Skintaster
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Pretty funny article from guitarsquid. I don't necessarily agree with all of this, but it's still fun. 
Top 10 Guitarists Who Should Probably Just Tour as Holograms | Guitar Squid
By now, if you havent heard the big hullabaloo surrounding a famous rapper reincarnated in hologram form last Sunday at Coachella, youve probably been living under a big-ass coral reef or something. Seriously, its been huge. Dr. Dre, who initially had the idea to raise Tupac from the dead, has stated that it would be cool to see a Jimi Hendrix hologram sometime soon. Damn fine idea the Dr. had.
This got the Squids brain churning. As cool as it would be to get a chance to see long gone musicians like Hendrix, Buddy Holly, or hell, even Robert Johnson revived as a hologram on stages across the world, theres a different and much more useful way to use this new hologram technology in the realm of guitardom.
Check this out: great guitarists dont even have to tour anymore, they can just send a hologram out to pull off their nightly duties. Even better, players who arent breaking any new ground or whove become caricatures of themselves can finally stop tarnishing their legacy.
The Squid compiled a list of 10 guitarists who should just tour as holograms from now on. Theyd probably rake in more bucks that way anyway. Sound off with your thoughts on the matter in the Comments section below!
John Mayer
John Mayer is a pretty good guitarist in his own right, albeit a complete rip-off of all blues and rock guitarists who came before him. Lets face it, most of the original appeal of Mr. Your Body is a Wonderland came in the form of his boyish good looks. Before he gets too old, Mayer should just let a hologram take over so girls can enjoy circa 2003-2005 John Mayer. Plus, this way, broken vocal cords wont force him to cancel tours anymore, and he can stop stomping all over African American gals hearts.
Joe Perry
Yeah, so holograms could probably replace all of Aerosmith and this Squid wouldnt mind at all. The band, including Mr. Perry, havent really made any decent music in the last, oh, 20 years or so, and the only reason people go to see Aerosmith anymore is to hear all their old classics and that shitty song from Armageddon. So, maybe that asteroid should hit and destroy the bands equipment during rehearsals for their upcoming summer tour, because holograms playing along to backing tracks would probably suffice here.
Zakk Wylde
Really, theres a lifetime limit for bent pinch harmonics, and Zakk moved past that mark many moons ago. Wed love to see a hologram of the young, fiery, and oh so cute 18-year-old Zakky Wylde that Sharon Osbourne ruined so many years ago. Oh, and at least the hologram would still chug beers onstage, and probably not smell so bad.
Ted Nugent
We really cant recall the last time the Nuges music spoke louder than his big mouth. Actually, has he put out anything remotely worth listening to in the past 20 years, or does he just milk his legacy for all its worth? Seems like it might be a good time for Teddy to just spend all his time Wango Tango-ing with crossbows and bear traps.
Slash
As much as Slash has been whoring himself out in recent years, making some awful appearances and milking his Guns N Roses and Velvet Revolver days for lots of dough, the Top-Hatted One could definitely benefit from having an army of holograms playing The Star Spangled Banner and the Sweet Child o Mine lick at sporting events every day around the country.
Carlos Santana
After Supernatural, his ridiculous 1999 collaboration with some of rocks most milquetoast vocalists of all time, the once-pioneering Santana seems to be phoning his performances in these days, letting that ground-breaking spirit drift to the wayside, only to be replaced by dollar bills and an increasingly weird (and substance-abuse-fueled) sense of spirituality. Maybe its time he let a hologram step in for him?
Yngwie Malmsteen
Think about it, Yng: More donut timewhats not to love about that?
Kirk Hammett and James Hetfield
When youve managed to piss-off half your fan base twice over, youre probably doing something wrong. Kirk and James were once pioneers in the thrash- and speed-metal realms, now theyre both just giant wusses. Actually, lets include Lars in this one, too. They can leave the real Robert Trujillo onstage to do that monkey thing he does, but the rest of em are better off in the studioor better yet, surfing and collecting cool cars and horror-movie toys.
Eric Clapton
Lets face it: Clapton has been a major snooze-fest for at least the past decade. Maybe its about time old Slowhand traded his flesh and bones over for a hologram of his more vibrant (and more drugged-out) self from the old days. Plus, if you could get a hologram of Friedrich Nietzsche up onstage with Holo-Clapton, you could have a nice running bit of philosophical humor: God is dead but heres his replacement!
Guy Mann-Dude
Yeah, yeah this guys already dead (or at least his career is). But, a hologram Guy Mann-Dude would bring this shredders er genius back to the stage and let post-80s kids witness his majestywhich was obviously so manly and dudular that it required changing his name. Plus, you could get Holo-Paul Stanley and Holo-Tommy Leeboth of which would be excellent replacements for their live counterpartsand reform the supergroup The Dudes of Wrath. That would be awesome.
