My landscapers are a hostile entity

PapaSquash

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Just got back in from mowing a half acre with a walk behind self-propelled*. 88 degrees. Sun, a little exercise, and the set list for next weekend on the headphones. When I break out the two-stroke weed trimmer it's like I'm 19 again.

*John Deere 14SB. Perhaps the best residential grass-cutting machine ever made.
 

rabidhamster

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Maybe it’s not about changing lawn guys or removing the gravel that’s there now at all.

Maybe you just need a lot more gravel. Maybe a cactus or two.
 

LtDave32

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Are they flinging gravel towards you?

Make a slingshot. Fling it back.
 

LP121

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I hate doing yard work. Maybe when I'm retired it'll be different, but now it's just another chore that needs doing.

The layout and contour of my yard prevent using a rider and doing a good job, so I use a self propelled pusher.
 

mdubya

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Are they flinging gravel towards you?

Make a slingshot. Fling it back.
I never said gravel. Debris. They bottom out the blade and spray dirt and roots and such. And what ever leaves and stringy pollen junk has fallen from the trees.

In the back, I guess it is twigs and stems in the lawn that they spray the back outside wall and back door with.

They come through and blow everything clean, but I still don't like the plastering and pelting. As Pop said, they don't care. And we are lucky they show up at all. :oops:

Just leave my cars alone. :hyper: :(
 

mdubya

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FWIW - I never see kids with a mower around here any more. I am not sure it is even a thing these days.

Maybe they got the Pauly Walnuts treatment?


I mean, most 17 year olds aren't even allowed out of their own yard or allowed to cross the street by themselves these days. WTF.

What I was getting up to at 17 cannot be published on a family friendly forum. :thumb:

:hippie::cheers2::cheers::beer:

Y sexo sin amore. o_O
 

Olds442

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i don't understand having a porsche and no garage, you're doing it wrong.
 

Roxy13

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All this talk of lawn mowing and bushes brings me to back to my first real life bush sighting. I was 11 and cut the grass of several people in the neighborhood. One was a rather " Rubenesque" housewife that lived a couple of doors down. Once I went to collect my 5 bucks for cutting her front yard and she answered the door in only a t-shirt. Her shirt wasn't long enough to cover everything and the bottom half of her 1970's bush was showing. It was blonde and huge and glorious! She noticed me staring and looked down and then just smirked at me and let me look at it for a few minutes. She never did it again but believe me her yard got a lot of special attention after that. I still remember that like it was yesterday. Thank you Mrs. Holley, wherever you are...
Are you sure she wasn't a pedo? Who the hell answers the door like that, especially to a kid?

Oh, kids don't work anymore and that includes mowing the lawn. The house next to me had a teenage son and he sat inside all day in the AC playing video games or with himself. Dad came home from work and mowed the lawn.

My dad had me mowing ours from the time I was 10.
 

mdubya

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i don't understand having a porsche and no garage, you're doing it wrong.
I have a garage. Just not at this house.

I am stuck with the current primary residence for the near future.

The car would be fine if it weren't for the landscapers. They really just get it dirty when it is otherwise spotless.

I did post that my next move (in this area) would be to a condo with a garage. That time will come.
 

Stinky Kitty

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I feel your pain. A "helpful neighbor" was using his rider to cut my front lawn. It's barely big enough to turn that thing around in. He was typically into his cups. Each time he made the outer pass, he'd bash the '84 Cadillac Biaritz that I inherited from my father. "Oh that'll buff right out.." Bullshit, now gt offfa my lawn! He did let me borrow his buffer for a weekend after the third time he creamed into it while I was watching. No More.

As much as I dislike doing it, there is a certain satisfaction in looking at it right after finishing. I just got in from doing it today before the heat sets in here..
 

Olds442

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I have a garage. Just not at this house.

I am stuck with the current primary residence for the near future.

The car would be fine if it weren't for the landscapers. They really just get it dirty when it is otherwise spotless.

