What would you do

danohat

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Moving is terrible. Every process involves teams of dummies that can't do their job. It will shock you how stressful it can be. Gotta really really want to do it.
 

Seven

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I don't know much about Colorado, but I grew up in Oklahoma and Tulsa is a ShitHole.


Most Dangerous Cities in Oklahoma
  1. Tulsa
  2. Shawnee
  3. Del City
  4. Muskogee
  5. Oklahoma City
  6. Ponca City
  7. Lawton
  8. Ardmore
  9. Bartlesville
  10. Midwest City

Safest Cities in Oklahoma
  1. Mustang
  2. Jenks
  3. Bixby
  4. Edmond
  5. Yukon
  6. Broken Arrow
  7. Moore
  8. Owasso
  9. Stillwater
  10. Sapulpa
 

Dolebludger

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Seven, that is very interesting info. I certainly don’t want a high crime place. Here in the Durango CO area our crime rate is very low. I happen to know that our DA does not lock his doors at night or day. he started doing so only when some
raccoons figured out how to open the door and feast in his pantry! Compared to when we lived in OK, we now feel comfortable leaving yard tops outside and not locking them up. That was a bug factor if why we moved here. Thank you for reinforcing my decision to stay here!
 

Dolebludger

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First of all -- I'm sorry. I feel like I probably deserve the blame for starting you down the path at looking at OK listings. Refresh my memory; did your wife live with you in OK before moving to CO? If so, how long has it been? Do you have good friends/family there that you could visit once the pandemic is over to see what you both think of present day Tulsa? Or is this a chance-in-a-million unique historic home you have the itch to make yours before it's somebody else's?

How much of homebodies are you guys? If you spend 95% of your hours at home, then the home itself and how much joy it gives is paramount. That includes the local climate and whatever you're staring at when you're out on the porch. How does a charming, tree-lined historic neighborhood weigh against the mountain view. Having lived for a while in a mountain town, I know just having those mountain peaks in the skyline has an impact on how you feel and you miss it when it's not there. If you go on lots of outings, what kind are they and how fulfilling would each city be?

Your spouse seems pretty flippant about suggesting you buy it and keep both -- I know you don't want to be two-house people, but if she's happy with the idea, maybe that's a natural/fortunate starting point to allow you both to come to realize you prefer one over the other.
Hey, man, I hope you found a suitable home in Nornan OK. No, my interest in your search was not the reason why I discovered my “dream hone and location in historic Tulsa”. Rather I was on the web site for our local newspaper and clicked on an ad for Caldwell Banker real estate. There was a “luxury”link, and I went on it. Along with hones in Europe and the UK, there was a listing for (I think) 1245 Hazel Ave. Tulsa Ok. That‘s right in the middle of the housing area I have liked in Tulsa for 50 years. It made me think about an old goal I never QUITE reached. The house was priced at $699,000.
Our smaller home in CO is valued by similar sales within a rock-throw away in the last 6 months at $950,000. Now realtors always talk about “location -location-location”. It seems that I have a really superior location. Though it did not cost that much fir the lot and the house build. Now, my wife has never been “flippant” about anything.. But she made it clear that the Tulsa house would be a second home., and I don’t want one. I’m a guy who thinks his wife has some rights too, so I will not go against one who has fought beside me to get us where we are. And the Tulsa house will never have our Mountain views. Would never have our 1/2 acre yard with the east half being a Ponderosa Pine Forrest. It will never have my beloved four car garage we have now. Thus, I don’t blame my wife for helping to bring me to me senses. It was an idea similar to mine as a young boy that I wanted to be a steam locomotive engineer when I grew up. Never got to apply for the job. In 2013, I got to ride in the cab of our steam loco that runs from Durango to Silverton CO. It was the most miserable 4 hours of my life. Maybe I should take care in what I ask for. I might just get it!
 

Bobby Mahogany

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Considering all responses, we’ll stay in one house in CO. Just for information, my wife and I used to live in central OK for most of our individual lives. We moved to CO about 10 years ago. We are very familiar with Tulsa and know there isn’t much to recommend, except it has the nicest area of 100 year old homes that I have seen — and we’ve visited many places in the US and the world. It was in that historical area that I found that home. But for that area in Tulsa I wouldn’t consider it. Thanks for all the advice. And here’s the kicker. I am 77 and have no business owning a 100 year old house,— no matter how updated it is.and other than that specific part of Tulsa, CO is a much better place.
It's nice to dream and explore possibilities but just because you can doesn't mean you should.
And although we often bang our drums to "Freedom" and shit, some relationships are just too
important to drift from.
Your wife has stuck to you through "thin", it's normal to give her a little more weigh in the decision.
And again, although we want to feel young and challenge worthy while getting older,
we don't need the aggravation of managing a far away property.
Enjoy your sweet time with your wife.
Make a yearly trip to some exciting or different places with your wife with the money you have.
:thumb:
 