Top 10 Guitarists Who Should Probably Just Tour as Holograms | Guitar Squid
By now, if you havent heard the big hullabaloo surrounding a famous rapper reincarnated in hologram form last Sunday at Coachella, youve probably been living under a big-ass coral reef or something. Seriously, its been huge. Dr. Dre, who initially had the idea to raise Tupac from the dead, has stated that it would be cool to see a Jimi Hendrix hologram sometime soon. Damn fine idea the Dr. had.
This got the Squids brain churning. As cool as it would be to get a chance to see long gone musicians like Hendrix, Buddy Holly, or hell, even Robert Johnson revived as a hologram on stages across the world, theres a different and much more useful way to use this new hologram technology in the realm of guitardom.
Check this out: great guitarists dont even have to tour anymore, they can just send a hologram out to pull off their nightly duties. Even better, players who arent breaking any new ground or whove become caricatures of themselves can finally stop tarnishing their legacy.
The Squid compiled a list of 10 guitarists who should just tour as holograms from now on. Theyd probably rake in more bucks that way anyway. Sound off with your thoughts on the matter in the Comments section below!
John Mayer
John Mayer is a pretty good guitarist in his own right, albeit a complete rip-off of all blues and rock guitarists who came before him. Lets face it, most of the original appeal of Mr. Your Body is a Wonderland came in the form of his boyish good looks. Before he gets too old, Mayer should just let a hologram take over so girls can enjoy circa 2003-2005 John Mayer. Plus, this way, broken vocal cords wont force him to cancel tours anymore, and he can stop stomping all over African American gals hearts.
Joe Perry
Yeah, so holograms could probably replace all of Aerosmith and this Squid wouldnt mind at all. The band, including Mr. Perry, havent really made any decent music in the last, oh, 20 years or so, and the only reason people go to see Aerosmith anymore is to hear all their old classics and that shitty song from Armageddon. So, maybe that asteroid should hit and destroy the bands equipment during rehearsals for their upcoming summer tour, because holograms playing along to backing tracks would probably suffice here.
Zakk Wylde
Really, theres a lifetime limit for bent pinch harmonics, and Zakk moved past that mark many moons ago. Wed love to see a hologram of the young, fiery, and oh so cute 18-year-old Zakky Wylde that Sharon Osbourne ruined so many years ago. Oh, and at least the hologram would still chug beers onstage, and probably not smell so bad.
Ted Nugent
We really cant recall the last time the Nuges music spoke louder than his big mouth. Actually, has he put out anything remotely worth listening to in the past 20 years, or does he just milk his legacy for all its worth? Seems like it might be a good time for Teddy to just spend all his time Wango Tango-ing with crossbows and bear traps.
Slash
As much as Slash has been whoring himself out in recent years, making some awful appearances and milking his Guns N Roses and Velvet Revolver days for lots of dough, the Top-Hatted One could definitely benefit from having an army of holograms playing The Star Spangled Banner and the Sweet Child o Mine lick at sporting events every day around the country.
Carlos Santana
After Supernatural, his ridiculous 1999 collaboration with some of rocks most milquetoast vocalists of all time, the once-pioneering Santana seems to be phoning his performances in these days, letting that ground-breaking spirit drift to the wayside, only to be replaced by dollar bills and an increasingly weird (and substance-abuse-fueled) sense of spirituality. Maybe its time he let a hologram step in for him?
Yngwie Malmsteen
Think about it, Yng: More donut timewhats not to love about that?
Kirk Hammett and James Hetfield
When youve managed to piss-off half your fan base twice over, youre probably doing something wrong. Kirk and James were once pioneers in the thrash- and speed-metal realms, now theyre both just giant wusses. Actually, lets include Lars in this one, too. They can leave the real Robert Trujillo onstage to do that monkey thing he does, but the rest of em are better off in the studioor better yet, surfing and collecting cool cars and horror-movie toys.
Eric Clapton
Lets face it: Clapton has been a major snooze-fest for at least the past decade. Maybe its about time old Slowhand traded his flesh and bones over for a hologram of his more vibrant (and more drugged-out) self from the old days. Plus, if you could get a hologram of Friedrich Nietzsche up onstage with Holo-Clapton, you could have a nice running bit of philosophical humor: God is dead but heres his replacement!
Guy Mann-Dude
Yeah, yeah this guys already dead (or at least his career is). But, a hologram Guy Mann-Dude would bring this shredders er genius back to the stage and let post-80s kids witness his majestywhich was obviously so manly and dudular that it required changing his name. Plus, you could get Holo-Paul Stanley and Holo-Tommy Leeboth of which would be excellent replacements for their live counterpartsand reform the supergroup The Dudes of Wrath. That would be awesome.
Did people lose their shit when he came out? Also, did it look cool in person?
