Top 10 Guitarists Who Should Just Tour as Holograms...

Skintaster

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Pretty funny article from guitarsquid. I don't necessarily agree with all of this, but it's still fun. :laugh2:

Top 10 Guitarists Who Should Probably Just Tour as Holograms | Guitar Squid

By now, if you haven’t heard the big hullabaloo surrounding a famous rapper reincarnated in hologram form last Sunday at Coachella, you’ve probably been living under a big-ass coral reef or something. Seriously, it’s been huge. Dr. Dre, who initially had the idea to raise Tupac from the dead, has stated that it would be cool to see a Jimi Hendrix hologram sometime soon. Damn fine idea the Dr. had.

This got the Squid’s brain churning. As cool as it would be to get a chance to see long gone musicians like Hendrix, Buddy Holly, or hell, even Robert Johnson revived as a hologram on stages across the world, there’s a different and much more useful way to use this new hologram technology in the realm of guitardom.

Check this out: great guitarists don’t even have to tour anymore, they can just send a hologram out to pull off their nightly duties. Even better, players who aren’t breaking any new ground or who’ve become caricatures of themselves can finally stop tarnishing their legacy.

The Squid compiled a list of 10 guitarists who should just tour as holograms from now on. They’d probably rake in more bucks that way anyway. Sound off with your thoughts on the matter in the Comments section below!



John Mayer

John Mayer is a pretty good guitarist in his own right, albeit a complete rip-off of all blues and rock guitarists who came before him. Let’s face it, most of the original appeal of Mr. “Your Body is a Wonderland” came in the form of his boyish good looks. Before he gets too old, Mayer should just let a hologram take over so girls can enjoy circa 2003-2005 John Mayer. Plus, this way, broken vocal cords won’t force him to cancel tours anymore, and he can stop stomping all over African American gals’ hearts.



Joe Perry

Yeah, so holograms could probably replace all of Aerosmith and this Squid wouldn’t mind at all. The band, including Mr. Perry, haven’t really made any decent music in the last, oh, 20 years or so, and the only reason people go to see Aerosmith anymore is to hear all their old classics and that shitty song from Armageddon. So, maybe that asteroid should hit and destroy the band’s equipment during rehearsals for their upcoming summer tour, because holograms playing along to backing tracks would probably suffice here.



Zakk Wylde

Really, there’s a lifetime limit for bent pinch harmonics, and Zakk moved past that mark many moons ago. We’d love to see a hologram of the young, fiery, and oh so cute 18-year-old Zakky Wylde that Sharon Osbourne ruined so many years ago. Oh, and at least the hologram would still chug beers onstage, and probably not smell so bad.



Ted Nugent

We really can’t recall the last time the Nuge’s music spoke louder than his big mouth. Actually, has he put out anything remotely worth listening to in the past 20 years, or does he just milk his legacy for all it’s worth? Seems like it might be a good time for Teddy to just spend all his time “Wango Tango”-ing with crossbows and bear traps.



Slash

As much as Slash has been whoring himself out in recent years, making some awful appearances and milking his Guns N’ Roses and Velvet Revolver days for lots of dough, the Top-Hatted One could definitely benefit from having an army of holograms playing “The Star Spangled Banner” and the “Sweet Child o’ Mine” lick at sporting events every day around the country.



Carlos Santana

After Supernatural, his ridiculous 1999 collaboration with some of rock’s most milquetoast vocalists of all time, the once-pioneering Santana seems to be phoning his performances in these days, letting that ground-breaking spirit drift to the wayside, only to be replaced by dollar bills and an increasingly weird (and substance-abuse-fueled) sense of spirituality. Maybe it’s time he let a hologram step in for him?



Yngwie Malmsteen

Think about it, Yng: More donut time—what’s not to love about that?



Kirk Hammett and James Hetfield

When you’ve managed to piss-off half your fan base twice over, you’re probably doing something wrong. Kirk and James were once pioneers in the thrash- and speed-metal realms, now they’re both just giant wusses. Actually, let’s include Lars in this one, too. They can leave the real Robert Trujillo onstage to do that monkey thing he does, but the rest of ‘em are better off in the studio—or better yet, surfing and collecting cool cars and horror-movie toys.



Eric Clapton

Let’s face it: Clapton has been a major snooze-fest for at least the past decade. Maybe it’s about time old Slowhand traded his flesh and bones over for a hologram of his more vibrant (and more drugged-out) self from the old days. Plus, if you could get a hologram of Friedrich Nietzsche up onstage with Holo-Clapton, you could have a nice running bit of philosophical humor: “God is dead … but here’s his replacement!”



Guy Mann-Dude

Yeah, yeah … this guy’s already dead (or at least his career is). But, a hologram Guy Mann-Dude would bring this shredder’s … er “genius” back to the stage and let post-’80s kids witness his majesty—which was obviously so manly and dudular that it required changing his name. Plus, you could get Holo-Paul Stanley and Holo-Tommy Lee—both of which would be excellent replacements for their live counterparts—and reform the supergroup The Dudes of Wrath. That would be awesome.
 

