More Holiday BS this year, but with a slightly silver lining, albeit a bit tarnished

[Blues4U]

As a result of addiction.....???

I forgot to state that my daughter has a job where random, but frequent drug and alcohol testing is required. She has never failed a test to date.

Here is the weird, and scary part. My daughter's job is a caregiver for adult, mildly mentally challenged individuals. This is what has always driven me nuts about this kid. She can control her bullshit when she wants to. By all accounts, he bosses love her and the families of her customers love her. She gets rave reviews and I have seen her with these people she cares for, she does a really good job with them, THEN, she will leave her child in a shitty diaper or leave him with douche bags etc--- Makes absolutely zero sense to me.

 

[Blues4U]

On a better note.

My grandson turned 1 today.

He had a great day and a little party with my wife and I and his father and his family.

 

[mr_mer]

Blue, Although I do not have a grandson "complication", we have a similar situation with our youngest. I do know the anguish you are in, and it is the kind of thing I only wish on those who I really do not care for. If you ever need to chat, just let me know. Support is available.

 

[Chilli]

Thats a bit of a situation Blues4U, I think one day she will realise how lucky she is.

 

[truckermde]

Sounds like you're a good guy, Blues. Sorry 'bout the drama, but I'm glad for your grandson that you guys are teaming up to put the baby first.


It's so sad to think of all the children out there in similar situations, with no real advocate. Thanks for sharing your experiences, and setting a good example.

 

[Blues4U]

Thats a bit of a situation Blues4U, I think one day she will realise how lucky she is.

Chilli,

I am sorry to say that I doubt my daughter will ever totally grasp the gravity of this entire ordeal. So is the hell that is mental illness. Our normal is her abnormal and her normal is our bizarre.

My daughter sees nothing wrong with the way she has attempted to raise our grandson for the past year. In fact, when you try to discuss it or explain why her actions are harmful, it is met with contempt.

I truly meant what I said in one thread a long while ago. I would give up all Earthly possessions for all 3 of my children being healthy and well, both in body and mind.

 

[So What]

Good for you man.

I don't know how you deal with the stress.

I have a son who may be bi-polar, but is unstable at a minimum.

Between dealing with him, and trying to keep my own business from going under, I feel very overwhelmed at times.

I couldn't imagine having a baby thrown into the mix.

Good luck.

.

 

[HenryHill]

The diagnoses seem to be a new development; I don't recall that from the previous threads.

That seems a big improvement in knowing what you are dealing with and perhaps how to manage it some.

Educating yourself in the finer points of those diagnoses, and then in strategies in how to best interact would be very helpful.

 

[Blues4U]

The diagnoses seem to be a new development; I don't recall that from the previous threads.

That seems a big improvement in knowing what you are dealing with and perhaps how to manage it some.

Educating yourself in the finer points of those diagnoses, and then in strategies in how to best interact would be very helpful.

These are old diagnosis. TheBi Polar was pretty solid from a couple docs. They just steered away from labeling her as such when she was younger. A Bi Polar stamp on your record pretty much ensures no meaningful employment for life

The other two are terms that have been bandied around for ages as well. The oppositional Defiant Disorder is a pretty sure thing as well.

The borderline personality is what they call people like this when they have no freaking clue what else to call them.

The Bi Polar sucks and her manic state in the fall is alway horrendous. You learn to hate late Aug through Oct as you know somewhere during these months your child is going to go full blown nuke at some point. Sept is alway the worst. It's also when my wife and I celebrate our anniversary and my mom and wife celebrate their birthdays.

 

[HenryHill]

These are old diagnosis. TheBi Polar was pretty solid from a couple docs. They just steered away from labeling her as such when she was younger. A Bi Polar stamp on your record pretty much ensures no meaningful employment for life

The other two are terms that have been bandied around for ages as well. The oppositional Defiant Disorder is a pretty sure thing as well.

The borderline personality is what they call people like this when they have no freaking clue what else to call them.

The Bi Polar sucks and her manic state in the fall is alway horrendous. You learn to hate late Aug through Oct as you know somewhere during these months your child is going to go full blown nuke at some point. Sept is alway the worst. It's also when my wife and I celebrate our anniversary and my mom and wife celebrate their birthdays.

Could SADS also be a component?

That is directly treatable at least.

 

[Blues4U]

Could SADS also be a component?

That is directly treatable at least.

It is much more acute than SADS. She is pretty much full blown manic a couple times through Late August through OCT. This year, it went deep into November, which is a little scary for me as I never remember her fall episodes going this late, which makes me think the condition is evolving/worsening.

Hell, I probably have SADS, except its a late winter/early spring thing for me-- I cured the condition by taking up Steelhead fishing. Now I look forward to late winter, early spring

 

[Blues4U]

Well, my wife and I have spent the past few hours documenting all of the negative/neglectful/unsafe/improper examples of our daughter's parenting style, or lack thereof we have witnessed since the first week of October. I know this sounds like some sort of evil plot, but it is what we have been instructed to do in order to fully describe what has and what is going on.

Imagine sitting down with the goal of thinking/recalling all of the bad/stupid and at times, evil stuff one of your kids has done.

What's worse, I can't hardly think of one, maybe two positives that I have witnessed first hand since August.

I really hope there is a way to help my daughter get the help she needs and also a mechanism to be discovered that will ensure that she follows through with all prescribed treatment.

Honestly, I have known from the moment I found out my oldest daughter was pregnant that this is where we would end up. I have also come to grips with the hard fact that we, in all likelihood will raise our grandson to adulthood. Truthfully, I don't have a problem with that, I just think its a bad hand this little guy has been dealt and eventually he will be asking questions about why his mommy isn't the one raising him.