Those [email protected]*&king drummers...

Kezia

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Allow me to bitch and moan for a little bit, fellas.

About 3 years ago I joined my best friend's band, they needed a bassist as he was moving to drums to replace their old drummer. I didn't really know how to play bass all too well but I said "hey fuck it why not" and joined in. I've learned a lot about playing bass, I've had a lot of fun, and we've made some pretty good music together. However, things have started to turn sour recently.

Usually at practice we'll split a 12 pack between the 3 of us, nothin wrong with getting a little loose. But eventually a 12 pack turned into a 24 pack, then a 24 pack into a 30 rack and a bottle of evan williams, and the drinking started becoming more important than the practice. Eventually it got to the point where I had to put my foot down, and talk the other guys into not having a ridiculous amount of alcohol at practice. They agreed, and while our guitarist has stuck by that our drummer (the best friend I mentioned earlier) has only gotten worse.

We implemented another rule as to not allow other people in our practice space while we're practicing. We got one buddy that pops in every now and again, but he doesn't interfere so we all agreed that it's cool if he's there. However, our drummer has started ignoring that rule and the "dont drink so much that you can't practice" rule.

A few weeks ago I walk in, theres a few extra people, our drummer is mildly wasted but sober enough to play halfway decent. We have a talk, try to re-establish the boundaries we've all set, and things are good. The next week, I walk in and there's even more people there and our drummer is chugging bottles and bottles of cheap aldi wine. He's obviously way too wasted to do fucking anything. So our guitarist and I did our best to get everyone out of there, make a bed for our drummer, then leave in hopes that maybe that night he fucked up so bad that he'd start reconsidering his actions.

Then LAST week happens. Our guitarist and I drive down to the practice space about 40 minutes outside our town, and we open the door to practically the entire fucking town in our practice space. Our drummer is taking shot after shot, drink after drink, so we just got the hell out of there. We have had this same discussion with our drummer multiple times now, and at this point he's left us no option but to kick him out.

Maybe I've given him too many chances, but do y'all think that I'm in the right for kicking him out after he's clearly disrespected the established boundaries and rules of our practice space? It's a goddamn shame what alcohol does to people when they abuse it. Our drummer was my best friend, hell he was the officiant of my wedding. I know it's not my responsibility at all to try and keep him on the straight and narrow, but lately I've kinda had to become his "strict dad"/sponsor because I genuinely do care about him and his mental health. The dude is clearly spiraling out of control.

So to make things short, any of y'all know any drummers in the DFW that need a band?
 

Freddy G

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There's a lesson to be had. No substance abuse of any kind during a practice. Do you go to work and have a couple of beers?
Every member of the band relies on the others to be productive. Here you are, taking a night off to go do something with a bunch of guys (and for no money....at least not until you start gigging) ....God, it's bad enough when someone doesn't do their homework and learn what they were supposed to. But to party and get inebriated when you are collectively trying to accomplish something is absolutely stupid. I wouldn't tolerate that even one time. Party afterwards, or on a different night.
 

Kezia

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There's a lesson to be had. No substance abuse of any kind during a practice. Do you go to work and have a couple of beers?
Every member of the band relies on the others to be productive. Here you are, taking a night off to go do something with a bunch of guys (and for no money....at least not until you start gigging) ....God, it's bad enough when someone doesn't do their homework and learn what they were supposed to. But to party and get inebriated when you are collectively trying to accomplish something is absolutely stupid. I wouldn't tolerate that even one time. Party afterwards, or on a different night.


There was a time in my life where I'd have a couple shots before work and bring a little flask with me to "get me through the day", and it ended up in me not only having terrible performance at work but got me fired. After that combined with my DUI, it was a much needed wake up call to get my shit together. Thankfully now I've been 5 months sober, I landed a very great career in my field, and it's only made me more sick and tired of drunkard BS.

I know drinking is a lotta fun and whatnot, but when it starts affecting almost every aspect of your life it's time to just give it up and figure your shit out. I sincerely hope that this can maybe be a wake up call for our drummer. I'm not holding out for it by any means, but goddamn this dude's gotta get his shit together.
 

Tone deaf

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There was a time in my life where I'd have a couple shots before work and bring a little flask with me to "get me through the day", and it ended up in me not only having terrible performance at work but got me fired. After that combined with my DUI, it was a much needed wake up call to get my shit together. Thankfully now I've been 5 months sober, I landed a very great career in my field, and it's only made me more sick and tired of drunkard BS.

I know drinking is a lotta fun and whatnot, but when it starts affecting almost every aspect of your life it's time to just give it up and figure your shit out. I sincerely hope that this can maybe be a wake up call for our drummer. I'm not holding out for it by any means, but goddamn this dude's gotta get his shit together.
You can't save him.

You need a better environment for your continued success.

Time to move on.
 

ErictheRed

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You're describing alcoholism and substance abuse. Even four beers during a practice session is a lot IMO, especially if they're higher alcohol content like IPAs. We've pretty much always done 2 beers max, sometimes none. No hard and fast rule, we just actually want to play music and get better.
 

HardCore Troubadour

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you have more problems that that bud,......if you were taking shots before work and bringing a flask, you are a full blown alcoholic....once you got fired, you ceased being a somewhat functioning alcoholic..........at 5 months, you are NOT sober yet, not by a damn long shot.....the reason for you to leave that environment should have fuckall to do with him.

True story.
 

redcoats1976

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have a friend that played for years in a popular local band.drinking has gotten the best of him too,and im pretty sure they are currently seeking a new lead guitarist/singer.
 

matthew bear

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Well, it’s a damn shame... but I wouldn’t waste any more time on the dude. He may need to be abandoned and bottom out before he’ll get any better, sometimes people just wanna find rock bottom for themselves :dunno:
 

questionman

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I know some incredible players locally but I very rarely play with them for the same reasons. Especially after one threw up in my truck driving him home. I enjoy a good drink or 2 when I play, but half a case of beer as a “pregame” I don’t have the patience for. Hell one of them used to pound beers so quickly he would be on his 3rd 10 minutes after walking in the door

Artificial inspiration is not worth tolerating to that degree
 

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