MIAMI STRIPPER ARRESTED FOR SQUIRTING POLICE OFFICERS

[Deftone]

MIAMI STRIPPER ARRESTED FOR SQUIRTING VAGINAL FLUIDS AT POLICE OFFICERS IN SELF-DEFENSE

A Florida lap dancer has been arrested in Miami after assaulting five police officers with her vagina and using it as a deadly weapon without the intent to kill.
Britney Simmons, 24, was performing at the Camel Toe strip club when an altercation began between Simmons and several clients at the club.

“She just spread her legs wide open and started squirting in the cops’ faces, eyes and mouths from a distance of about twelve to fifteen feet,”

https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/miami-stripper-arrested-for-squirting-vaginal-fluids-at-police-officers-in-self-defense/

 

[mgenet]

I've got nothin'.

 

[nauc]

guess they missed the store on the way in...

 

[bilbarstow]

She looks like Amy Poehler's even more demented little sister.

Sorry, The Amy Poehler Look-Alike Who Squirted Vaginal Fluid At Cops Is Fake

The “Parks and Recreation” star’s name began to trend on Twitter Wednesday, implying that the bizarre headline was a real news story.

www.huffpost.com

sorry for the HuffPo link, but they had the headline, even before I thought of it, it came up when I searched for Amy's last name spelling.

 

[Jymbopalyse]

MIAMI STRIPPER ARRESTED FOR SQUIRTING VAGINAL FLUIDS AT POLICE OFFICERS IN SELF-DEFENSE

A Florida lap dancer has been arrested in Miami after assaulting five police officers with her vagina and using it as a deadly weapon without the intent to kill.
Britney Simmons, 24, was performing at the Camel Toe strip club when an altercation began between Simmons and several clients at the club.

“She just spread her legs wide open and started squirting in the cops’ faces, eyes and mouths from a distance of about twelve to fifteen feet,”

https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/miami-stripper-arrested-for-squirting-vaginal-fluids-at-police-officers-in-self-defense/

I was going to go with an Amy Poehler Joke

But . . . Gallagher has a daughter !! ?? !!

 

[Central Scrutinizer]

 

[rxbandit]

It's a common defense mechanism strippers develop over time

 

[dc007]

That should make it to pornhub and how did the officers determine she didn't intend to kill them

 

[Lex]

Hey Bob, you gonna join us for drinks at The Camel Toe?
The camel what?
The Camel Toe, you know, the titty club at the back end of the Cracker Barrel parking lot. 8PM. It's taco tuesday.

 

[Fiat Lux]

Britney....?

I just can’t believe there’s a stripper called Britney.

cheers.

 

[Stinky Kitty]

 

[fett]

It's a new twist on pissing up a rope.

 

[Kamen_Kaiju]

12 - 15 feet?

 

[Bigfoot410]

I read somewhere that if you stick your finger in the dyke, it will stop spraying all over.

 

[Sct13]

 

[dc007]

I read somewhere that if you stick your finger in the dyke, it will stop spraying all over.

We'll never know since the police didn't do this

 

[Fiat Lux]

We'll never know since the police didn't do this

Was there a black box?

cheers.

 

[Bigfoot410]

Was there a black box?

cheers.

No, she was white.

 

[JTM45]

MIAMI STRIPPER ARRESTED FOR SQUIRTING VAGINAL FLUIDS AT POLICE OFFICERS IN SELF-DEFENSE

A Florida lap dancer has been arrested in Miami after assaulting five police officers with her vagina and using it as a deadly weapon without the intent to kill.
Britney Simmons, 24, was performing at the Camel Toe strip club when an altercation began between Simmons and several clients at the club.

“She just spread her legs wide open and started squirting in the cops’ faces, eyes and mouths from a distance of about twelve to fifteen feet,”

https://worldnewsdailyreport.com/miami-stripper-arrested-for-squirting-vaginal-fluids-at-police-officers-in-self-defense/

 

[Dave_W]

The article is almost a year old, from a satirical site "where facts don't matter," and some folks on Twitter thought it was real.

What a shock!