Overcoming past issues(bad childhood, etc) and getting your life together success stories?

sonar1

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Our kids were friends with a boy who was black, lived in charity housing with his sister, his father was in some VA hospital in LA (400miles away) .His brother is a malcontent punk.
Yet his young man was always polite and well mannered. We took him along on vacations. He never complained about anything.
As a youth he was a hard worker and very trustworthy. He paid his dues!

Today he has his own tile setting business, hobby cars, wife, kids, home, and still is a fine man to be around.

I, on the other hand, could not wait to get away from my family and joined the military as soon as possible!
There was NOTHING wrong with my family! I thought they were all just so painfully SQUARE!
The older I got, they smarter they got.
 
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Sct13

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I didn't have it "rough" per se.....My mom was a good mom and my dad tried (he was a hopeless alcoholic) and my mom stopped putting up with his BS whenl my sister was around 7 or 8 and they split....then my life really changed ....He taught me some good stuff....thanks mom and dad

But that wasn't the bad part....I had been molested by a neighbor since I was around 4-5 multiple times. I was manually accosted, and sexually groped. (in a department store by an older kid when I was 6 or 7.

Then later, more or less forced to engage in sexuall activity with a girl who was 17...( I was 12 or 13) Which wasn't a bad thing really....but I certainly wasn't ready for that and it combined with the past sort of screwed me up...I guess

I mentally blocked nearly all of it until I had a an epiphany when I was in my 30's ....It had been causing up until then, a real lack of self esteem, Self judging, depression, self loathing, and sometimes a feeling of not being real....I cut myself a few times...there was suicidal ideation....but no plan or attempt....

I never told anyone....

I was promiscuous as hell in the Army (who wasn't) and took stupid risks with my life ...a lot....I drank stupid amounts of alcohol....and did all the drugs (except shooting heroin)

But I was lucky and began self adjusting ...went to school, I'm a registered nurse now which is fulfilling, I have kids and grandkids....and I'm in a great marriage that is pretty normal....

there are a lot of people who have it way rougher....I'm very lucky to have what I do....

So a success story? I dunno ...I should have been a doctor really ....but I was too fuked up when I was younger to know what was the right thing to do....years of self destructive behavior ....time wasted...
 

judson

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Life is what you make it.

Experiences and more importantly how we deal with them define who we are. We have all, at one time or another, have been served a ration of shit. Folks deal with it differently.. Some keep putting one foot in front of another and get past it. Some seem to keep revisiting it like picking at an old wound. It will never heal if one continues to revisit it.

Move forward. Always move forward. All kinds of things out there to experience and to see. Why watch the same soap opera episode 7/24/365... Live forward.... All kinds of opportunities out there if one is aware enough to see them and NOT obsessed with the rear view mirror....

You only get one ride. Ride it with your hair on fire...
tao of edro



edro.
:lol::lol::lol:.....this 1,000000%

the past is gone... dont dwell on it, the only certain thing in the future is death......so before that moment

repeat the above..." ride it with your hair on fire!!!! "....

that is one quote i hope not to forget and live every moment with that in mind !....:hyper::rofl::rofl:
 
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MagneticTape

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These books literally changed my life, and I'm not one to say a thing like that.
How to stop worrying and start living - Dale Carnegie. Everyone should read this, not just people with anxiety challenges.
12 rules for life - Jordan B Peterson. Just read it, or at least watch his youtube videos. He's got hundreds of lectures online.

I won't whine about where I've been or brag about where I am, but I had a lot of challenges growing up for sure, step father, addiction, put on Rx drugs I shouldn't have been, rehab as a teen, moved out as soon as I could and spent 12 years figuring things out for myself the hard way, much of it un-learning what I was taught. But I also realize that my parents were doing the best they could, with the tools they were given. I'm not going into anything deeper than that but now at 46 and with 16 years of sobriety behind me, I have things well sorted and can honestly say that reading those 2 books is something everyone should do. The principles in them helped me more than I can say. I've probably got a few hundred people to read How to stop worrying and start living and it's rippled into people they know as well. It's pure gold. Tony Robbins is one I read for motivation once in a while, he will really get you pumped up to do something. And Jordan B Peterson is one of the greatest minds living. To soak in everything you can from him will empower you to rise above any challenges you have been holding onto since childhood.

Be accountable
Choose your influences, rather than letting outside forces choose and influence you
Direction is more important than location or circumstance
There is plenty of opportunity in every aspect of your life - personally, professionally, relationships, whatever. Have an 'abundance' mentality because there is an abundance of anything you could need or want, you just have to go get it.
If you make excuses and want to be a victim, you'll lead a miserable life and be 'right' to the bitter end.
Instead, realize everyone has hardships and challenges and excuses... don't use the excuse, be the person who has an excuse but doesn't use it.
 

