PSA: Do Not Hump the Stuffed Animals at Target.

KSG_Standard

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 5, 2009
Messages
27,858
Reaction score
35,855
Cops: Man Had Sex With Stuffed Animals At Target
Assault victims included Olaf from animated Disney movie "Frozen"

OCTOBER 23--A Florida Man yesterday sexually assaulted a pair of “large stuffed animal toys” inside a Target store, according to police who arrested the fiend on a criminal mischief charge...



Another Florida Man story. First thing I thought of when I read it, was Boleskine's posting of animals humping strange things.
 

Tim Fezziwig

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 20, 2010
Messages
30,126
Reaction score
65,805
I must admit, Olaf gets me "going", but, I need a "tangible" Olaf-made of real snow and MAGICK- stuffed toy? No thanks. I want to feel the ice. My wife knows snow-people arouse me,she bought me this to carry my books in-thus I'm usually aroused, I carry this everywhere.
1571869958237.png
 

Droog

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 29, 2008
Messages
2,240
Reaction score
1,679
Dry hump is OK, as long as:
  • No children watching
  • Doll is not dirtied or put on the floor
  • Dryness is maintained
Most important rule:


  • LOCATION! LOCATION! LOCATION! If it's in public, it's a no no.
 

Bobby Mahogany

Senior Member
Joined
Feb 25, 2012
Messages
24,176
Reaction score
37,222
He then began to “dry hump” the cinematic snowman “until he ejaculated on the merchandise,” a cop reported.​
Meader returned the soiled Olaf back to the display before entering the toy department, where he “selected a large unicorn stuffed animal and began to ‘dry hump’ this item.”
After consorting with the stuffed animals, Meader, who lives in St. Petersburg, was detained while still inside the store. After being read his rights, Meader reportedly “admitted to doing ‘stupid stuff’ and admitted that he had ‘nutted’ on the Olaf stuffed animal.”

Maybe someone should let the reporter know what "dry hump" means.
Hey, words ain't meaning anything nowadays, right?
Unless you want me to call you...
Wordist!
 

SteveC

Village Elder
V.I.P. Member
Joined
Apr 7, 2012
Messages
10,739
Reaction score
23,350
I guess Target doesn't have a pet section. Hamsters and small dogs >> Stuffed animals. :rofl:
 

dissaffected

Senior Member
Joined
Feb 1, 2015
Messages
1,452
Reaction score
2,552
I will never be able to grab a stuffed toy at a retail store again without wondering if someone has had their way with it. Thanks whatever your name is
 
Last edited:




Top