The Mad Hatter's Tea Party

cmh6122

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Never heard that before. Having a considerable Irish heritage I understand that the Powers That Be have been scum-sucking piles of fecal matter long before the Atlantic slave trade existed, and remained that way after the Brits made it illegal. After all they still had the Irish and Scots.
For us to pretend that there is a level playing field is hypocrisy at its' most blatant.

Everything I thought I stood for as an American soldier has been trampled under the feet of a Malignant Narcissist that has been jacking off his ego in our faces since I was on active duty- and I ETS'd in 1986.

Maddie hates it when I take to myself.
 

ehb

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I didn't realise you had such a raft of damage going on there Ed. As in beyond the normal wear and tear. I certainly didn't know you weren't able to play for years and were recovering from nerve mashes.



WTF happened, if you don't mind me asking.

Bad fall and almost broke my neck... Had one disc explode backwards and slam the spinal bundle to the back of canal.... Other stuff injured in the area but surgeon said it was not as bad and no rush for surgery but it will probably come to that..... Had a hubcap size dead zone on back, right arm would shut off, nerve burn from hell 24/7.... Midline of right arm to outside was dead all the way down, fingertips dead along with bottom half of hand.... I'd get a cup of coffee, leave my office headed to a class and right arm would shut off and I'd drop my coffee.... Now THAT is bad luck dropping good coffee... Had surgery with some disc removal, fusion, and whatever else he did to stabilize.... Surgeon said no joy on it ever healing, too much nerve damage....

Wife and I were watching TV one day at home a few years later and my back was on fire....think bad burn.... I took my shirt off and asked wife if I was red on my back as it was on fire... Nope. She poked her finger around my back to see if it was hot like a sprained muscle, nope. BUT... The Cadillac hubcap size dead zone was a bit smaller. I could feel pressure from her finger where I hadn't been able to feel anything. The burn gradually subsided over weeks but the dead zone was getting smaller. Gradually I could tap my index finger on a hard surface and feel the impact a bit, still no touch signal getting to brain. Slow but gradual changes. I didn't have enough control for a long time to touch my thumbs and little finger together. When I realized nerves were actually healing/whatever, I would watch tv with hands flat on recliner arm and try to raise and lower a finger at the time.... At first one or two would kinda move a bit but odd, others not much. I just gritted my teeth and did it every day. Gradually I could pick up the correct finger and put it down. Soooo, I would watch TV and do the fans at the stadium wave with my fingers one after another. Right healed faster than left. I remember standing in front of the shop one day and touching my left thumb to little fingertip the first time in years... Hell yeah... I drug out one of my basses at home and started working. Granted, it was root note I IV V I country at first, then root to V with I IV V I... Then walks. Hurt like hell at first. trying to make the stretches but after a few weeks, I could run them pretty well. I was doing sound but a blues band wanted me to play percussion with em, soooo I did... Wrists got back strong from playing repetitive patterns for extended time on congas and ride patterns on cymbals both right and left hand lead. One night we were working up Shaky Ground (Delbert) and bass player had never played that OR any funk. He asked me if I was able to play it well enough for him to get the gist. He handed me his bass and I played a funk bass part that I had not even thought about playing for decades. Thump, pluck, slides, etc. Nailed it. That was a damn good feeling.

Started pulling out one of my Lesters and working scales and patterns to relearn interval distances (fingertip feeling was getting better).... Had fun getting it back... Piano, I still suck bad but one day it get there when I practice more on it... I learned I could turn on smooth jazz on Sirius on my TV and sometimes BB King Blues Channel, grab a bass or guitar, and have more fun than should be legal. I relearned by playing to make ME happy, not anybody else or any spotlight, etc.. Been there, done that. I was never about that. I just loved playing...if only for me. My bandmates would ask me if I wanted to play another instr on some songs. Nope. I told them 'I have a degree in percussion and finally after most of my life playing other instruments in bands I am back to playing percussion and NOT even drums... If we go Jazz, hell yes I'll play drums or whatever but I love what I'm doing now.'
I could be happy playing freaking triangle with Marillion or percussion with a symphony or washboard with a Bourbon Street Zydeco band or playing by myself on some instrument. Same amount of fun because I learned exactly what it was I lost....and then got back... It was the playing itself to satisfy me... Can't play sax though. Damnit I tried. Never could sound better than a drunk goose. Used to play hella wife's Paris built clarinet but her high dollar Paris built Selmer alto sax is beyond me. Almost bought another F-trig Trombone the other day on impulse..... After my somewhat recent Lester and Fen Am DLX Strat acquisition, I thought it might be prudent to table that...


