swing. I looked like a pale, much less manly version of Serena Williams.

That mean bird went beak down and began the death flop I’d seen at cockfights during my youth. I felt a little bad about it, because I didn’t intend to hit him so spectacularly.

I drove back by a little while later, and that sucker was doing fine and pecking around in the dirt. We eyed each other warily, and I slowly drove off while maintaining eye contact. I count it as a draw.
 

MikeyTheCat

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One day at work a big rooster started flogging me. It struck me as improper to have a uniformed cop run away from a chicken, so I pulled my baton and offered him a chance to retreat. I reckon bird brain means what it implies, because he came at me again.

It was a million in one hit, but I nailed him right in the head with the tip of that baton from a full arc swing. I looked like a pale, much less manly version of Serena Williams.

That mean bird went beak down and began the death flop I’d seen at cockfights during my youth. I felt a little bad about it, because I didn’t intend to hit him so spectacularly.

I drove back by a little while later, and that sucker was doing fine and pecking around in the dirt. We eyed each other warily, and I slowly drove off while maintaining eye contact. I count it as a draw.
But I bet you never took the same way home twice and started sleeping with one eye open.

Nobody wants to wake up with an angry cock staring them in the eye.
 

BlankinLoud

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One day at work a big rooster started flogging me. It struck me as improper to have a uniformed cop run away from a chicken, so I pulled my baton and offered him a chance to retreat. I reckon bird brain means what it implies, because he came at me again.

It was a million in one hit, but I nailed him right in the head with the tip of that baton from a full arc swing. I looked like a pale, much less manly version of Serena Williams.

That mean bird went beak down and began the death flop I’d seen at cockfights during my youth. I felt a little bad about it, because I didn’t intend to hit him so spectacularly.

I drove back by a little while later, and that sucker was doing fine and pecking around in the dirt. We eyed each other warily, and I slowly drove off while maintaining eye contact. I count it as a draw.

Those suckers are Velociraptor wannabees. Watching them attack a rat or a snake is educational.
 

scott1970

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I bet it was a rooster that got hold of that fella with no arms or legs pictured in that other thread. That rooster may have been the most dangerous thing I ever faced on the street...
 

BlankinLoud

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If you want to deal with something really mean and scary, one of my neighbors used to have ostriches.

When those got out you hid in the house.

Dayum, those critters are like 200 pound guinea hens :wow:.
 

MikeyTheCat

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If you want to deal with something really mean and scary, one of my neighbors used to have ostriches.

When those got out you hid in the house.
A friend of mine had a watch goose. He found it when it was gosling and raised it. It never flew away likely because of a damaged wing and was more than happy to live in his yard. The only thing was the bastard would attack anyone outside of the family. They had to move their mailbox away from their house or else the mailman wouldn't deliver their mail. I once has to fight the thing off by putting my bike between it and me until I could run into my friend's house.
 

Roxy13

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Dayum, those critters are like 200 pound guinea hens :wow:.

Yeah and one night when they got out they roosted on top of my truck and shit all over it so bad I couldn't even see out the windows. In the dark I had no idea WTF happened to it. I thought it was covered in mud and wondered if kids had throw mud balls at it or something. I hosed the windows off, drove to work and it wasn't until I got there and the sun was starting to come up that I realized these were like 8" wide bird shits all over.

It was so bad another teacher called my room and said he thought kids had vandalized my truck! I said no, I think it's bird shit! It was like that when I came outside this morning. And he was like my god, where did you park? Under a tree? And I said no, in my driveway!

It wasn't until I got home again that another neighbor told me they were on my truck.
 

Roxy13

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A friend of mine had a watch goose. He found it when it was gosling and raised it. It never flew away likely because of a damaged wing and was more than happy to live in his yard. The only thing was the bastard would attack anyone outside of the family. They had to move their mailbox away from their house or else the mailman wouldn't deliver their mail. I once has to fight the thing off by putting my bike between it and me until I could run into my friend's house.

I've had fights with geese too! They are really aggressive and territorial.

And I was attacked and bitten by a swan too. Not sure if it was the male or female but they had a family of babies (cygnets?) and apparently didn't like seeing a person standing on shore looking at them.
 

BlankinLoud

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Yeah and one night when they got out they roosted on top of my truck and shit all over it so bad I couldn't even see out the windows. In the dark I had no idea WTF happened to it. I thought it was covered in mud and wondered if kids had throw mud balls at it or something. I hosed the windows off, drove to work and it wasn't until I got there and the sun was starting to come up that I realized these were like 8" wide bird shits all over.

It was so bad another teacher called my room and said he thought kids had vandalized my truck! I said no, I think it's bird shit! It was like that when I came outside this morning. And he was like my god, where did you park? Under a tree? And I said no, in my driveway!

It wasn't until I got home again that another neighbor told me they were on my truck.

I've read story before and had a good chuckle.

I'm sorry about how it might have sucked at the time, but I also treasure the fact that I occasionally converse with a gal who's truck was once covered in dinosaur shit.
 

MikeyTheCat

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I've had fights with geese too! They are really aggressive and territorial.

And I was attacked and bitten by a swan too. Not sure if it was the male or female but they had a family of babies (cygnets?) and apparently didn't like seeing a person standing on shore looking at them.
One of my classmates was attacked by a swan. He had the bright idea that he was going to shoot it with an bow and arrow. He succeeded but ended up with a really pissed off swam that did a better job on him the second time, and a fine for shooting the bird once the story got around about his "hunting" trip.
 

Roxy13

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One of my classmates was attacked by a swan. He had the bright idea that he was going to shoot it with an bow and arrow. He succeeded but ended up with a really pissed off swam that did a better job on him the second time, and a fine for shooting the bird once the story got around about his "hunting" trip.

I thought it broke my finger! It grabbed one and wrenched it around and I was swinging my arm around with that damn thing attached to me, screaming my head off lol.

These stories are funny now but at the time they weren't.
 

Roxy13

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I've always wondered what all the other teachers who didn't say anything to me about the truck were thinking :rofl: All of us who worked in that building parked there and that was 3 floors of classrooms, and everyone else pretended they didn't notice!
 

Scooter2112

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One day at work a big rooster started flogging me. It struck me as improper to have a uniformed cop run away from a chicken, so I pulled my baton and offered him a chance to retreat. I reckon bird brain means what it implies, because he came at me again.

It was a million in one hit, but I nailed him right in the head with the tip of that baton from a full arc swing. I looked like a pale, much less manly version of Serena Williams.

That mean bird went beak down and began the death flop I’d seen at cockfights during my youth. I felt a little bad about it, because I didn’t intend to hit him so spectacularly.

I drove back by a little while later, and that sucker was doing fine and pecking around in the dirt. We eyed each other warily, and I slowly drove off while maintaining eye contact. I count it as a draw.
First time you beat your cock??

Suuuuuure...that’s what we all say :cool2:
 

Bobby Mahogany

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First time you beat your cock??

Suuuuuure...that’s what we all say :cool2:
And he was "on the beat" when he beat it with the baton!

He could have cocked his gun
But that would have been less fun
Reports to fill, no time to chill
Poor cock would have been dead
Just like the one in this thread.
 

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