My mom hadn't heard me play guitar in 25 years...

180gROC

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 24, 2007
Messages
5,712
Reaction score
6,108
...until today. She cried.

I was confused at first. I wasn't trying to be particularly impressive. I was just noodling around after changing strings. I looked up, and she was all welled up.

When I was in first grade I started playing trumpet. The first couple years HAD to be hard on my parents. I remember trying to see how loud I could blow the damned thing. They only complained when I flirted with incessant. I got serious later, and played some big shows when I was still very young, but those first years... man...

I picked up electric guitar at 13. I remember my mom trying to swallow her negativity at the thought of another year or two of just starting out on a now much louder instrument. It wasn't like she was into Slayer and Exodus like I was. She suffered through it, again.

At 16 my parents broke up and both moved out of the house. I stayed behind and got emancipated. I lived in our family home by myself, had a job, went to school, and promptly moved my runaway girlfriend in. I got a gig with a band, and since I had no parents, we practiced in my living room. Kegger every Sat night, chick/chicks hanging out all the time. I was on top of the world.

But I digress. Mom walked in unexpectedly one Saturday night with 100 people in the house and backyard, a keg in the bathtub, nekkid teens in the hot tub, different drugs being consumed in different rooms, a full on quarters game playing out on her antique dining room table and me playing metal guitar with my mates in the living room. It was loud, and she was old. She knew it was a party pad, so that didn't shock her, but my guitar playing did.

Although I've always kept in touch with her, I've walked away from a lot of my family due to circumstances that arose from situations back in those days. I moved away from them all, but still see my mom every year or so. She came and visited today.

I had broken a string at practice yesterday, and had plans on stopping by and getting a pack on the way home from the train station. When we got back to the house we chatted while I changed them, going through my whole cleaning routine. When they were done and stretched I played a few of the funky "new string" riffs I play every time I change, and then started playing some blues. Nothing fancy... some minor seventh and ninth chords with some noodling and bending. Same dittys I play every string change.

I look up from it, and she is sitting on the sofa, mouth agape. Ok so the audience was captivated... :naughty:

That's when it hit me. The last time she saw me with a guitar in my hands I was a greasy long haired 16 year old kid drunk and on two hits of 4 way windowpane, playing metal.

Now I'll admit my mother is an over emotional person to begin with. It only took a switch to D minor, the saddest of all keys, to get her going. Next thing I knew, I was playing, and she was a snuffled up with her eyes getting puffy.

I asked her if she was gonna be ok, and she said that all these years she wrote off my being a serious musician like when I was a kid playing trumpet, based on the last time she saw me playing so long ago. She knew I still have a tendency to listen to the same music I did when I was a kid so she assumed that's what I played. She had no idea I had studied classical guitar or been in a blues band.

So I dropped her back off at the train station tonight, with a cd of some of my stuff she could relate to (most of it is still to heavy for her). We usually argue at some point during her visit, and didn't this time probably because I blindsided her and distracted her with my Les Paul. :hmm: It was a good visit. :dude:
 

The_Sentry

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 12, 2008
Messages
26,999
Reaction score
9,340
Awesome! I knew you were concerned about that. I'm glad you had a good visit with her!
 

180gROC

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 24, 2007
Messages
5,712
Reaction score
6,108
Awesome! I knew you were concerned about that. I'm glad you had a good visit with her!

Yeah I was worried. It tends to go South quick when she pushes some family issues.

Dude then my son comes over after dinner, and pretty much pulled the same thing on me as I did on her. He moved out a year ago, lugging the truckload of hand me down gear I had kicked down to him along with.

He's been woodshedding. He's ten times the player at 18 than a year ago when he bailed. I got goosebumps as he ran through things smooth that he was just learning when he was here. My mom had never seen him play at all.

Makes me feel better for hotrodding that strat for him like I did. Putting hand wound singles in a beater strat for a 17 year old kid was a gamble. He took that killer tone and ran with it!

kqzpx9l45d.jpg
 

a Mad Cow

Senior Member
Joined
Apr 7, 2010
Messages
3,823
Reaction score
2,078
strats ftw, glad to see music is touching your family and keeping the bonds tight.
 

Lyrica

Songwriting Machine
V.I.P. Member
Joined
Jan 21, 2008
Messages
13,086
Reaction score
40,169
i'm glad music brought you closer to your mom :) that is just awesome :)
 

firesgt911

Senior Member
Joined
Jan 24, 2010
Messages
3,072
Reaction score
2,744
Cool story! I got emancipated at 16 too and couldn't spend more than a few hours with my family without getting into a huge fight. Music was usually the one thing that could make us all shut up long enough to appreciate things.
 

coldsteal2

V.I.P. Member
Joined
Sep 6, 2007
Messages
37,070
Reaction score
14,457
i had a moment like that with my parents while i
was living with them while i was recovering after
i was medicaly discharged from the Army in late
91, i played my cassettes and records i had recorded
over the many years.
My parents were both welling up and stuned how good i
was as a musician. They had never really paid attention to
my years as a musician, to them my Brother was the (Rock Star)
and i was just the hard working son/dad. They were shocked
i had been a successful musician all those many years.

