You ever get tired of being the nice guy?

OHIOSTEVE

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 3, 2015
Messages
6,272
Reaction score
7,550
Everyone around here borrows everything of mine. My old pickup truck 3 days in a row 3 different people had it....... My computer is always in use by someone else. Neighbor has been doing her unemployment on it...... it won't even turn on now. But of course I will have to foot the bill to repair or replace it and they won't need a computer for anything until mine is fixed. I need it for my business and I am not sure I can afford to repair it right now. I get so pissed off but these are friends who would do ANYTHING for us. I hate it when they use it because they are clueless but thinks she knows everything . So now my computer doesn't work.
 

DADGAD

Senior Member
Joined
Aug 11, 2010
Messages
10,267
Reaction score
15,131
Had two friends borrow our carpet cleaner. first time came back caked with dog shit and second time friend tried to clean it and took it apart and lost some pieces so it stopped working. Both times had to buy a new one. I love my friends but sometimes you just have to be kind and say no. It’s like lending out tools. Some people respect them and take good care, some lose
stuff.
 

Freddy G

V.I.P. Member
Joined
Mar 18, 2007
Messages
15,442
Reaction score
39,820
I had an old friend call me up the other day asking if he could come over...needed something done on his guitar. I said sure.
So we spend a good part of the afternoon, as I worked on his ax...we chatted.
Now, this guy has a good job. When it was time to go I didn't want to say....OK you owe me $***. Like I said we're old friends.
If he had said "how much do I owe you" I would have said...."nothing, glad you came for a visit". But, he didn't say a thing as he left. I can understand doing favors for friends but this IS my business. It bothered me a little.
 
Last edited:

ErictheRed

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 8, 2009
Messages
5,924
Reaction score
7,444
Boundaries man, you have to have boundaries. I used to get tired of being the nice guy, then I starting thinking about boundaries and learned to say no and now I'm not tired of being the nice guy, because while I'm not an ass, people don't talk me into doing something that I don't want to anymore.

I had a therapist (I did group therapy after I got divorced 8 years ago for a while, it helped) who used to say "No is a complete sentence." Keep that in mind! You can just tell people no. You don't have to make up a whole long excuse, you don't have to explain yourself, you can just say no. If someone presses the issue and asks why not, then THEY are being rude for prying, not you for saying that you can't do something for them. Caveat that with immediate family you probably need to explain your actions, but even then you need healthy boundaries.

You can still be a very nice person and not a pushover. Value your time very highly and learn to say no when you don't want to do something. That was one of the best life lessons I've ever learned.
 

Freddy G

V.I.P. Member
Joined
Mar 18, 2007
Messages
15,442
Reaction score
39,820
Everyone around here borrows everything of mine. My old pickup truck 3 days in a row 3 different people had it....... My computer is always in use by someone else. Neighbor has been doing her unemployment on it...... it won't even turn on now. But of course I will have to foot the bill to repair or replace it and they won't need a computer for anything until mine is fixed. I need it for my business and I am not sure I can afford to repair it right now. I get so pissed off but these are friends who would do ANYTHING for us. I hate it when they use it because they are clueless but thinks she knows everything . So now my computer doesn't work.
Of all things....I have NEVER heard of anyone lending out their computer.
 

Howard2k

Premium Member
Joined
Nov 30, 2009
Messages
23,140
Reaction score
38,170
On the rare occasion I let someone use my computer I make them use a guest account. That way it’s really quite difficult for them to bugger anything up.

Backups help too, then you can alway roll back to before they touched it.
 

LtDave32

Desert Star Guitars
Super Mod
Premium Member
Joined
Mar 19, 2010
Messages
41,217
Reaction score
137,071


Why , yes . Yes I am darned sick and tired of being the nicest guy on the forum. I've just had it up to here with being run over and my good nature and sweet disposition being taken advantage of.

-Now I'm off for a good cry .
 

Marshall & Moonshine

Senior Member
Joined
Jul 21, 2010
Messages
25,751
Reaction score
52,494
Yup. I pretty much stay in my lane now. I used to actively help people.
Now I’m that guy in LA who skips the line at the freeway interchange and dives in at the last second.
I stopped caring about people and things that have no interest in change for the better.
 

Mike I

Premium Member
Joined
Jan 11, 2010
Messages
2,155
Reaction score
2,376
I like helping people, until they take a dump on me. We're done at that point.

I have a lady across the street, a widow. Used to help her with things around the house, and program her garage door opener when she gets her new lease car, etc.

One day out of the blue she starts reading me the riot act about global warming and what kind of idiot I must be not to understand that it's the current admins fault, and that I don't know what's really happening in the world because I must watch a certain news channel! WTF?

I had never discussed any political stuff with her, since I don't usually, so no idea for her rant, unless because I fly my flag.

At any rate, her new lease car is still parking outside her garage, because someone has not volunteered to program it for her, and said person has not asked.

Being a POS to other people, can and does have consequences.


Manners Matter!
 

KSG_Standard

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 5, 2009
Messages
28,625
Reaction score
38,984
Why , yes . Yes I am darned sick and tired of being the nicest guy on the forum. I've just had it up to here with being run over and my good nature and sweet disposition being taken advantage of.

-Now I'm off for a good cry .
Great bowlegged, light up, bobble headed, dashboard effigy, That's some bright purple!
 

Side Burns

Senior Member
Joined
Aug 28, 2013
Messages
1,883
Reaction score
3,275
Everyone around here borrows everything of mine. My old pickup truck 3 days in a row 3 different people had it....... My computer is always in use by someone else. Neighbor has been doing her unemployment on it...... it won't even turn on now. But of course I will have to foot the bill to repair or replace it and they won't need a computer for anything until mine is fixed. I need it for my business and I am not sure I can afford to repair it right now. I get so pissed off but these are friends who would do ANYTHING for us. I hate it when they use it because they are clueless but thinks she knows everything . So now my computer doesn't work.
I don’t think there is anything wrong with saying next time, “i just spent a ton of money fixing it after it broke. If you want to come by and use it over here take as long as you like.”
 

rxbandit

Senior Member
Joined
Sep 8, 2009
Messages
8,848
Reaction score
17,585
To play devils advocate - is there any proof they actually did anything to break your computer? In what way is it broken? Computers can have issues seemingly out of nowhere that don't always occur due to the user at the time.
 

ErictheRed

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 8, 2009
Messages
5,924
Reaction score
7,444
To play devils advocate - is there any proof they actually did anything to break your computer? In what way is it broken? Computers can have issues seemingly out of nowhere that don't always occur due to the user at the time.
I don't think that's the point, though. Three days of his truck being used by three separate people, etc. It's a pattern of behavior, not this one instance.
 

Rotorhead

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 10, 2018
Messages
1,018
Reaction score
2,213
I used to be the perpetual nice guy until I compared other people's usage of my shit to the money I spent replacing the things they lose or break.

That did it for me.

We have a saying in our hangar, and it's an oldie but goodie:

If you've asked to borrow something (a tool, etc) more than twice, go buy it for yourself next time.

I got tired of spending my money replacing things while listening to others describe what a great time they had last weekend or on vacation.
 


Latest Threads



Top