My family vent thread

[kmk108]

Sorry, but I need to vent

I moved back home while I was going to my local community college until I could get back into Kansas University. My sister and her family moved back into my parent's house because they couldn't afford to pay for a place to stay while my niece went through chemo and recovering from brain cancer. It'd be fine, but my sister has absolutely NO common sense. She thinks nothing of things that would make people say "WTF is wrong with her!?

I was counting down the days until I could move out once again and get out of that toxic house. My mom started getting really annoyed with them living at home and started "pushing" them out. They are moving out soon.

My parents came to me and asked if I would stay at home and drive the 30 minutes to Lawrence to go to class and live at their house while they're in China for my dad's work. I was planning on getting a job and taking out a loan for a newer car, and my parents offered to pay for it if I stayed at home. SWEET. No sister's family, a new car, and no rent to pay.

As I walk in the door tonight, my sister asks if I can pick up my nephew from school 2 times a week until they move out because they can't afford to pay full time day-care for after school. I thought "ok, that's like what? 2 weeks until they move out? sure." Then she tells me that they're not moving out until December 5th! First, it was mid-October, then it was November 13th, and now December 5th. I agreed to stay at home on the pretense that they would be gone, and I will be completely pissed off if they're not gone by next semester.

I can't stand them anymore and I can't even enjoy being at home. I go to class, and when I come home, I lock myself in my room to avoid contact with my nephew. He's family and I love him, but DAMN, there isn't a day where I just feel like snapping. He wants to fight me ALL THE TIME. Every time I see him, he's punching me and trying to climb on me. Discipline doesn't work with this kid, because his parents aren't good at that. If he's not beating on me, he's telling me he's going to beat me because I'm a wussy. This is a 5 year old kid talking like this. I wish I could be the fun-loving uncle, but I feel like I'm the one disciplining him all the time.

If anyone actually read that any suggestions on what to do with this kid until they finally move out?

Until then, I'm going to pop the top off of a few beers and enjoy my time locked in my own room

 

[Drew224]

I understand your situation. I live with psychos myself... Except it's full time. Just find a way to survive however long you have to.

 

[Nightrain]

Scare the kid somehow. I had a nephew just like that, would never leave me alone, and I'd never fight back for fear of hurting him. One day he wouldn't quit, and he knew I was getting annoyed. So I pushed him across the room and grabbed him by the collar of his shirt and told him to stop or It'd be his neck I was holding next time. I'd never actually do that, but some kids just need to be scared. He didn't speak to me for a month or so, but it sure cured the problem. He was 14 at the time so old enough for that particular lesson I think. I was 17. I mentioned to my sister before hand that I was getting pissed with it and would retaliate the next time.

(Yeah I know, young uncle. I'm 19 and my sisters 36. I have 3 nephews and 1 niece, or, 4 pains in the ass. )

Anyways, make sure your sisters cool with it if you do what I did.

 

[Hizzy]

Your not going to like my suggestion. It seems like your sister's family has been through some really tough times, so I would cut them a bit of slack. The best thing you could do is keep being the main good influence on your nephew and provide him with some discipline by just repeating you don't want to be hit. He's only 5 and your the adult. Good luck.

 

[bildozr]

At least you're living free.
My brother is the same way. We have a huge age difference. I don't tolerate nonsense very well. I'm trying to become more patient.

I paid the deposit on my Apartment in Tennessee though. Boy am I excited.

 

[JMV]

Remember it's not the kid's fault he's been shown it's perfectly fine to act the way he is.

Positive reinforcement for good behavior. Find a suitable punishment, which depends on the child, and FOLLOW THROUGH with punishment. i.e. "If you hit me, you will sit in time out for 5 minutes".

Best of luck, mate. Sounds like a frustrating situation.

 

[Smoke]

Chain the dude to a radiator.......oh ....get him an electric guitar or toy like the fire x to play with.

 

[vintageJIM]

sounds like the family from Hell

I had four nieces that I helped to baby sit from time to time, and that is four reasons (of many others) that I decided not to have kids

all I can say is just suck it up until they're the 'F' outta Dodge ................

 

[kmk108]

I know they've been through a lot and ill help them. Its just that my nephew is a massive handful. I've been around kids that weren't nearly as annoying him. Good suggestions...well some I know nothing is terribly bad like some families, I just feel like he relies on me more than he should, while calling me names and picking on me. I need to discipline him so he doesn't turn into an adolescent bully. He really is a bully to kids his age.

I sent my mom an email saying pretty much what I said here. I should have known she would say something to them. I see a shitstorm over the horizon...

 

[LongBeach]

And there it is. If your going to have to spend time with him, take the time & give him some direction. IMO - they hear more than you think.

 

[RainbowPunk]

SPARTA!-kick him right in the chest down the stairs. That'll learn him!

One thing to remember when disciplining kids: Much like revenge, discipline is best served cold...

 

[Username1]

That blows man, sorry. My good friend has really young sisters they are twins and they are 8. She takes care of them most often since her father died and her mom is not capable. I try and take care of them whenever I'm around (even though i cannot stand children) since they were about 5. They are always loud and climb all over me, and if i ever play their piano, they kick me off in the middle of playing strawberry fields to play random notes. They're sweet kids but damn are they annoying. No discipline what so ever. When i was 8 my dad would have kicked my ass if i wasn't polite and quiet. And I'm only in my 20's it amazes me how kids are being raised, even going back to my generation.

