Quote of the day..

prs97

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"If you can't be a good example, then you'll just have to be a horrible warning."

"Just as long as everyone does what I say, my communication skills are just fine" -Jesse James

“Until proven wrong, assume you are the weak link in any system” - Alton Brown

"Well Done is better than well said" - Ben Franklin
 

mtgguitar

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“I believe some music is bad for people to listen to. I think it makes their taste worse, I think it makes their lives worse, I think it makes them worse people.”
Jason Isbell

"I’d sell my (hypothetical) first child to never have to hear another song about a goddamn truck again..."
Amy McCarthy
 

cybermgk

“Happiness is the most insidious prison of all"
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"Mommy"
 

mtgguitar

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"If somebody had told me that you have a choice of being a rock star or playing left field for the Detroit Tigers, there would not have been a choice at all. I would have said, "Where's my locker."

Vincent Furnier, AKA Alice Cooper. 2000.
 

mtgguitar

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Hollywood Squares

Q . Paul, what is a good reason for pounding meat?
A. Paul Lynde: Loneliness! (The audience laughed so long and so hard it took up almost 15 minutes of the show!)

Q. It is the most abused and neglected part of your body, what is it?
A. Paul Lynde: Mine may be abused, but it certainly isn’t neglected.

Q. Do female frogs croak?
A. Paul Lynde: If you hold their little heads under water long enough.

Q. If you're going to make a parachute jump, at least how high should you be?
A. Charley Weaver: Three days of steady drinking should do it.

Q. True or False, a pea can last as long as 5,000 years?
A. George Gobel: Boy, it sure seems that way sometimes.

Q. You've been having trouble going to sleep. Are you probably a man or a woman?
A. Don Knotts: That's what's been keeping me awake.

Q. According to Cosmopolitan, if you meet a stranger at a party and you think that he is attractive, is it okay to come out and ask him if he's married?
A.. Rose Marie: No, wait until morning.

Q. Which of your five senses tends to diminish as you get older?
A. Charley Weaver: My sense of decency.

Q. What are 'Do It,' 'I Can Help,' and 'I Can't Get Enough'?
A.George Gobel: I don't know, but it's coming from the next apartment.

Q. As you grow older, do you tend to gesture more or less with your hands while talking?
A. Rose Marie: You ask me one more growing old question Peter, and I'll give you a gesture you'll never forget.

Q. Paul, why do Hell's Angels wear leather?
A. Paul Lynde: Because chiffon wrinkles too easily.

Q. Charley, you've just decided to grow strawberries. Are you going to get any during the first year?
A. Charley Weaver: Of course not, I'm too busy growing strawberries.

Q. In bowling, what's a perfect score?
A. Rose Marie: Ralph, the pin boy.

Q. During a tornado, are you safer in the bedroom or in the closet?
A. Rose Marie: Unfortunately Peter, I'm always safe in the bedroom.

Q. Can boys join the Camp Fire Girls?
A. Marty Allen: Only after lights out.

Q. When you pat a dog on its head he will wag his tail. What will a goose do?
A. Paul Lynde: Make him bark?

Q. If you were pregnant for two years, what would you give birth to?
A. Paul Lynde: Whatever it is, it would never be afraid of the dark..

Q. According to Ann Landers, is there anything wrong with getting into the habit of kissing a lot of people?
A. Charley Weaver: It got me out of the army.

Q. Back in the old days, when Great Grandpa put horseradish on his head, what was he trying to do?
A. George Gobel: Get it in his mouth.

Q. Jackie Gleason recently revealed that he firmly believes in them and has actually seen them on at least two occasions. What are they?
A. Charley Weaver: His feet.

Q. According to Ann Landers, what are two things you should never do in bed?
A. Paul Lynde: Point and laugh.
 

DavGrape

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Omigahd, the Charley Weaver strawberries one.
Hahaha!
 

cybermgk

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“Not to mince words, Mr. Epstein, but we don’t like your boys’ sound. Groups are out; four-piece groups with guitars particularly are finished.”

Dick Rowe, executive in charge of evaluating new talent for the London office of Decca Records about The Beatles



“Simply stated, we have a new formula for Coke.”
Roberto C. Goizueta, Company Chairman, Coca-Cola
 

cybermgk

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I believe in an America where millions of Americans believe in an America that’s the America millions of Americans believe in. That’s the America I love.
Mitt Romney

Those who survived the San Francisco earthquake said, “Thank God, I’m still alive.” But, of course, those who died, their lives will never be the same again.
Barbara Boxer, Senator

I’m someone who has a deep emotional attachment to Starsky and Hutch.
Bill Clinton, former U.S. President

If you take out the killings, Washington actually has a very low crime rate.
Marion Barry, mayor of Washington, D.C.

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dumb-celebrity-quotes.jpg
 

Bill Hicklin

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“Not to mince words, Mr. Epstein, but we don’t like your boys’ sound. Groups are out; four-piece groups with guitars particularly are finished.”

Dick Rowe, executive in charge of evaluating new talent for the London office of Decca Records about The Beatles
Rowe did later redeem himself by signing the Rolling Stones to Decca
 

spoony

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“Better a cruel truth than a comfortable delusion...” -Edward Abbey
 

mtgguitar

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“Sure, luck means a lot in football. Not having a good quarterback is bad luck."

Don Shula
 

mtgguitar

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Tommy Lasorda :
"There are three types of baseball players: Those who make it happen, those who watch it happen and those who wonder what happens."

"All last year we tried to teach him (Fernando Valenzuela) English, and the only word he learned was million."

"The only way I'd worry about the weather is if it snows on our side of the field and not theirs."
 
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