James Hetfield is officially a table, according to his Wikipedia entry as seen in the image below.
Hetfield revealed his true identity as a piece of wooden furniture when he proclaimed "I am the table" in "The View." It was the first song to be unveiled from a Metallica collaboration with Lou Reed.
While the song itself was poorly received, many listeners were inspired to come out of the closet and make their own claim to being a table, including several from the UG community. It is believed that these tables found it easier to admit their identity after Hetfield's public confession - truly an "I Am Spartacus" moment.
It is unclear whether Hetfield was produced as part of a collection of tables, or is a one-off creation. It has been rumored that his guitar is carved from an evil twin table, or that Hetfield himself was the evil twin.
Another rumor suggests that Hetfield is instead a regular human, and that his Wikipedia entry was edited as part of a joke. However, Wikipedia is increasingly credited as being a reliable source of information, and a 2005 study found it to be almost as accurate as a print copy of Encyclopaedia Britannica.