 

[ext1jdh]

Rum

 

[PapaSquash]

You have to give the kid something that you can take away. You can't take away necessities like food and heat, and you can't beat him up. There has to be something "extra" that you control, that he wants, that you can take away as a consequence for bad behavior. Play time, a movie, use of a toy, a special food, teaching him something he likes, whatever positive good you can find that he wants.

It's hard to do something more for a kid like this, but it's better to have a positive thing that he wants (and gets used to) and will lose, rather than the threat of a negative thing, if his behavior gets out of hand.

Then hold him to it. Don't waver, and don't accept the unacceptable. He'll figure it out.

 

[kmk108]

Jägermeister

fixed.

Thanks guys. Instead of just venting, I've gotten good ideas. The initial shock of them not moving out soon has worn off and now I'm just marking that day instead of the 13th.

I guess I shouldn't complain too much. My mom has put up with them for over a year now.

 

[crankyrayhanky]

Dude: you suck

Your sister is probably going through the worst time- having her child suffer through chemo, and you're bitching about helping out by picking up a kid at school 2x a week? As you live rent free, awarded a free car- and you can't happily offer help to other family memebrs who clearly need your help? I'm sure your sister is no picnic, but the self centered entitlement is oozing from you. Leave your petty concerns and drama out of your family, they have better things to do then make sure your comfortable

 

[tazzboy]

I would tell your sister that if she doesn't get her son attitude under control on stop picking on you that you will no longer pickup up from school that he will either take the bus home or walk or do both.

 

[Smoke]

Dude: you suck

Your sister is probably going through the worst time- having her child suffer through chemo, and you're bitching about helping out by picking up a kid at school 2x a week? As you live rent free, awarded a free car- and you can't happily offer help to other family memebrs who clearly need your help? I'm sure your sister is no picnic, but the self centered entitlement is oozing from you. Leave your petty concerns and drama out of your family, they have better things to do then make sure your comfortable

Your Soundclick is some good stuff. I plsyed two of your Blueblood Monkey Project songs and on the second one.......I would like to hear it louder in my big block Corvette on the interstate.........

Oh and whatever about this guys domestic strife....

 

[kmk108]

Dude: you suck

Your sister is probably going through the worst time- having her child suffer through chemo, and you're bitching about helping out by picking up a kid at school 2x a week? As you live rent free, awarded a free car- and you can't happily offer help to other family memebrs who clearly need your help? I'm sure your sister is no picnic, but the self centered entitlement is oozing from you. Leave your petty concerns and drama out of your family, they have better things to do then make sure your comfortable

You have no idea what my sister is like. I wouldn't have taken the offer for the car if I had to live with her. That may seem crazy, but anyone that's been around her for an extended period of time would do the same. Ever since I can remember, she's been a pain in the side of the entire family. I'm not the only one that feels like this. My entire family does.

She's a lazy ass. While HER KID is downstairs, being with me, she's upstairs locked in her room doing quizzes on Facebook. She hasn't had a job for a long time because of her daughter going through all she has and I understand that, but there's been no reason for her to be as lazy as she's been after her daughter went through all of that. She pawns off her children to be watched by my mom and I while she spends the entire day up in her room doing god knows what. And if we're not home, she always sat him in front of the TV to watch cartoons all day while she was on the computer. If it weren't for the nurse that comes and takes care of her daughter every day, she wouldn't have done all the great things she's done since recovering. Poor girl doesn't stand a chance if things stay the way they do. My sister needs to realize what it means to be a mom and that what she's doing isn't enough.

I'm happy that she's gotten a job and that's why I agreed to help them out. It's not like I'm saying "NO I DON'T WANT TO!" Everyone has to do things we don't want to and this is one of them. It's not picking him up that I'm frustrated over, it's her lack of time given to her own children. My nephew would rather spend time with my mom or I, not because we're more fun, but because we actually pay attention to him. She loves having her kids when she gets to show them off and say "I'm mature because I have kids", but god forbid she has to actually care for them.

Not to mention that whenever I watch the kids, she ALWAYS takes longer than she's supposed to. I'm supposed to babysit for an hour? better clear 4 hours. It never fails. She's the most unreliable, irresponsible person I've ever known. She's put through our entire family through enough drama to cover multiple people. I don't think she realize how much she's affected her children with her bullshit, but I'm starting to see it.

It's not my nephew's fault he's the way he is. He fights and wrestles with all his friends. That's how they play, but he needs to know that's not how I play. He has a pissy attitude and talks back to everyone because he's never been disciplined for it. It's not my job to raise her kids for her, but it's gotten to the point where I have to guide him because they won't themselves. I picked him up from school and watched him one day for a couple of hours. He didn't beat on my too much and he didn't have a crappy attitude and it was nice being able to be uncle to him. Too bad it doesn't happen more often.

 

[RainbowPunk]

Dude: you suck

Your sister is probably going through the worst time- having her child suffer through chemo, and you're bitching about helping out by picking up a kid at school 2x a week? As you live rent free, awarded a free car- and you can't happily offer help to other family memebrs who clearly need your help? I'm sure your sister is no picnic, but the self centered entitlement is oozing from you. Leave your petty concerns and drama out of your family, they have better things to do then make sure your comfortable

You realize he's venting, right? People in need can still piss off the person helping (In my experience, it happens often). Family members are especially good at this. I think that's a good attempt at trying to leave the drama out of his family.

Otherwise he might explode at them all over a bowl of cereal or something else minor like that and come off looking like a selfish psycho to his family.