Lyrica

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Here's a question. Who owns the rights to a holographic image that is "performing"?
 

SteveGangi

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That's funny, and just as funny, is how the various groups of fanboys were all getting mad at it :laugh2:
 

GuitarToneFreak

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Here's a question. Who owns the rights to a holographic image that is "performing"?

I'm not sure, but I'd guess it'd fall under likeness of the artist. So in the instance of Tupac, I believe his Mom owns his image, so likely she owns rights to a hologram since it's his likeness.
 

Drew224

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I laughed, but I seriously think that's bullshit.
 

Username1

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Sweet! :thumb: Did people lose their shit when he came out? Also, did it look cool in person?

everybody lost it, hilarious watching a bunch of over privileged white kids wave middle finger in the air and and memorize every lyric of dre/ snoop/ and tupacs tunes-- and of course i was one of them, The Chronic is one of my favorite albums haha.

anyway i digress. It looked cool, but not that cool-- it was a fun stage gimic but i wouldn't pay to see a show revolving around holograms, he looked like a cartoon, with someone doing a voice over to say 'what up coachella' then basically the semi realistic cartoon lip synced to Hail Mary-- i was wondering if it was like a reresurrected video of a concert he did but after i saw it in person, i don't think so...

Dre and Snoop was a damn good show-- they had a live band that was really tight, i had a good time
 

GuitarToneFreak

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everybody lost it, hilarious watching a bunch of over privileged white kids wave middle finger in the air and and memorize every lyric of dre/ snoop/ and tupacs tunes-- and of course i was one of them, The Chronic is one of my favorite albums haha.

anyway i digress. It looked cool, but not that cool-- it was a fun stage gimic but i wouldn't pay to see a show revolving around holograms, he looked like a cartoon, with someone doing a voice over to say 'what up coachella' then basically the semi realistic cartoon lip synced to Hail Mary-- i was wondering if it was like a reresurrected video of a concert he did but after i saw it in person, i don't think so...

Dre and Snoop was a damn good show-- they had a live band that was really tight, i had a good time

I was able to watch the livestream, and they do indeed put on a great show. It amazes me, Snoop raps better high then I could ever hope to sober :thumb:

I liked that they had Wiz there, I like that kid.
 

Skintaster

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everybody lost it, hilarious watching a bunch of over privileged white kids wave middle finger in the air and and memorize every lyric of dre/ snoop/ and tupacs tunes-- and of course i was one of them, The Chronic is one of my favorite albums haha.

anyway i digress. It looked cool, but not that cool-- it was a fun stage gimic but i wouldn't pay to see a show revolving around holograms, he looked like a cartoon, with someone doing a voice over to say 'what up coachella' then basically the semi realistic cartoon lip synced to Hail Mary-- i was wondering if it was like a reresurrected video of a concert he did but after i saw it in person, i don't think so...

Dre and Snoop was a damn good show-- they had a live band that was really tight, i had a good time

I know it was cartoony looking, but did it look like something was really on stage, or did it just look unconvincing. The videos I've seen make it look alright.. Not "real" exactly, but not as unconvincing as I would expect.
 

Username1

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I was able to watch the livestream, and they do indeed put on a great show. It amazes me, Snoop raps better high then I could ever hope to sober :thumb:

I liked that they had Wiz there, I like that kid.

Oh my god if i got stoned on stage in front of 90,000 people i would either start crying or eating twinkles but not functioning thats for sure

Radiohead was great the night before too and i have a love/hate relationship toward them
 

Username1

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I know it was cartoony looking, but did it look like something was really on stage, or did it just look unconvincing. The videos I've seen make it look alright.. Not "real" exactly, but not as unconvincing as I would expect.

it looked just alright, exactly how you put it
 

Username1

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BTW GuitarToneFreak, i watched the live stream last year because i couldn't make it my friend and i are huge fans of the strokes, we ran my computer through my stereo and blasted it-- it was great i love that they stream concerts now
 

JonMan94

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Metallica, really? listen to Damage Inc and Whiplash five times, that's their withstanding argument.
 

Thumpalumpacus

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The sore rectums in the comments are funny.

You people are starting to get very negative.
Can you do what these guys have done???
Getting older is a fact if life.
So is that young people think they know it all.
You are starting to disrespect the art of
playing guitar.
Isn’t playing the guitar, what your website is all about.
you should take the cotton out of your ears, and put it
on your computer keyboard.
Have some respect, for the pioneers before you.

:laugh2:
 

Username1

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There's not a lot of bands i would suggest a hologram gimmick for

The Beatles i would say no, because i simply don't think it would be fitting, and i think a Beatle reunion is something that shouldn't happen, even posthumously

However i think it would be cool, since Queen is still active, to have a brief hologram appearance from Freddie, not the whole concert but maybe a few songs, one of their famous medleys or 'pastiches' haha
 

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