The shooting range, The Walking Dead, racial sensitivity, and annoying supervisors.

Caleb

Platinum Supporting Member
V.I.P. Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2010
Messages
11,752
Reaction score
25,816
For me at least, the bi-annual pistol qualifications we do in this camp are just part of doing business; either a slight reprieve to daylight work hours for us vampires on the night shift, or a minor hassle that interrupts the weekly flow, all depending on how one chooses to look at it. I'm no Tackleberry, Christ knows we have a few of those, but I ain't no shooting range slouch either. It's not something I particular look forward to or particularly mind, it's just one of those things.

And it never really changes that much. For the last thirteen years, twenty six straight range dates, it's been the same thing. To a T. The same power point presentation, the same safety brief, the same spiel on trigger control, the same picture of the mangled hand from improper holstering, the same image of the quick draw with the missing toe, the same retired Marine instructor bellowing out at six in the damn morning, "Ok hard chargers! A hundred and four rounds 'til Miller time!" I know the serious and passionate shooting enthusiast will probably despise this assessment, but it really is easy to pretty much just go through the motions and phone the whole thing in.

Last week there was a slight change to the monotony. To quote Phil Connors from Groundhog Day: "Something is different. Anything different is good." See, it's actually quite difficult to fill an eight hour day with thirty people shooting one day qual and one night qual apiece. And since that's all the cheap bastards will supply us ammo for, that's all we shoot. So out of that eight hour day there is roughly six hours and forty five minutes of sitting around the classroom, bullsh*tting with old friends, smoking out back, nodding off in the chair, and just time wasting of the general variety. On Thursday, while leaning against the wall contemplating life's mysteries, the instructor came in and enthusiastically asked who wanted to give the new "simunitions" video game program a go. A little sad to say, but I didn't even bother looking up until I heard the instructor utter the magic words: "It's zombie scenarios. I need three volunteers."

Naturally, I was pretty much instantly out of my seat and brandishing the simunitions Glock, ready to rid the world of the zombie pestilence once and for all. I hardly even registered the two guys who would be joining me in this righteous endeavor; both young kids fresh to patrol, neither of whom I can say with any amount of certainty I'd ever seen before in my life prior to that morning. As I waited for the program to cue up and freshly invigorated by the change of pace, I decided to set the tone of this thing right out of the gate. I glanced at one of the new guys next to me, a big burly fella, and said, "Ok, obviously I'm Rick. You can be Daryl I guess." Making a quick glance past Daryl, I looked for the other young officer and continued, "You can be, uh--", and fell into a brief yet self conscious silence when I discovered that the officer I was addressing was a young Asian dude. Rolling with this development, I went on to say, "How about Tyreese?" He just looked at me for a second, rolled his eyes a little and said, "No, it's ok. I can be Glenn."

Well, your call buddy. Maybe I just don't understand my audience, but I was a little disappointed that nobody in the room thought this situation was as hilarious as I did. I'm sure it probably speaks more to my immaturity and level of boredom than it does about what they find entertaining. In any event, and in case anyone was wondering, the zombie video game was pretty f*cking awesome. Live action actors, spooky locations, excessive gore, all that sh*t. I was pretty lucky too, because I found out that two days after I was there some do-gooder captain was qualifying at the range and objected to the game due to one fact that I'm sure we are all aware of: Walkers can only be taken down with head shots. "Improper training! Center mass!", this crusader apparently railed to a room full of captive and more than likely apathetic listeners. But of course, this dude's gripe went high enough up the ladder that the range no longer offers the opportunity to digitally ensure the survival of the human race and quickly sh*tcanned the zombie video game. Oh well. I'll be back in six months, as bright eyed and bushy tailed as ever, ready to shoot. "A hundred and four rounds 'til Miller time!"
 
Last edited:

OldBenKenobi

Senior Member
Joined
Jun 4, 2010
Messages
8,472
Reaction score
11,480
That's a real Costanza of a situation.

It's never good to be in a Costanza of a situation. It's even less good to be the Costanza in the situation.
 

Harmony

V.I.P. Member
Joined
Feb 27, 2009
Messages
16,204
Reaction score
38,255
:laugh2: That is pretty funny.

I would love to do something like that . I can hear myself now .. die you bastard die! (Mal says I do that in games) :laugh2:

That sucks the captain put a stop to it . Maybe they will find an alternative one that meets his expectations somehow .