I did post that my next move (in this area) would be to a condo with a garage. That time will come.
so you have multiple houses and still the car sits out! rage....

i hope you realize i am just fucking with you. really nice suv, i'm envious. :cheers2:
 

mgenet

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OK, back from a bike ride to/from Ocean City, showered, fed, medicated and relaxing. I read the OP. I read many of the responses to the OP.

For the ones who say "fire the cocksuckers!" - I say, "Yes. Fire the cocksuckers!!!" Not only because they sprayed debris all over your cars and your house (more on this later), but because they did it repeatedly, even after you asked/requested/demanded/insisted that they not do it again.

Fuck them. And, fuck their dogs! Fire them.

Make absolutely sure that the replacement peasants completely understand that a similar fate awaits them, should they mimic the actions of the former untouchables. Use pictures and drawings. Sometimes, that helps the stupid better understand the point that you are trying to make. Use small words, too. Don't confuse, or scare them.

Tell them that you will deduct your costs for damage, cleanup, and inconvenience from any payments that may be due them, for every occurrence.

Failing that, you have but two options:

1. Cut the lawn yourself (yea, i know "lotta grass" and I'm old - oh well).
2. Let it go. They'll cut your lawn and you'll clean up the mess.


Now, back to the debris and stones...

Hire someone to do it, or spend a weekend ridding you lawn of debris and stones. It's not really the lawn-cutters fault if they are spewing stuff that's on/in the lawn they are cutting.

Stone driveways fall into the category of: tell them no, then fire them, or Option #2.

But, it might be a good idea to clean up your yard, and pave your driveway.
Did we just witnees a real Dr. Jeckel and Mr Hyde?
 

K.O.M.A.

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Are you sure she wasn't a pedo? Who the hell answers the door like that, especially to a kid?

Oh, kids don't work anymore and that includes mowing the lawn. The house next to me had a teenage son and he sat inside all day in the AC playing video games or with himself. Dad came home from work and mowed the lawn.

My dad had me mowing ours from the time I was 10.
No.pedo..i don't think so anyway.. I've thought about her a lot over the years. I think she was just bored and amused at my reaction. I wasn't subtle, my eyes were probably popping out of my head. I went back many times and she never did it again. Of course I was a dumbass kid and told all the guys in the neighborhood about it. I had to describe it in great detail to everyone over and over. She probably had boys knocking on her door to cut the grass every day
 

Roxy13

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No.pedo..i don't think so anyway.. I've thought about her a lot over the years. I think she was just bored and amused at my reaction. I wasn't subtle, my eyes were probably popping out of my head. I went back many times and she never did it again. Of course I was a dumbass kid and told all the guys in the neighborhood about it. I had to describe it in great detail to everyone over and over. She probably had boys knocking on her door to cut the grass every day
When women do this to boys everyone laughs it off (or yeah, the boy things it's awesome), but think about this. What if this was your daughter and your male neighbor answered the door to her without his pants on?

You'd want to kill him!
 

K.O.M.A.

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When women do this to boys everyone laughs it off (or yeah, the boy things it's awesome), but think about this. What if this was your daughter and your male neighbor answered the door to her without his pants on?

You'd want to kill him!
Of course I would. And for the record I think women screwing young boys should get the same treatment as men.
 

mdubya

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Mow and blow, indeed.

Was outside soaking in the record heat and enjoying the peace and quiet and admiring how spotlessly clean my car is, for a quick work break.

Back inside, 10 minutes later, I hear the assault begin.

I had to just about lay down in front of the mower (same guy, every week) to get him to stop as he barreled along towards both cars, ready to make a hard turn and spray both at close range with fresh clippings.

He shut the mower down and I explained that I would move both cars. He nodded. Not the first time I have had that conversation with that particular guy. He is nice as can be, just a kid, really.

I thanked him for waiting and gave the thumbs up. 15 minutes later, they are done and on to the next.

Now, about those homeowners spraying grass into traffic along the road side... :mad2::wtf:

:rofl:
 

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