Quick joke (this one's funny)

[mtgguitar]

Maid answers phone, the caller says, "Can I speak to my wife?" She says, "No, she's upstairs in bed with her boyfriend." The man says, "Ok, go to the hall closet and take out my shotgun, go upstairs and kill them both."

Being the loyal maid, she says, "Ok." 5 minutes later she picks up the phone and says, "They're both dead, what should I do with the bodies?" He says, "Throw them in the pool and I'll take care of them when I get home." She says, "We don't have a pool." He asks, "Is this 555-1234?"

 

[slapshot]

what's the hardest thing about rollerblading?

tellin yer parents you're gay


what do you call a greek popstar?

a gyprocker

 

[Leendrix]

Maid answers phone, the caller says, "Can I speak to my wife?" She says, "No, she's upstairs in bed with her boyfriend." The man says, "Ok, go to the hall closet and take out my shotgun, go upstairs and kill them both."

Being the loyal maid, she says, "Ok." 5 minutes later she picks up the phone and says, "They're both dead, what should I do with the bodies?" He says, "Throw them in the pool and I'll take care of them when I get home." She says, "We don't have a pool." He asks, "Is this 555-1234?"

 

[bscenefilms]

If Yanni and Kenny G both jumped off the top of the Empire State building at the same time, who would land first?

Who cares?

A few years ago my wife and I took a joke and made a short film out of it. It's pretty crappy LOL but you can see it here:

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=_aY8TY0hoCQ[/ame]

 

[dynabite]

There once was a hooker named Sue
Who filled her vagina with glue
She said with a grin
If they'll pay to get in
They'll pay to get out of it too

 

[mtgguitar]

A husband takes his wife to play her first round of golf. She whacked her first shot right through the window of a nearby house.

The husband said, "now we have to apologize and see how much this is going to cost us." So the couple walked up to the house and knocked on the door. A man's voice said, "Come on in."

When they opened the door they saw glass all over the place and a broken antique bottle lying on its side. A man reclining on the couch asked, "Are you the people that broke the window?"

"Uh, yeah, sir.. We're sure sorry about that," the husband replied.

"Oh, no apology is necessary. Actually I want to thank you. I'm a genie, and I've been trapped in that bottle for a thousand years. Now that you've released me, I'll give you each one wish, but if you don't mind, I'll keep the last one for myself."

"Wow, that's great!" the husband said. He pondered a moment and blurted out, "I'd like a million dollars a year for the rest of my life."

"No problem," said the genie. "You've got it, it's the least I can do. And I'll guarantee you a long, healthy life!" "And now you, young lady, what do you want?" the genie asked.

"I'd like to own a gorgeous home complete with servants in every country in the world," she said. "Consider it done," the genie said. "And your homes will always be safe from fire, burglary and natural disasters!"

"Now," the couple asked in unison, "what's your wish, genie?"

"Well, since I've been trapped in that bottle and haven't been with a woman in more than a thousand years, my wish is to have sex with your wife."

The husband looked at his wife and said, what do you think?"

She mulled it over for a few moments and said, "You know, you're right. Considering our good fortune, I guess I wouldn't mind."

So the genie and the woman went upstairs where they spent the rest of the afternoon enjoying each other in every way. Afterwards, the genie rolled over and asked, "How old are you and your husband?"

"We're both 35," she responded.

"NO SHIT." He said, "Thirty-five years old and you still believe in genies?"

 

[coldsteal2]

so, a bass player walks into a bar...

and again ends up paying for the guitarist and singers drinks