kakerlak

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Hey, man, I hope you found a suitable home in Nornan OK. No, my interest in your search was not the reason why I discovered my “dream hone and location in historic Tulsa”. Rather I was on the web site for our local newspaper and clicked on an ad for Caldwell Banker real estate. There was a “luxury”link, and I went on it. Along with hones in Europe and the UK, there was a listing for (I think) 1245 Hazel Ave. Tulsa Ok. That‘s right in the middle of the housing area I have liked in Tulsa for 50 years. It made me think about an old goal I never QUITE reached. The house was priced at $699,000.
Our smaller home in CO is valued by similar sales within a rock-throw away in the last 6 months at $950,000. Now realtors always talk about “location -location-location”. It seems that I have a really superior location. Though it did not cost that much fir the lot and the house build. Now, my wife has never been “flippant” about anything.. But she made it clear that the Tulsa house would be a second home., and I don’t want one. I’m a guy who thinks his wife has some rights too, so I will not go against one who has fought beside me to get us where we are. And the Tulsa house will never have our Mountain views. Would never have our 1/2 acre yard with the east half being a Ponderosa Pine Forrest. It will never have my beloved four car garage we have now. Thus, I don’t blame my wife for helping to bring me to me senses. It was an idea similar to mine as a young boy that I wanted to be a steam locomotive engineer when I grew up. Never got to apply for the job. In 2013, I got to ride in the cab of our steam loco that runs from Durango to Silverton CO. It was the most miserable 4 hours of my life. Maybe I should take care in what I ask for. I might just get it!
We're keeping an eye on the market, but don't have all the money together, yet. Fully confident we can land something we really enjoy when we do. Buy the new house outright, buy a $2-3k pickup truck, move at our leisure, taking time to arrange things the way we want, knock out painting/etc before furniture is in the way... Yard sale the stuff we decide not to take with from the old house, then spruce it up a bit and dump the eventual sale proceeds into savings, sell off the beater pickup, and live out the rest of our lives without a mortgage in a house that's not too small, falling apart, and full of mold, lol. We're just hitting our forties now.

I can't express how much I look forward to having a garage, ceiling fans, gutters, windows that open, and be forever done with carpet, among many other things. And we'll be going from 1150SF to hopefully more like 2k, give or take. Guessing at being in place to start actually shopping around March/April.

Got our eye on a couple neighborhoods from the fifties/sixties with nice properly varied homes and trees -- the treelessness, flatness, and sea of architectural sameness of the newer neighborhoods gives me a subtle uneasiness I'm not willing to settle for. I'm fine living in a neighborhood of non-repeating, but similar ranches that have different color bricks, trim, shingles, landscaping. It's where there's three house designs that are all the same brick, same trim, same 10' tree in the same place in every yard. Just feels unsettling.

But yeah, by all means your spouse should be an equal partner and, if you don't see them as deserving to be, then you made a mistake choosing them or you have some domineering personality traits to fix. Glad you're listening to yours!
 

Dolebludger

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Guys, I can’t think of anything worse than a condo in Tulsa or anywhere else. I think some missed the fact that Tulsa has an area of great historic homes, but offers little else IMO. If I am not going to live in that area, I am not going to live in Tulsa.
 

Dolebludger

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Z2112,

I have heard of this court case. I don’t fully understand it, but it sounds like a big mess!
 

TheX

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No way in hell I could ever live in a condo.
 

Minte

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Then he can be unhappy in both places...
He's a "House" man. Pool, guest house, the works.
I get that. I am a house guy as well. But if you can't do the hassle of maintaining multiple properties then a condo is the answer. That being said, I am not talking about a 800 sq ft place. We looked at a couple of condo's in the Vegas area that were over 5000 sq ft and had everything.
 

Z2112

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@Dolebludger
I don't think anyone understands it yet. 30 year court case. Seems like there will be 2 sets of law enforcement., Property ownership and taxes. Over a dozen tribes involved in the claim. They will have to fight it out.
Stay in Beautiful Colorado and be Happy !
 

Harmony

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Stay in Colorado. You’ve always made it clear you hated Oklahoma in the past .
 

Dolebludger

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Hi, Harmony.

Actually, I don't like all parts of Clorado either. Only the parts with mountains! Now,, if I am correct, you live in Tulsa. If so, you are familiar with the area bounded on the west by Riverside drive, on the east by Lewis Ave., on the north by 15th St. and on the south by 41st St. Within this area, about 60% is the nicest residential area that I have ever seen -- not only in the US, but in the world. That is where the houe I posted about is located. You know, Sunset Terrace, Maple Ridge, Utica Square, and those areas. Now when I returned from the USAF in late 1971 I wanted to buy a home in that area of Tulsa, but my savings and salary then wouldn't make it. Now, I see a home for sale on one of the nicest streets in Sunset Terrace at a price for which I ouuld now write a check, and after selling our current home in Durango put $200K in our pockets. Sort of makes me reconsider Oklahoma, doesn't it? But there is the political cimate in Oklahoma which we dislike, and I can say no more about due to forum rules (which are good). And the house in Tulsa had only a two car garage, and we need a four car. But perhaps I could build on? In any event, perhaps I should just forget my dreams as a young man and be happy with what I have.
 

Tone deaf

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Get a small, less expensive and more manageable place (maybe condo) in the Tulsa neighborhood you want. Spend time there with her. See if she comes around over time. Then swap into the dream home in Tulsa.
 

dro

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Used to want to move to Ok. Wife wasn't interested. Now live outside Kansas City. Not on the land I could of had In Ok. But beats the hell out of Ca.
 


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