Sorry for the long drawn out blathering.... I tend to ramble at times.... ;)
 

ehb

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^^^^^^
Heroic struggle.

Inspirational.

I’ll never complain about my hangnail again!
Thanks sonar, but no hero. Like everybody does at times, had a rough hand dealt. I just played the cards the best i could in the situation.

No hero. Folks have been through worse shit and kept putting one foot in front of the other and met it head on...
 

cmh6122

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Bad fall and almost broke my neck... Had one disc explode backwards and slam the spinal bundle to the back of canal.... Other stuff injured in the area but surgeon said it was not as bad and no rush for surgery but it will probably come to that..... Had a hubcap size dead zone on back, right arm would shut off, nerve burn from hell 24/7.... Midline of right arm to outside was dead all the way down, fingertips dead along with bottom half of hand.... I'd get a cup of coffee, leave my office headed to a class and right arm would shut off and I'd drop my coffee.... Now THAT is bad luck dropping good coffee... Had surgery with some disc removal, fusion, and whatever else he did to stabilize.... Surgeon said no joy on it ever healing, too much nerve damage....

Wife and I were watching TV one day at home a few years later and my back was on fire....think bad burn.... I took my shirt off and asked wife if I was red on my back as it was on fire... Nope. She poked her finger around my back to see if it was hot like a sprained muscle, nope. BUT... The Cadillac hubcap size dead zone was a bit smaller. I could feel pressure from her finger where I hadn't been able to feel anything. The burn gradually subsided over weeks but the dead zone was getting smaller. Gradually I could tap my index finger on a hard surface and feel the impact a bit, still no touch signal getting to brain. Slow but gradual changes. I didn't have enough control for a long time to touch my thumbs and little finger together. When I realized nerves were actually healing/whatever, I would watch tv with hands flat on recliner arm and try to raise and lower a finger at the time.... At first one or two would kinda move a bit but odd, others not much. I just gritted my teeth and did it every day. Gradually I could pick up the correct finger and put it down. Soooo, I would watch TV and do the fans at the stadium wave with my fingers one after another. Right healed faster than left. I remember standing in front of the shop one day and touching my left thumb to little fingertip the first time in years... Hell yeah... I drug out one of my basses at home and started working. Granted, it was root note I IV V I country at first, then root to V with I IV V I... Then walks. Hurt like hell at first. trying to make the stretches but after a few weeks, I could run them pretty well. I was doing sound but a blues band wanted me to play percussion with em, soooo I did... Wrists got back strong from playing repetitive patterns for extended time on congas and ride patterns on cymbals both right and left hand lead. One night we were working up Shaky Ground (Delbert) and bass player had never played that OR any funk. He asked me if I was able to play it well enough for him to get the gist. He handed me his bass and I played a funk bass part that I had not even thought about playing for decades. Thump, pluck, slides, etc. Nailed it. That was a damn good feeling.

Started pulling out one of my Lesters and working scales and patterns to relearn interval distances (fingertip feeling was getting better).... Had fun getting it back... Piano, I still suck bad but one day it get there when I practice more on it... I learned I could turn on smooth jazz on Sirius on my TV and sometimes BB King Blues Channel, grab a bass or guitar, and have more fun than should be legal. I relearned by playing to make ME happy, not anybody else or any spotlight, etc.. Been there, done that. I was never about that. I just loved playing...if only for me. My bandmates would ask me if I wanted to play another instr on some songs. Nope. I told them 'I have a degree in percussion and finally after most of my life playing other instruments in bands I am back to playing percussion and NOT even drums... If we go Jazz, hell yes I'll play drums or whatever but I love what I'm doing now.'
I could be happy playing freaking triangle with Marillion or percussion with a symphony or washboard with a Bourbon Street Zydeco band or playing by myself on some instrument. Same amount of fun because I learned exactly what it was I lost....and then got back... It was the playing itself to satisfy me... Can't play sax though. Damnit I tried. Never could sound better than a drunk goose. Used to play hella wife's Paris built clarinet but her high dollar Paris built Selmer alto sax is beyond me. Almost bought another F-trig Trombone the other day on impulse..... After my somewhat recent Lester and Fen Am DLX Strat acquisition, I thought it might be prudent to table that...


