What was your worst gig experience?

[Tim Fezziwig]

The year was mid 88 and Fauntleroy ,my POETRY partner, and I where driving down to Philly for BIG POETRY SLAM. We got to The Painted Bride early and started chugging wine. We got VERY drunk before the " opening bell."


We staggered in and climbed the bleachers. Fauntleroy was nodding out and drooling.....


NEXT UP FAUNTLEROY.....

FAUNTLEROY crawled up to the stage and did a " garbled" reading. It was SHIT!

He weedled...down from the stage..

" Tim,let's get DDDDRRRUUUNNKKKK...

We went to the bar,I " distracted" the bartender while FAUNTLEROY lifted a bottle of grape from the stock....we were BROKE POETS....the best kind..

We went into a side room and started " guzzling."

We were polluted....then...NEXT UP....TERRIBLE TIM T....

I barely made it to the stage....then

LUCIDITY......I threw my POEMS to the ground and recited from memory....it was an A+++ reading.I could " taste" THE POETRY BELT...

So,we started" celebrating." Glug glug. We then rolled up back the stairs.....then? BEN K ,the Golden boy started droning,he was the master of the DIDACTIC......pure monotony.....FAUNTLEROY started yelling.....you STINK.....more YELLING.....


Lamont,the planner,climbed the stairs..

" You two? Listen you both have talent,Tim.....GREAT READING...but...you are an ass...

I got REAL hot and grabbed his collar....then we wobbled down the stairs.....FAUNTLEROY...yelling BEN K IS THE DEVIL...



We some how made it back to the bar,FAUNTLEROY stole ANOTHER bottle of wine right in front of the judges.....F YOU....then Lamont's six year old daughter appeared and FAUNTLEROY grabbed her ROUGHLY.....MAYHEM ENSUED

Lamont..."YOU GUYS ARE DONE....AS OF TODAY...YOU ARE OUT OF PHILLY POETRY SOCIETY!

We laughed and hit the streets...guzzling more wine...I got behind the wheel and floated down I 95...then FAUNTLEROY grabbed the wheel almost jettisoning us into the DELAWARE! I drove back to Bucks County with my forearm on his throat..........

We sobered up somewhat and I pulled into his driveway...

" TIMBO....GREAT TIME.....

He sloshed up to the door and dissapeared....

I drove home laughing....SCREW POETRY SOCIETY....time to start getting SERIOUS about my guitar playing....I was in my mid 20's...time to become a ROCK STAR!

 

[fry]

Back about 1993 or so, during about a 2 year stretch where I was actually in a band. We did some gigs here and there around my hometown. We weren’t particularly good, but we were entertaining, and the crowd always had a good time. One time, our bass player told us he knew a guy that had a band that was looking for an opportunity to play their first gig. We had a gig booked the following Saturday at a bar we frequently played. He told us that this guy asked if his band could play the first hour of our gig, just for some exposure, we only had to play three hours, and we got to keep all the money. I remember enthusiastically saying “hell yes!” Saturday night came, and we were at the bar when these guys arrived. I could tell immediately that they were not a bunch of amateurs. They had a very expensive sophisticated gear they were hauling in, and my heart started to sink. I was right, they were really, really good. Much better than us, and we are sitting there knowing we now have to follow them. On top of everything else, the cover charge at the door is how we were going to get paid, and the bar was packed with friends of the other band. It ended up being one of our biggest paydays ever as a result, but just about everybody left when the other band finished. We took the stage and played three hours to a nearly empty bar. Guess which band was booked the following Saturday?

 

[74JMP]

Back about 1993 or so, during about a 2 year stretch where I was actually in a band. We did some gigs here and there around my hometown. We weren’t particularly good, but we were entertaining, and the crowd always had a good time. One time, our bass player told us he knew a guy that had a band that was looking for an opportunity to play their first gig. We had a gig booked the following Saturday at a bar we frequently played. He told us that this guy asked if his band could play the first hour of our gig, just for some exposure, we only had to play three hours, and we got to keep all the money. I remember enthusiastically saying “hell yes!” Saturday night came, and we were at the bar when these guys arrived. I could tell immediately that they were not a bunch of amateurs. They had a very expensive sophisticated gear they were hauling in, and my heart started to sink. I was right, they were really, really good. Much better than us, and we are sitting there knowing we now have to follow them. On top of everything else, the cover charge at the door is how we were going to get paid, and the bar was packed with friends of the other band. It ended up being one of our biggest paydays ever as a result, but just about everybody left when the other band finished. We took the stage and played three hours to a nearly empty bar. Guess which band was booked the following Saturday?

A friend of ours asked us to fill in at his acoustic gig. so we came in bass and 2 guitars with congas. They loved used and want us to book his band, his act was awful and had worn out iot welcome with his bad originals. We told them no as he was a friend and did not want to be a sneak. 2 years latter his "manager " books him with me as a duo, I get a call say gig got canceled from Shawn. a month latter I see the manager and he asks about the gig, I said it was canceled,,.....it was not and to get a bigger pay day he cut me loose. Rule never reject a gig, it is not yours to take only theirs to loose,