Quick joke (this one's funny)

[Leendrix]

Kirk Hammett was giving a speech on guitar. He said "God sent me here to teach you all how to play guitar".

Jimi Hendrix said "No I didn't". Hope I could help shake off the Tuesday blues.

 

[Blackie]

Meh ...... go back and work on your act some more.

 

[Leendrix]

Meh ...... go back and work on your act some more.

Everyone's a critic!

 

[msfenderarg]

j/k

 

[msfenderarg]

Aw shoot, double post

 

[C.Daniels]

I wouldn't want to take lessons with Kirk Hammet even if I was paid

 

[Danelectro]

 

[v8ko]

Roses are red, Violets are blue, I suck at poetry, you have big boobs.

 

[slapshot]

2 jews walk into a bar.
one says we really should put a door here

 

[Hawiian2]

Talking dog walks into a bar and says to the Bartender
"Hey, its my birthday, how about a free drink"?
Bartender says
"Sure thing mack, the toliets are in back"

 

[SGMM]

A patient is lying in his bed in the hospital wearing an oxygen mask over his mouth & nose still heavily sedated from a difficult surgical procedure....a nurse appears to give him a partial sponge bath....& the patient asks: "nurse are my testicles black" ??

Embarrassed the nurse replies: "sir I'm only here to wash your upper body" !!

The patient struggles to ask again: "but nurse are my testicles black" ??

Concerned that he may elevate his vital stats from worrying about his testicles the nurse overcomes her embarrassment & quickly pulls back the bed sheet....she raises his gown & checks his testicles lifting & moving them around....takes a close look & says: "your testicles are ok sir" !!

The patient pulls off his oxygen mask smiles at the nurse & says slowly: "thank you....that was wonderful....but please listen very carefully:

"a r e - m y - t e s t - r e s u l t s - b a c k" ??

 

[Mike.B.]

Jimi Hendrix said "No I didn't".

"Who the F*** said you were God?"

 

[kmrumedy]

Two Dsylexics walk into a bra....

 

[Oranjeaap]

A neutron walks into a bar and orders a beer. The bartender sets the beer down and says, for you, no charge

 

[Oranjeaap]

A proton walks into a bar, and says to the barkeeper: Could you help me find my electron, Im afraid I just lost it.
'Are you sure?' replies the barkeeper.
Yes, im positive, the proton says

 

[Oranjeaap]

There are 10 types of people, those who understand binary, and those who dont

 

[Oranjeaap]

Why are quantum physicists so poor at sex?
Because when they find the position, they can't find the momentum, and when they have the momentum, they can't find the position.

 

[ilovemypaul]

A blonde walks into a dry cleaners. She drops off a shirt with a stain on it. The next day she comes back to pick up the shirt. She pays the old Chinese lady at the counter, and as she's leaving the lady calls out "Thank you come again!". The blonde turns around angrily and replies "It was toothpaste you nosy B*tch!"

 

[Oranjeaap]

Some jokes for the people with some understanding at physics

Alright, one more:

What do you do with a dead scientist?
Barium!

 

[bertzie]

Some jokes for the people with some understanding at physics

Alright, one more:

What do you do with a dead scientist?
Barium!

That was abismuth.