Where in the hell are all the dedicated guys? (SUPER LONG POST)


Senior Member
Jun 16, 2009
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Ok, this post may go on for a bit, so I'll write it and then sum it up in the last paragraph if anyone is too lazy to read, I like Sparknotes :laugh2:

So I wanted to start a band with my friend who drums. He listens to mainly post hardcore and nu-metal stuff, but I get him on track with some good music :naughty: so we start practicing and jamming and coming up with stuff. We agree because we have such a diverse influence in our music, we should kind of play to that, but its hard to do that as a duo. So we start our search and one mutual friend, we will call him Friend A, plays guitar, and he is pretty good, so we say alright, come to a jam, and we will go over songs and see how you fit in. My influences are mainly bastard blues (stuff like Jack White, Black Keys, etc.) and Grunge/stoner rock. So it has bluesy undertones with nasty fuzz and other stuff on top, but fairly heavy. So Friend A jams, and he says that we need to play Glam Metal :shock:

He says that he will only play 80s metal and stuff like that, and he doesn't like the 5 or so original songs that me and my drummer put together.

So all I say to him is :wave:

I mean, wtf he's not even part of the band, and he's saying we need to completely change? What a douche.

So our search continues, and we can't find a bassist. So Friend B, who plays guitar, asks if we need a guitar player. I said sure, and he should come to practice. He sounded pretty good, so we said alright. So right now, its me on guitar and vocals, Friend B on guitar and my drummer. We still can't find a bassist. The only bassists we can find want to play Metallica and stuff like that, and only songs they already know, which totally sucks. We start writing more stuff and it gets to the time to get gigs. So we were gonna go as a three piece, with two guitars and no bass. Friend A (remember him?) says he picked up bass and he really wants to play with us. I am strongly against it because of the shit he pulled last time, but the other guitarist and drummer want him in, so I grudgingly agree, but I tell him we aren't playing glam metal or whatever.

So the first thing that should have tipped me off is that he shows up to practice with a bass and no amp. Should have kicked him to the curb then and there. But he borrows a shitty guitar amp and plugs the bass into that. We are going over songs, then he demands that we write all the songs down, sheet music style with all the changes, chord diagrams, bass notes, each individual part, so he knows. He played jazz guitar for a while, and he says that we aren't professional since we don't have sheet music.

Sorry, but this isn't a jazz concert. There's going to be improvisions and stuff like that. So we write down the music for him. We play a show two weeks later.

After the show we schedule a practice for that Sunday, the show was on Friday. The bassist says he has prior plans and he can't make it. Alright, no big deal. About a month or so, we realize the bassist hasn't shown up to any practices since the gig and he keeps saying he has plans. He doesn't offer up another time he can practice, he just says he has plans. So I call him out. He gets all pissy and says that he doesn't need to practice because he knows the songs :laugh2:

Hey Friend A, :wave: part 2

So again, we are without a bassist :hmm:

Two weeks ago

Friend C gets back from college, he used to play bass, but hasn't since he went to college. We have a battle of the bands that weekend, and we ask if he wants to try and learn the songs and maybe play with us. He does that and it goes well. We have a big show coming up with a 40 minute set this weekend so we are working on songs for that.

Lesson learned: Friend A is a dick :rofl:

But seriously, its hard to find people committed especially at the younger age range. I'm 19, but I play with 17 year olds. My drummer was grounded for a month earlier on, but shit happens.

Admittedly, I'm a very focused and driven person (read "I'm a dick and will get stuff done") and it sounds like you are too. You just have to find people you work with, and compromises will have to be made. Every time we practice, I tell my friends and bandmates, that whatever happens here doesn't affect our friendship. Because if someone sounds like ass, or is playing the wrong notes, when I tell them they are ****ing up, I'm not being a dick, but if I dance around the subject, it will take 15 minutes to accomplish something than if you just straight up tell them.

If you are serious about the music, it isn't just playing with friends anymore, its like a business, and personal feelings should be left out IMO

Good luck though :slash:

Tim Fezziwig

Senior Member
Jan 20, 2010
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I'm dedicated, but i suck-- take your pick

NOBODY sucks. I have OPEN invites to anyone. I don't care if the guys I play with have NOTHING! Just show up. I quit for 18 years. I found a bassist green as the lawn:laugh2 He improved rapidly. My drummer was really good. We carried the band while the bassist learned.

Start a band Dylan. You will create. I booked my first show in 92. I could play rhythm guitar fairly well. I had a month to learn how to play lead AND sing:shock I patched it together. I played three originals and NIB,Communication,Monkey Man. I was close enough for R+R. My Sh@t playing and singing even got me laid:dude: All you need is balls and three chords!


Senior Member
Jul 24, 2010
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Fred, thanks for the inspirational post :thumb:

And Dylan, Tim has it right, it's rock and roll, it *needs* grittiness and mistakes, and the BEST way to improve is playing live/with a band!:dude:


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Jul 30, 2008
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i used to be one of those dudes goofing off. back in highschool i was in a 3 piece.both of them were my best buddies and the drummer was/is f*^king amazing.started drumming when he was around 5 or 6 yrs. our bassist was good; he was a tall guy;had big hands, so he ruled the bass, and i was on guitar.We would go to drummer's house to jam because his parents were used to all the racket anyways. instead of focusing on playing music and practicing, we would all just hang out and goof off. even for a freshman in HS, our drummer was a great musician, he could play guitar, piano,bass, drums,sing. he was in good with the teacher organizing the talent show, and the teacher knew of his skills and promised to give up the headline spot to us.
so the weeks roll by and i think we literally have 2 or 3 legit practices wrapped up, thats it. then it got to the point where we had to stay after school and dedicate some personal time to practicing.i think i had just gotten a new girlfriend, so i think its a good idea to have a band meeting and declare that we am not ready for the headline act of the talent show. our drummer insists that we can still pull it off if we hit the strings hard. I said id rather burn out than fade away and i leave the act. the bassist decides football is more fun and hangs up aswell.so our drummer called up his back up guys and they still got the main slot and they ROCK the talent show. got the $50 prize and huge recognition from the student body.
after the show me and the drummer are still best buds, so he calls me dumb for dropping out. turns out every night he jams with his neighbor, invites me to start coming over. every time we hang out he asks me if i ever want to jam, i always decline. he starts telling about these gigs that they have booked at bars, etc the crowds are great man its a great time come jam!
fast forward to a year or two ago, my drummer buddy tells me hes moving out to california. turns out he plays music for a living now.
im sitting at home in wisconsin pissed off because i have a shitty factory job i need to go to every day to pay my bills. and i get to sit in my room playing my amp on minimum volume to guitar parts ive played a million times before.

now, tell that story to your friends not serious about music. either you can have fun doing this for a good chunk of your life or you can work for the MAN and regret ever second of it.

luckily for me my drummer buddy told me that he will be moving back at the end of the summer and you better believe i will be in every jam i get invited to.

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