Popeye

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Guys I have been reading all of your comments and quite honestly I am overwhelmed by how strong and how much progress all of you have made, it's inspiring actually!

Again, I can't express enough how much I appreciate all of your for opening up and talking so deeply , it is trutly awesome and I thank you all for sharing and bonding.

I am kind of bad at expressing myself, so I apologise if I am a bit bland but I really mean it, I was not expecting such nice conversations and that level openness.
 

Pop1655

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I got a paper route when I was 12 and have worked ever since. Bought a bankrupt business 32 years ago and we about killed ourselves to make it work. I always believed that if I worked my azz off and did what I was supposed to do everything would be OK.
2008 was a huge knock to that theory. After scratching back from that, 2020 has knocked us down again. We’re still standing though and still fighting the fight. I guess you just keep on fighting.

Takeaways from that have been humbling, but in a good way. I have a much clearer image of what I need to be happy. Many of the items on the old dream list have dropped off that list. A humble abode, reliable transportation and some free time are about all that remain on the wish list.

Recovering from this stupid second surgery has been even more humbling. My dream list now is really, really simple stuff. Ditch this stupid machine I’m hooked up to 24/7. Go for a walk. Go for a ride. Go back to work.

All of my hard lessons have pointed to simpler is better. Items on the old wish list won’t make me happy. I’ve got what I need and these days, it’s pretty clear I need to appreciate that and stick with it. Luckily, I’ve been blessed with a partner for 40 years who has pretty much always felt that way. As long as she’s happy, I’m good.
 

JTM45

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Acknowledge your fucked up past
Feel the hurt, Anger and pain
Move on in life and don’t repeat what was done to you

I think a lot of us can say we’ve had less than desirable childhoods at some point, broken bones from beatings, broken families because our parents were human and grew apart or were children themselves when they started families, broken hearts because one of them did the unimaginable, it happens to many and you’re never alone but always feel like you are.

Theres a lot more joy in moving forward than looking back, the memories pop up but the windshield of life is a lot bigger than the rear view mirror.

Always move forward and you’ll find many different levels of success
 
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ehb

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After my years of dealing with countless folks of different every damn thing pasts, I am convinced we ALL have the same insecurities/concerns/fears/etc....

It is ok to have your own opinion.
It is ok to think for yourself.
No, you don't have to go with consensus-think. That's usually what the hell THEY'RE doing most of the time.

Never could stand by when students would cop out to avoid 'shining'. Nothing pissed me off worse than cop outs.

Student: I can't think that quick...
- How the hell would you know? Your brain sits on its ass most of the time. You are no different than most anyone out there today. Kick the damn thing out of its cage and let it rip full bore. It is ok to think. Chances are the Buford next to you will happily let you think for him. If one is intimidated by you using your brain, so be it. Not your problem, theirs. They don't sign your check. Think and the rest will work itself out because you will be recognized by others that can think and move up to where you want to be.

Successful folks don't have a dimmer switch... Damn a dimmer, let it rip.... You don't have to be on 24/7, but when it's go time, let it rip full bore. That's winning....

Success has nada to do with $$$. Has everything to do with enjoying what you do.
 
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Pop1655

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Dear Penthouse....

Oh, wrong forum. Nevermind.
C’mon now Dave. It’s obvious you’re a fighter. It appears most of the rest here are too. It’s a good thing to have in common.
 

Pop1655

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Successful folks don't have a dimmer switch
It’s not a bicycle, it’s a tricycle. You can’t build up steam and then coast. Gotta pedal all the time.
 
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LtDave32

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C’mon now Dave. It’s obvious you’re a fighter. It appears most of the rest here are too. It’s a good thing to have in common.
It was a joke, pop. On myself, as if I were writing Penthouse. Not aimed at anyone but myself.
 

Pop1655

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It was a joke, pop. On myself, as if I were writing Penthouse. Not aimed at anyone but myself.
Hard to imagine that aimed at you, even if it’s you doing the aiming. You’re pretty much the epitome of fighter.
 
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ehb

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Hard to imagine that aimed at you, even if it’s you doing the aiming. You’re pretty much the epitome of fighter.
Dave's tender on the inside past all that rough exterior... Deep inside..... Way deep..... Waaaaaaaay deep...No, deeper than that.... Think Marianna Trench deep.... But it's there...a little round ball of tenderness...just deeeeeeep....



:cool2:
 

LtDave32

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Dear Penthouse;

Years ago as a child, I was at the JC Penny department store with my mother, near closing time. Imagine my surprise to find myself locked inside! Looking for a way out, I found myself wandering around ladies apparel. Everything dressed looked like an adult; smiling, beckoning with outstretched arms..
 


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