jokes & funnies.

Rocco Crocco

Senior Member
Feb 7, 2013
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Marshall & Moonshine

Senior Member
Jul 21, 2010
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JFC, I just had one like this yesterday:

“My computer seems to be stuck in some standby mode. The keyboard and screen are backlit but Windows doesn’t appear to be loading. I have turned it off and back on twice.”

I could ping his computer, so I connected into it remotely and could see the login screen so Windows appeared to be loading just fine.

I had to run out to an appointment so I asked one of my coworkers to go take a look at it.

The guy’s monitor was turned off. :420:
I’m not a computer guy, but since they have electrons in them, I still get called for IT problems. Once the voltage leaves the wall, it’s really not my gig.
In the cargo office on container ships there’s a separate computer for the ballast system. If you can’t balance the ship by filling or emptying ballast tanks, you’re in a lot of trouble. You can’t load or unload cargo, because you could literally break the ship in half.
I get a call in the middle of the night. The ballasting computer is going fuckshit crazy. The cursor is jumping all over the place and it’s just fast-flashing.
He’s tried everything: rebooting, unplugging…. Everything. Even the keyboard doesn’t work.
Skip to the end, he’s using the wrong keyboard and the actual keyboard is thrown under a desk, sitting upside down, constantly mashing one or more of the keys.
I write in way more OT than I should and go back to bed.

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