Stuff You've a learned Touring?

[Skintaster]

So I just made a post about things a band learns when touring on my blog:

11 Things You’ll Learn When Your Band Goes On Tour | Trailer Park ninja

But I was thinking about it, and thought some of y'all probably have some great stories or experiences to tell.

So spill. What's happened to y'all when your bands have hit the road?

 

[Kalamazuu]

Another good read Skin.

But I have nothing to add.

 

[Skintaster]

Another good read Skin.

But I have nothing to add.

Thanks man. My deal is that in writing that entry I got to thinking how many different ways there are to tour.

Not everyone piles into the same sort of van or bus or whatever. Some people have tour managers, some are just doing it entirely themselves.

 

[Yui]

Awesome read, Skin! I also read one of your other posts while I was there. Good stuff, good stuff.

I've got nothing to add either. Mostly because I'm not that good at guitar, I've never toured, and because the current "band" I'm in only consists of lead guitar, rhythm guitar, and drums. X3 Maybe a bassist is in order.

At any rate, great job on writing that!

 

[AngryHatter]

- My guitar case doubles as a suitcase, easily
- Motel Six beats the van every time
- Bring more than you need of every thing
- Take every offer of food or drink or smoke
- Bring books - eBooks are preferable for weight
- Deck of cards
- Stock up on TOPS rolling papers

 

[frankencat]

Leave your gourmet palette home.
Learn how to sleep anywhere.
Always handle your own money.

 

[Maynar]

You learn to hate clowns, because the lack of sleep will have you hallucinating those white faced bastards in no time.

Priceless.

 

[mdubya]

My only real "touring" experience came as the memeber of a BMX Freestyle team traveling the country doing demos at bicycle shops, summer 1987.

Not a band, but we were the rock stars at each show, each of which drew huge crowds and caused traffic jams and all sorts of similar things.

1. if you have to piss in a cup while the van is rolling, be very careful about how you empty the cup out the door or window of the moving van.

2. never sit behind anyone emptying a cup full of piss from a moving van.

3. take any offers from the locals to come back to their house for a bbq, party, home cooking, afternoon in their pool, what ever. It can be a very nice break from motel parking lots and endless droning highway miles. Also, don't be afraid to cut and run if the invite turns out to be too weird or lame.

4. Middle America rednecks will chase you and try to harm you if you look the least bit "different."

5. Don't be surprised when your tour mates are jealous and miffed that they have to drive a little bit out of their way to come pick you up after you went home for a night a joy with a fan/groupie.

6. Don't be too surprised at the momma's boys that can't do anything for themselves.

7. When it is your turn to drive, remember, not everyone is comfortable with tires howling and 90 MPH on the freeway, everywhere. I was guilty of this and learned a lesson.

8. Do your best to have a good time.

 

[sonar1]

Never eat No-Doz. It'll eat your stomach.

Instead just plunge an icepick in your guts.

It feels the same, and you'll stay awake with less damage than the No-Doz does.

 

[SJJMcGhee]

You ever thought about writing for Cracked? You'd fit right in there

 

[AngryHatter]

Never eat No-Doz. It'll eat your stomach.

Instead just plunge an icepick in your guts.

It feels the same, and you'll stay awake with less damage than the No-Doz does.

It's just caffeine?

 

[coldsteal2]

KUSTOM amp cabs make great couches and beds!

 

[jonas335]

This goes back a way and is completely useless now but - never tour with a Chevy Corvair van...

 

[Cozmik Cowboy]

Haven't toured in 30 years, but (beyond yours, which are pretty much right on) the 3 that I recall most are:

1) Always look under the bed before you check out. And in the drawers - even if you think you didn't use them. I still do this; amuses the wife no end.
Same with the stage; look everywhere before you leave.

2) 4 barstools (padded ones, anyway) in a line will suffice for a nap between soundcheck & gig. And no, I'm sure that has nothing to with my current back problems (anymore than the spinet piano, and the B3, and the S4s.........)

3) If the venue is kind enough to maintain regular rooms or an apartment for the talent, enjoy. And don't be too surprised if you get crabs without even getting laid for your trouble. (True story. Don't wanna talk about it.)

 

[parts]

Ask for more..and take the soap..and towels from first hotel..then rotate through the next hotels..

buy Michelin rubbers...

wear a helmet..

 

[lunchbox]

Things I've learned...oh boy. Lots.

#1, though, is: when you're in Louisville, KY, and the whiskey-tango, biker soundguy at some shitty club tells you he doesn't want you walking by his gear with an open beer, but allows hot chicks to do so, it doesn't mean you can then do so. It means that if you do, he'll grab you from behind and hit you in the head about 3 or 4 times before you can swing yourself around and try to belt him back. But by that time you're both slipping in beer from the tables he's knocked down, and the best you're gonna get in is a weak kick to his forehead while falling down and being grabbed, and then thrown out, by the bouncers.

Yes, that happened to me, and it sucked.

 

[NeptuneBlue]

Haven't toured in 30 years, but (beyond yours, which are pretty much right on) the 3 that I recall most are:

1) Always look under the bed before you check out. And in the drawers - even if you think you didn't use them. I still do this; amuses the wife no end.
Same with the stage; look everywhere before you leave.

2) 4 barstools (padded ones, anyway) in a line will suffice for a nap between soundcheck & gig. And no, I'm sure that has nothing to with my current back problems (anymore than the spinet piano, and the B3, and the S4s.........)

3) If the venue is kind enough to maintain regular rooms or an apartment for the talent, enjoy. And don't be too surprised if you get crabs without even getting laid for your trouble. (True story. Don't wanna talk about it.)

Is it at all odd that 1 and 2, or at least the concept behind them, are everyday to me? I check everything I can when leaving a place, and can sleep in the oddest places and do so quite frequently for no reason, other than for a quick nap.

3... three just deserves more rolling laughs

 

[Nicky]

When on tour with a jazz group, you will meet the weirdest, yet nicest folks on the planet.

When the bus only sleeps six and there are ten in the band, you learn to sleep in most any position.

When I toured in the 70s, the hottest girls in the world were in...... Iowa! No, I'm not kidding.

The weed was better in the southern states.

Touring gets old after a year, or so.

One really does say "we love you Detroit" when you're actually in Indianapolis.

 

[twst1up]

Who didmyou play with? Anyone I'd know?

 

[sonar1]

It's just caffeine?

Yes. 100mg of caffeine, with no buffer.

Back in the day there was coffee and No-Doz (and crosstops). Now, of course, there's Monster, Rock Star, etc etc.