might have found my dad after 38 years.

JMV

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after doing some more checking it looks like i have 2 half sisters and a half brother. i am waiting for a reply from the eldest daughter, as i have emailed her as well as my dad. hopefully someone will reply.

Good for you for taking the leap. I can only imagine if somewhere along the line he was looking to contact you, that would have been quite an intimidating thought.

Not the same at all, but I spent most of my life not knowing my grandfather. I knew he cheated on my grandmother (who past away long before I was born) and married the mistress right after she died. That's all I really knew about him until this past year. His wife (the former mistress) past away and he decided to contact me to see if I would be interested and/or able to do the funeral service (as I'm a minister and he had no connections with any local churches). It was bizarre to be sure, but I decided to make the trek out to California to be there for him in ways he was never there for me or my mother. Overall, it was a great experience and wonderful to connect with a part of the family I knew next to nothing about. It was like coming home.

I hope this ends up being a similar experience for you, Mob. People do change, and if nothing else you will know you tried. :thumb:
 

Thumpalumpacus

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i live in a different country, 3000 miles away now.
and as far as the guy possibly being a douchebag, i am pretty sure that will be the case. i wouldnt be contacting him for his sake, it would be purely for me.

In that case, find peace in yourself and leave him out of it, if you'll forgive my putting in so. What do you anticipate getting out of it?

If you must contact him at all, drop an e-mail and leave it alone. He will respond or he won't; either way you have your answer.

But me, I wouldn't bother trying to hit up someone I reckoned to be a loser. At least, not anymore.
 

mobprop667

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now all i can do is wait and hope that i will get a reply. hopefully they will not think i am some nutbag trying something shifty. in the email to my dad, i mentioned something that only we would know if he remembers, so hopefully that will prove that i am legit.
 

Nightrain

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Personally I'd have turned up at his company, just for the look on his face, after finding out for sure of course.

Hope you hear back Mob. I'd be really surprised if your half sister doesn't reply.
 

Daniel

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People have brought up douche bag syndrome here but I'm going to offer you an alternative theory...

If he's isn't a total douche he will probably feel like one none the less for splitting on his kids...The guy may be just as at a loss as you... What the hell do you say?

Any way good luck however it turns out.
 

Udonitron

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In that case, find peace in yourself and leave him out of it, if you'll forgive my putting in so. What do you anticipate getting out of it?

If you must contact him at all, drop an e-mail and leave it alone. He will respond or he won't; either way you have your answer.

But me, I wouldn't bother trying to hit up someone I reckoned to be a loser. At least, not anymore.

Yes but life is about outward compassion and giving others the benefit of the doubt.
People can change and we all make mistakes, regardless of the severity as such.
 

Drew224

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Best of luck, however it goes, Mob.
 

tazzboy

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I would say give him a call. Worse case he doesn't want to talk to you and tells you off and that's all. Best case he shock and you two will probably reunite and have a good conversation.
 

LongBeach

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Wow! Got interesting quick. Hope everything goes your way:thumb:
 

Thumpalumpacus

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Yes but life is about outward compassion and giving others the benefit of the doubt.
People can change and we all make mistakes, regardless of the severity as such.

Certainly. However, my response is colored by my experience, and is no less valid, even if it is a little harsher. The possibility exists that he hasn't changed, and if there's one thing worse than having your dad leave you hanging once, it's having him repeat the trick.

Being a father myself, I personally think ill of a man who abandons his children, is all. That's just my opinion, and nothing more.

etra: And yes, best of luck, Mob --
 

Skintaster

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Best of luck. I hope it all works out well for you.
 

PraXis

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I really hope everything works out in the best way. I've been blessed with a huge family on both sides of my mom and dad. The only downside is that one half is entirely in Europe, so we don't see each other often. I would wish a big family on anyone.
 

Udonitron

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Certainly. However, my response is colored by my experience, and is no less valid, even if it is a little harsher. The possibility exists that he hasn't changed, and if there's one thing worse than having your dad leave you hanging once, it's having him repeat the trick.

Being a father myself, I personally think ill of a man who abandons his children, is all. That's just my opinion, and nothing more.

etra: And yes, best of luck, Mob --

Totally understandable but the compassion you wish to instil in your children has to be unbiased and thus you must yourself feel the same in order to teach it.
Just a statement, not telling you what to do mate lol :)
I know what you are saying 100%
 

mobprop667

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UPDATE: i sent a message to the woman that i believe is my half sister on facebook. although she didnt reply to my message, she added me as a friend. this i see is a start. at least there might be some acknowledgement that i may be a family member. i will update you all as i get more info.
 

Matt_21

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Best of luck. Hope all turns out for the best.
 

mobprop667

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i am speaking with my half sister on facebook now. i just found out that my niece, her daughter was born on the same day as my brother and me. this is a very strange feeling, but also very cool.
 

Chilli

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Great thread Mob, thanks for sharing such a personal thing with us.
 

mobprop667

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after speaking with my half sister on facebook, it is 100 percent certain that we are related. there is no doubt now. hopefully we will be keeping in touch, as she seems really nice. she has answered a lot of questions, and has pointed me in the direction of some possible pictures of my dad. this has been an amazing 24 hours. now i am off to make contact with my other brother and sister.
 

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