Time to make a change...

Sinmastah

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I'm going to preface this, with saying I don't know why I'm typing this here. I feel if I do it, I will feel more compelled to stick to this.

To make a long story short, I went to the parents for a weekend almost 2 weeks ago, looked in there mirror, and saw a bunch of changes I didn't like. I just look bigger, and it's not something I appreciate at all. My apartment doesn't have a full sized mirror, so it was hard to tell. I went from being about 200lb to about 245lb or so. Granted, I'm pretty dense, a lot of muscle in the leg, but there is a belly poking out. I told my girlfriend about my intentions to lose weight by both working out, and dieting. I wanted to cut my food intake in half, and have done a phenomenal job of it (So far). Basically I find that I'm full, but just like the taste of food, and it's just nice doing something. The next day, she says she wants a break from our relationship for an undetermined amount of time.

During this time, I've been working on improving my health, by eating less, working out, and am now cutting down my alcohol intake by 80% or so. I used to drink at home quite a bunch (and I know some people have run into my drunken ass here at MLP). I just feel bad while I drink, and feel worse. It got to the point where it felt weird if I was staying at my place alone, if I wasn't drinking. Eventually I asked myself why I drank alone. And I can't answer that, because there is no good reason. When this relationship break happened, I was convinced I couldn't deal with it without alcohol. I got hammered every night until the weekend, when I had to work until 3:30am. I had a lot of time to do some thinking to myself. That is when I decided to never drink alone except of the rarest of circumstances, and even then, not get drunk. Since then, I feel better about myself, I'm happier, my body feels better (which I'm sure working out helps).

At the gym today I ran on an elliptical for about 7 miles (I use the elliptical because I walk on cement floors at work all day, and don't want further joint issues), I came home and felt great. Since I was at my parents, when I weighed about 245 (Only wearing boxers), I now weigh 233 (With shoes, sweatpants, phone, wallet, etc). It's a great change. I've been asked if I've been doing this because of my break, and I said that motivated me, but I'm doing it for me, and it can only help the personal issues going on.

I look back at my drinking history. I've fallen off a bridge, down about 10 feet onto a frozen stream, missed a bunch of rocks only by a couple of feet. I've said horrible things to my girlfriend that I should never have. I've been an ass here, and been doing many other things that I now want to slap myself over. I'm not going to admit to being an alcoholic, but I truly believe I was damn close. I was looking at the pros and cons of alcohol. No pros, lot's of cons. I will still go out and drink with buddies at the bar, or at a party, but won't get super wasted anymore, it's not fun. I feel like shit after, and I want to know if I was mean to anyone. That's not a good situation.

If anyone cares about relationship issues, basically we've been talking slowly, every other day about little stuff. Ran into her the other day, and she seemed happy to see me. Said she missed me a little (Been about 10 days now, and this was 4 days ago). We talked and agreed to meet up next weekend to sit down and talk, and I hope it goes well. I miss her, but this break was needed for the both of us. I woke up and now realize I have to change, and she needed some much needed time alone, and with her friends, to have fun. Spring break is next week, and I think that is just what we both need. Apparently breaks can work out quite a bit. She isn't the one to go and try to sleep with anyone (I'm her first boyfriend, and 2nd in bed), and she is the sweetest girl I've ever met. She will never try to screw me over, and I've had to deal with that with other people. She always looks out for me, and I can be the biggest ass to her. I feel so bad about it, but it won't matter if things don't work out. This is why I've made a lot of the changes in my attitude the past month.

Basically, in short, if anyone is still reading this TL;DR, minimize drinking substantially is my huge priority, followed with cutting back on eating food, and starting to work out. Getting my life back on track is the first thing, then getting this relationship on track is next. If anyone wants to PM me about things, tips, about cutting back, or with this relationship issue, I'm more than happy to talk. I'm trying to keep busy anyways.

Peace. My apologies to anyone I've been a major ass to on here, due to drunken posts. I no longer want to drink right now, and the thought of it repulses me to be honest.
 

Nicky

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Very commendable plan and a great attitude. Don't think you need any advice from us other than to persevere and endure the setbacks that are going to occur in the coming months. You will be tempted to cheat on your plan often. It's what you do then that will write the end to this story. Don't give up, and you will a better man than most of us.

But for now, get off my lawn. :D
 

Sinmastah

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what's so interesting about sobriety to you guys

i mean, REALLY?

I think it's interesting that I don't feel good getting drunk, and feel worse the next day.

Very commendable plan and a great attitude. Don't think you need any advice from us other than to persevere and endure the setbacks that are going to occur in the coming months. You will be tempted to cheat on your plan often. It's what you do then that will write the end to this story. Don't give up, and you will a better man than most of us.

But for now, get off my lawn. :D

Thanks man. I gotta start somewhere. I figure why not now? Besides, if the relationship falls through, I'll be getting into good shape, for whatever life throws at me.
 

Skintaster

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Good luck. :)

I pictured you as a skinny little guy for some reason..l sounds more like you're my size. :)
 

Skintaster

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what's so interesting about sobriety to you guys

i mean, REALLY?

For me, I just like not feeling like crap the next day... Seemed like the hangovers just got worse and worse as I got older, and it wasn't any fun anymore.
 

VastHorizon

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Sin, buddy, we need to talk.


This is partly the reason why I tried to avoid you. I know I shouldn't have
as I consider you a good friend, but dealing with my issues alone
was more than enough for me.

Let's talk soon, brother.
 

lespaul01

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I think it's interesting that I don't feel good getting drunk, and feel worse the next day.

That is what happens to amateurs.

You need to drink lots of water whilst getting pi$$ed and you will be 100% th next day,

Bye
 

Sinmastah

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Good luck. :)

I pictured you as a skinny little guy for some reason..l sounds more like you're my size. :)

I'm not fat, I'm not skinny. Just pretty dense I think. But I have a small belly, but trying to get rid of it.
 

Sinmastah

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That is what happens to amateurs.

You need to drink lots of water whilst getting pi$$ed and you will be 100% th next day,

Bye

I don't get sick, I just don't like the feeling of it.
 

Nicky

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Then what's the problem

Leave the kid alone. You are being "obtuse" just for the hell of it.

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Good God! I'm defending Sinmastah!!! :wow:
 

SixAngryStrings

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You've already faced the hardest part... Looking at the mirror and saying to yourself that you want to change. It's got to be twice as hard going through "a break" with the girlfriend. But change for yourself man, to be someone that YOU are happy with.

I LOVE to drink, but if it reaches the point to where I'm feeling like crap without it, well, it kind of defeats the purpose, which is to enjoy drinking and have fun, as long as you're not being a complete ass or putting others or yourself in danger.

About the girlfriend, I've been there man... too many times. I'm married now, but I used to love the ladies, and a lot of girls can just chew holes through a mans soul if you let them. Best advice I can give you is, DON'T CALL HER! Let her go, and tell yourself that YOU want to be with somebody that wants to be with YOU. Stay friends if you can, but don't put her in a position to feel like she's settling on you, she'll make your life a living hell.

If you ever want to chat, feel free to PM me man!
 

Tuesday'sGone

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best of luck with the drinking. It isn't easy leaving it behind. I still dream of it everyday, and it has been about a year and a half since my last drink.

The only person who knows when it is time is you.
 

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