The last 10 years of thier lives we became very close,
anyway it was wonderful, and "I" learned a big lesson myself,
to keep an eye on what my kids were up to, and not to miss
whats going on in thier lives.

kind of made me wonder what they thought i was doing
for the last 25 years of my life.
 

mudfinger

Thanks for the memories.
V.I.P. Member
Joined
Jan 19, 2010
Messages
17,258
Reaction score
50,513
Great story. If you've always lived in Fair Oaks/Sactown area, I'd bet good money we've met at some point along the way, most likely one of those parties you used to have...ever own a silverface Twin, by any chance, like back in 1985 or so? :hmm:
 

180gROC

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 24, 2007
Messages
5,712
Reaction score
6,108
kind of made me wonder what they thought i was doing
for the last 25 years of my life.

You are right... It does make the priority stand out that I need to keep up with where me son is at, so we don't have the same moment between us in 25 years.

And that thought crossed my mind as well. "What did you think I was doing for the last 25 years?"

If you'd ask my grandparents, who grew up in the great depression, musical instruments are a frivolity and divert funds and attention away from serious matters of far more importance. I was scolded when I was a teen for spending $100 birthday money on a beater guitar. They gave me the money hoping I would save it not indulge "some damned hippie woodstock fantasy"
 

180gROC

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 24, 2007
Messages
5,712
Reaction score
6,108
Great story. If you've always lived in Fair Oaks/Sactown area, I'd bet good money we've met at some point along the way, most likely one of those parties you used to have...ever own a silverface Twin, by any chance, like back in 1985 or so? :hmm:

Actually those parties were down in the Bay Area. The house I grew up in was in San Pablo.

I wouldn't trade that situation back for the world. To be 16, own a car, have a job, live on my own in a huge party house with a kick ass backyard w/ pool and hot tub. My schoolwork suffered my junior year, but I picked it back up the next year and graduated on schedule.

Nobody in town scheduled a party on Saturday night. Everyone was at my place and everyone knew it. We had bands that went on to be major huge famous playing on our meager gear in my living room. Good times... :dude:
 

coldsteal2

V.I.P. Member
Joined
Sep 6, 2007
Messages
37,070
Reaction score
14,457
You are right... It does make the priority stand out that I need to keep up with where me son is at, so we don't have the same moment between us in 25 years.

And that thought crossed my mind as well. "What did you think I was doing for the last 25 years?"

If you'd ask my grandparents, who grew up in the great depression, musical instruments are a frivolity and divert funds and attention away from serious matters of far more importance. I was scolded when I was a teen for spending $100 birthday money on a beater guitar. They gave me the money hoping I would save it not indulge "some damned hippie woodstock fantasy"

Exactly!
Luckily with my oldest daughter we are very close and
i am "reminded" daily of where she is and what she is
doing. But my youngest daughter who is 22, she
doesnt really communicate with me any more, i have
to ask her mom what she is up to, I hope it doesnt take
here 25 years to come around. She is very quiet and
keeps to herself. I hope she desides to break the ice
soon before she just fades away
 

mudfinger

Thanks for the memories.
V.I.P. Member
Joined
Jan 19, 2010
Messages
17,258
Reaction score
50,513
Actually those parties were down in the Bay Area. The house I grew up in was in San Pablo.

I wouldn't trade that situation back for the world. To be 16, own a car, have a job, live on my own in a huge party house with a kick ass backyard w/ pool and hot tub. My schoolwork suffered my junior year, but I picked it back up the next year and graduated on schedule.

Nobody in town scheduled a party on Saturday night. Everyone was at my place and everyone knew it. We had bands that went on to be major huge famous playing on our meager gear in my living room. Good times... :dude:

Whew. That was about to get very, very strange. :laugh2: I knew 2 guys up in Sacto that were in the same boat as you, and they were the go-to pads for all manner of youthful stupidity/fun!

Musta been beyond nice to get that kinda feedback from yer ma. :thumb:
 

180gROC

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 24, 2007
Messages
5,712
Reaction score
6,108
Whew. That was about to get very, very strange. :laugh2: I knew 2 guys up in Sacto that were in the same boat as you, and they were the go-to pads for all manner of youthful stupidity/fun!
:thumb:

There's been a couple times in the last ten years that I met somebody over a random golf pairing, or on a trout stream fishing 100 miles from where I grew up where we would get to talking, find out we were from the same area, and eventually he would mention these kick ass parties that used to go down every Saturday back in the day. Gorgeous house, lot's of girls and beer, and all the biggest local bands mixing and matching for random jam sessions.

Yeah, that was me... lol!
 

180gROC

Senior Member
Joined
Dec 24, 2007
Messages
5,712
Reaction score
6,108
I hope she desides to break the ice
soon before she just fades away

They come back. I didn't speak to my dad for nearly 15 years before we got back on the same page. Don't fret if it's not so soon, just keep up best you can without showing any stress over it, would be my humble suggestion.
 

Latest Threads



Top