Excuse my naivety.. but do they not do any kind of virtual shooting practice at the ranges at all?
 

ToneasaurusRex

Senior Member
Joined
Sep 30, 2010
Messages
3,697
Reaction score
3,740
Cool story, thanks for sharing. I've never been a cop but I've been through (and led) good and bad government trainings, both in and out of the Marine Corps, and I am well aware that boring, redundant training is ineffective.

My next reaction is one I often have in these modern times: seems to me to be the simplest effing thing in the world to re-program the zombie game so that shots on center mass, rather than head shots, result in kills. (Or higher scores, or whatever the desired rubric says.) Then you could have your cake and eat it, too: train yourselves to aim at center mass while enjoying the zombie fantasy.
 

Kamen_Kaiju

smiling politely as they dream of savage things
V.I.P. Member
Joined
Jan 21, 2010
Messages
87,110
Reaction score
267,606
I'd be average on the range,..but I'd destroy a video game! That sounds like a lot of fun. I loved those arcade games with the gun controllers.

..."You'll be"...(sees the dude is Asian)...:laugh2:

Should've gone with Shane. Everyone loves Shane. :applause:
 

truckermde

Senior Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2012
Messages
19,315
Reaction score
26,718
Sounds like you made the best of it:)

I hate it when some killjoy has to spoil what little fun can be built into a necessary evil.

I had a buddy in the custom bike business, a client at the tattoo shop, who had several police clients of his own, and had the opportunity to play the bad guy in some police training simulations.

He had some hilarious tales of bumbling from rookies, and the lambasting which followed from old hands. Don't do it that way anymore.

Sounded like good fun...
 

Meatwad

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 2, 2013
Messages
11,586
Reaction score
39,757
Ask that captain if he's heard of an old game called "fragging".:run:
 

DotStudio

Senior Member
Joined
Nov 12, 2015
Messages
6,756
Reaction score
16,990
I was an artillery instructor in a past life, but would run the rifle range from time to time. This also gave me unlimited access to the training simulator. We spent a lot of down time taking on insurgents. Things would get goofy pretty quick when a bunch of sergeants are locked in a room with a giant video game at their disposal. Good times.
 

Caleb

Platinum Supporting Member
V.I.P. Member
Joined
Jan 7, 2010
Messages
11,752
Reaction score
25,816
Excuse my naivety.. but do they not do any kind of virtual shooting practice at the ranges at all?

For the average street hump here, no not usually. I'm sure the 511 Tactical models on the ERT (SWAT) team get something like that. We don't even have our own range, we have to lease range times from a federal facility way out in the sticks. I mean, why would we have our own facility? It's only a major world capitol and the seat of the US government. :facepalm::laugh2:
 

scott1970

Senior Member
Joined
Oct 21, 2015
Messages
8,414
Reaction score
29,255
You've given me a glimmer of hope for the upcoming mandatory FATS (firearms training simulator) shoot. The most fun scenarios so far have been a robbery scenario that can't be won due to handgrenades and the world's ugliest tranny showing some leg just before trying to stab me.

Our local sheriff's department keeps a FATS machine on hand, so that's where we have to go to play on it. Oddly enough it is usually manned by a corrections division training supervisor with zero road experience who loves giving advice on proper armed street engagement.

One year I took a shooting buddy of mine, because he was so fascinated with the FATS machine. He's never been a cop, but he's been to jail. I figured that gave him enough credentials, so I took him with me, assigned him a fake name and badge number, and had him sign in. The sheriff's office was none the wiser, we had a blast, and he loved it.

The most fun I've ever had with the FATS was with my good friend from work. There are many scenarios each of which can be manipulated to include a lethal threat, no threat at all, and anything in between....it's all up to whatever direction the instructor feels like taking with each scenario. We devised a plan on the drive over to the sheriff's office. Our plan was simple...kill the bad guy on every single scenario by emptying a full mag each and then attempt to justify our shooting with the corrections officer knowing some of them would be straight up murder. It was more fun than either of us could have anticipated. One had a man push his wife up against a wall, so we both smoked the guy. The look on the instructor's face was priceless. We told him we could articulate death or serious bodily injury from our angle because he appeared to be choking the woman which wasn't the case at all. Video after video was the same thing. Some deserved it, and a bunch didn't but we killed all of them and acted completely sincere while justifying each shoot.
 
Last edited:

Latest Threads



Top