Rewarding normal behavior!!!!!!!!!!!?????

[DotStudio]

You're not rewarding yourself for normal behavior, you're rewarding yourself for having the strength to avoid abnormal behavior.

 

[MooCheng]

Your wife sounds like a wonderful lady with a great sense of humor. I had something a little similar when I gave up the cig's 40 a day was getting ridiculous.
My wife, unknown to me, put aside all the money that would have been spent on cig's and when the time was right insisted I go get the OM21 I always wanted, She's a tough 'ol gal with a warm heart

 

[SteveC]

First, conga-rats on your personal, life-saving accomplishments!!!!!




Now, as for her present... pull out your schlong, slap her in the face with it and say, "I got your present, right here!"

Then, go buy the damn guitar!

 

[I Break Things]

I would've gotten pissed. Firstly, I hate sarcasm the vast majority of the time. Secondly, normal people don't have to deal with the physical dependency, withdrawals, and cravings, which can last pretty much forever, that an addict has to deal with.

 

[Stevie 202]

Sorry man, logic fail IMHO.

The reward is not for not doing something negative...

it’s for having the courage to do something positive in your life that was extremely difficult to achieve.

 

[BACzero]

I told my wife I was thinking of buying a ES-335 to celebrate 25 years sobriety in Dec. As well it'll be a year not smoking in November, I found it really tough quitting.

Her response.........." I didn't murder anyone yesterday, do I get a present?"
Bam! right between the eyes. It struck me how bizarre my thought processes were. Normal people don't reward themselves for not doing bad stuff.

She met me 4 years into recovery so has no first hand knowledge of the bad years (decades). She was laughing when she said this and she is enjoying a nice present this fall, a trip overseas to see relatives and go to Africa to see wildlife. But her insight was brilliant and confirms I married the right woman who calls me out and does so with love.

Umm... I'm not sure this tracks. Your wife didn't spend a decade or so being a compulsive serial killer. If she had, then maybe she'd understand how good it feels to know she didn't kill anyone today. Just my two cents, of course. An alcoholic staying sober is not the same as a normie not killing someone, and I think you deserve a little recognition. Get the guitar. Post pics and we'll celebrate your sobriety with you, even if your wife won't. If nothing else, those of us who don't already own an ES-335 can live vicariously through you.

 

[mdubya]

Guitars never give you sass.

Get the 335. Or two.

 

[lunchbox]

Yep, us alcoholics are at the center of the universe, dontchaknow. We’re some of the only people that expect to be recognized for simply doing what we’re supposed to be doing anyway. It’s a symptom of the chips and coins.

Been sober for 24 hours like any normal person? Congratulations! Take this 24 hour chip to commemorate the accomplishment that you should have been doing anyway!

 

[MSB]

Hi MSB

As usual I did a piss poor job explaining. When my wife and I connected I was still under a professional drug and alcohol monitoring program. Mandatory 12 step meetings, professional group monitoring sessions with spousal involvement, random blood and urine drug testing, peer support group etc etc. She was up at 6 am with a cup of coffee for me as I did my daily phone check in with the monitoring office and then waited to see if I would be screened that day. So she was my biggest supporter and heavily involved directly with my recovery.

The monitoring program or probation as we called it was in place for 6 years and she put up with a lot of hassle as we tried to build a new life together as a blended family.

Every year on Dec 8th my wife has given me a nice card, spoiled me rotten, and taken me out for dinner to congratulate me on another year of sobriety. Her comment this year was made out of kindness and jest to poke fun of me.

I posted this as something positive and didn't mean to imply I took it negatively.

So Dec 8th 2019 I will be posting pictures of a Gibson ES-335
Don't ask what year or color or pickup's because I haven't found it yet. But I will, I earned it the hard way.

Brad

that's what I was hoping for. Most significant others won't stick around, so you've got a keeper. A little spoiling now and then never hurt anyone.

 

[BACzero]

Hi MSB

As usual I did a piss poor job explaining. When my wife and I connected I was still under a professional drug and alcohol monitoring program. Mandatory 12 step meetings, professional group monitoring sessions with spousal involvement, random blood and urine drug testing, peer support group etc etc. She was up at 6 am with a cup of coffee for me as I did my daily phone check in with the monitoring office and then waited to see if I would be screened that day. So she was my biggest supporter and heavily involved directly with my recovery.

The monitoring program or probation as we called it was in place for 6 years and she put up with a lot of hassle as we tried to build a new life together as a blended family.

Every year on Dec 8th my wife has given me a nice card, spoiled me rotten, and taken me out for dinner to congratulate me on another year of sobriety. Her comment this year was made out of kindness and jest to poke fun of me.

I posted this as something positive and didn't mean to imply I took it negatively.

So Dec 8th 2019 I will be posting pictures of a Gibson ES-335
Don't ask what year or color or pickup's because I haven't found it yet. But I will, I earned it the hard way.

Brad

Yeah, I should've read this one before I posted my previous response. Congrats on your sobriety, congrats on finding a wife that supports you, and early-congrats on an awesome ES-335!

 

[artis_xe]

She has a point and I accept her comment.
But we're addicts.
The reward process is part of our therapy and rehabilitation.

THIS

addicts are addicts because they have a distorted view / reward system already set up

if you need a reason , the argument for a new guitar should be

" I'm thinking of slipping and going back to drinking and drugging . which could end up being very costly ( in many ways ) . now . . . a new guitar would probably keep me distracted . and on the straight and narrow . it would be better for all of us "

 

[mdubya]

I have been with the same woman for 20 years and I DO NOT have an ES 335.

One of those things is going to change.

 

[Jymbopalyse]

I would definitely take the 335 over a participation ribbon.

 

[Stevie 202]

if you need a reason , the argument for a new guitar should be

" I'm thinking of slipping and going back to drinking and drugging . which could end up being very costly ( in many ways ) . now . . . a new guitar would probably keep me distracted . and on the straight and narrow . it would be better for all of us "

.......

 

[gadafi]

Well..... Where is it?

 

[Heddok]

Well..... Where is it?

Still searching, I'm in Canada, so smaller marketplace.
The search is part of the fun though.

 

[rogue3]

You want a 335.You don't need an excuse.But the fact your presenting one indicates you are not too far gone.If we can identify your new problem,we can label it, and you can get that 335.

 

[Marshall & Moonshine]

Ask her to prove she didn’t murder anyone.

 

[edro]

Always buy her something first.....Always.....

Our solid oak dining room set got me several guitars and keyboards....

When I bought her the new Accord some years back, she had caught on and said "What the hell did you buy???"

- A Yamaha SY Workstation.

"Nice! I love my car, sweetheart."




Almost got kilt though when I ordered a new bass rig and they shipped it in a Yamaha high end drum kit box.

She called my shop and said "Why is there a big Yamaha drum kit sitting in our den??? You have the old Slingerland Jazz kit. You don't need another kit. You don't even play jazz drums anymore!!!"

- It is a bass rig.

"Oh, ok."

Go figure... Almost ordered a new drum kit...

 

[TheX]

Who says it's a reward or present? You're paying for it.

I guess the reward part is being allowed to spend the money he makes.