Millenials are Killing the $20,000 Guitar Industry

rxbandit

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This is gonna be a fun one :D From one of my favorite sites

https://thehardtimes.net/hardstyle/how-millenials-and-literally-everyone-else-on-ebay-are-killing-the-20000-custom-shop-jimmy-page-aged-sunburst-2009-mint-condition-industry/

"Back in my day, people valued hard work. I fought tooth and claw to become VP at my father’s coal company at the age of 22. It took literally months on the workforce before I got my first 5-figure bonus. It was around this time I started collecting guitars. Jimi Hendrix reverse-headstock Stratocasters, B.B. King “Lucille” ES-355s, and Keith Richards-inspired Custom Teles line the walls of my gated-community McMansion.


But nowadays I look around and all I see are lazy millennials working 90-hour minimum-wage workweeks and driving Lyft until 3am to buy $400 Jazzmasters for their bullshit emo revival bands. I’m starting to suspect that none of them have ever even heard of Stevie Ray Vaughan.


I digress. Turns out, “COAL IS THE FUTURE!” is just something my dad would shout during his night terrors; United Coal & Fuel is dying faster than our canaries. And I need some cash fast. Two of my Triumph motorcycles are in the shop, and these button-up short-sleeve flame shirts aren’t going to dry clean themselves.

I need to sell the crown jewel of my collection: a AAAA flamed maple-top aged Gibson Custom Shop Jimmy Page Aged Sunburst 2009 Les Paul Historic VOS in mint condition. Try saying that three times fast, you single-coil indie bitch. This thing RIPS. I assume. I’ve never taken it off the wall. It’s better than having a giant dick (which in some remote cultures, I am considered to have).

$20,000 is a small price to pay to sound and look like one of rock’s great riff machines. It will only be a matter of time before you too start dating a 13-year-old and get knighted by the motherfuckin’ Queen of England.

But none of you fuckers are biting. I’m relisting this on eBay for 4th time this year, and I’ve come down to a BARGAIN $20,000. Overpriced Gibson guitars are one of America’s last great manufacturing success stories. And it’s dying. Gibson almost bit the dust this year. Could they right the ship by acknowledging the afforable SG as the staple guitar of punk for the past 30 years? And could they try marketing towards the poors and the under-50 crowd? Sure. But will they? Never. Not as long as almighty Slash somehow continues to breath and endorse lime-green Les Paul monstrosities.

So do your part. Buy my guitar on eBay. Save America. Maybe Tricia will stop sleeping at her sister’s house and come home to me.

Hell, maybe I’ll use some of the money to actually learn how to play guitar."
 

redjunior

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And that's when the fight started....



Love The Hard Times...:laugh2:
 

Tone deaf

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I bet everybody else at the company agreed that he had worked his ass off to become a VP...
 

SteveGangi

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I fought tooth and claw to become VP at my father’s coal company at the age of 22. It took literally months on the workforce before I got my first 5-figure bonus. … But nowadays I look around and all I see are lazy millennials working 90-hour minimum-wage workweeks and driving Lyft until 3am to buy $400 Jazzmasters for their bullshit emo revival bands. … I’m relisting this on eBay for 4th time this year, and I’ve come down to a BARGAIN $20,000. Overpriced Gibson guitars are one of America’s last great manufacturing success stories. And it’s dying. … Save America. Maybe Tricia will stop sleeping at her sister’s house and come home to me.

Hell, maybe I’ll use some of the money to actually learn how to play guitar."


That was great! :applause:
 

artis_xe

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:lol:

I have no idea why that made me laugh out loud but it did.
this many years later , people are still trying to revive the idea of coal as an energy source . besides any reason that could justify this . . .

the NE region of Pennsylvania that we moved to , just tore down one of the last breakers in the region , a few years ago . large coal piles are everywhere in this , and the surrounding counties . not even sure if it's legal to burn anymore

so if they did revive it . they would start building breakers again ? moving that black rock in train carts ? #peoplebedreaming :laugh2:
 

Bill Hicklin

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Wait beside most any railroad track here in Va, and before long you'll see a 4- or 5-engine train with a mile-long consist of hopper cars full of black rock go rumbling by.
 

LP121

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this many years later , people are still trying to revive the idea of coal as an energy source . besides any reason that could justify this . . .

the NE region of Pennsylvania that we moved to , just tore down one of the last breakers in the region , a few years ago . large coal piles are everywhere in this , and the surrounding counties . not even sure if it's legal to burn anymore

so if they did revive it . they would start building breakers again ? moving that black rock in train carts ? #peoplebedreaming :laugh2:
Wait beside most any railroad track here in Va, and before long you'll see a 4- or 5-engine train with a mile-long consist of hopper cars full of black rock go rumbling by.
My company hauls hundreds of thousands of tons of that black rock every month.
 


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