Sorry for the long drawn out blathering.... I tend to ramble at times.... ;)
Not blathering Ed. Am glad to know what you be dealing with. Just reread Stephen Ambose's "Band of Brothers" and it reinforced in me just how hard it is to get through this life. Wish we all had friends like they did. I still miss them. Hope we can at least be a place you can say ouch without one of us going 'Yeah I remember when I got ......'. Comparing scars is irrelevant, sharing hope is how we make it.
 

ehb

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Not blathering Ed. Am glad to know what you be dealing with. Just reread Stephen Ambose's "Band of Brothers" and it reinforced in me just how hard it is to get through this life. Wish we all had friends like they did. I still miss them. Hope we can at least be a place you can say ouch without one of us going 'Yeah I remember when I got ......'. Comparing scars is irrelevant, sharing hope is how we make it.
Yep. My no hero statement is sincere. We ALL get dealt a bad hand here and there. Hope gets us through it. Like digging up a stump. Slow and steady gets one to the other side of it. Hope keeps one motivated to persevere through it.

We all have our issues/demons/etc.. Having hope and sharing that hope with others helps us all gain strength.

Some ask 'Why is this happening to me?' Hell, it is happening to everybody in some fashion. Just knowing it ain't all roses and chocolate for anybody helps, i think, because of the strength of others helps one find his own strength....

Just is.
 

cmh6122

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Yep. My no hero statement is sincere. We ALL get dealt a bad hand here and there. Hope gets us through it. Like digging up a stump. Slow and steady gets one to the other side of it. Hope keeps one motivated to persevere through it.

We all have our issues/demons/etc.. Having hope and sharing that hope with others helps us all gain strength.

Some ask 'Why is this happening to me?' Hell, it is happening to everybody in some fashion. Just knowing it ain't all roses and chocolate for anybody helps, i think, because of the strength of others helps one find his own strength....

Just is.
Hope is.
 

ehb

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Charlie,

A close bud of mine (hunting partner, he was a long ranger in V.N. and after, way back) helped me deal with a potentially terminal fam med situation a bit over fifteen years back in an interesting way.

I'd be down at his metal fab shop trying to drink coffee without spilling it. He'd say don't spill my damn coffee, dipshit. Listen, you can sit there all poochie lipped or you can wipe your ass, pull up your britches, and get to dealing with the shit you need to deal with and get it taken care of. You spill my coffee and I don't give a damn who is sick, I'll shoot you in the foot. You got that, big boy?' Felt better right off from his tough ass brotherly love. Side note to savvy his crazy ass better...Old days Benning, Bragg, crawling through some really stank shit for a day or two overseas, etc., was his idea of fun. Sometimes a simple pat on the back or kick in the ass can work wonders giving you a jumpstart to pull your head out of your ass. I knew what he was actually meaning underneath getting on my ass...he knew I knew too. Real friends are cool....
 

ehb

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Ed, oh my. And a big fat f*ing A to how you dealt with this.

And

What Charlie said.
Thanks! Just one of bumps in my road...everybody hits em....

Could be worse. I could have grown up a Notre Dame college football fan with those other ten or twelve folks... ;)
 

79standard

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Thanks Ed :cheers2: And I'm starting to get a creak or three when I crawl out of bed in the mornings... no smugness here - God knows what state I'll be in if I make 63... :laugh2:
.
I'm too old n silly to remember if I wished you HBD, so let me do it now in the name of due diligence.
Happy birthday, young fella!
(Only 5 years ahead of you, as I hit 60 in August.)
 

Thumpalumpacus

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Everything I thought I stood for as an American soldier has been trampled under the feet of a Malignant Narcissist that has been jacking off his ego in our faces since I was on active duty- and I ETS'd in 1986.
I hear you, Charlie. This is not the country I signed up to serve 30 years ago. I almost feel as if they're spitting on our oath.

Also, your comment about "sharing hope" is a proper time-on-target shoot. Good gunnery there, m'friend. In times like this we must all share hope, or go tits-up.
 
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