I've Slowly Watched Myself Become a Douchebag


Senior Member
Oct 21, 2008
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Like the title says, I think I'm a douchebag. The signs are all there. There is no denying it. I'm just living the douchebag life!

1. I have one of those cutesy 10 pound dogs. My last dog was around 50 pounds which is actually not that big. I use to laugh at people with small dogs, but in a comedic way. Never to actually put down other dog owners. Yup, tiny little doggy, first douchebag point.

* I actually love Chewie. He's really a great dog, and part of my family. Actually the favorite of my family.

2 (A) I vape. I'm not talking tobacco vape. I don't mean those concentrated thc vapes. I'm talking dried herb vape. The community is incredibly pretentious. The worst part is we know we are douchebags. We know we look like douchebags doing it.

2(B) Since dispensaries I'm at least as pretentious if not more so than the wine snobs. Seriously, it's funny when you think about it. You got what you got back in the day.

I'm giving myself five douchebag points on these.

3. Let's talk my watch selection. I'm pretty much always home. After I walk chewie in the morning I'm in considerable pain. Anyway, I wear various G-Shock watches. Oh, all except one is a Master of G. Anyway, the Master of G's are very bulky, and loaded with features that virtually no one needs. They are incredibly tough, but when I was in the Air Force I wore a cheap timex watch with a plastic crystal. That was plenty tough enough.. It's kind of much more tough than it needs to be in almost any condition. I wear them to watch TV and sleep.

On the case of the watches have some coolness factor I'm going with 1/2 point. A side note Casio Pro-Treks are as good as, but a fraction of the price.

4. And the final douchebag evidence against me, I drive a scooter. Now normally I would just rank this as sad or pathetic. I unfortunately have a euro-trash scooter (sorry to my European mates, it's just sarcastic hyperbole) which is a pretentious scooter. It's a really great scooter, but it's pretentious, overbuilt to a detriment to the owners in body work if needed, and charged top dollar for it. Again, I love my scooter, but I'm not immune to the douchebaggary.

I'm gonna go with 5 points.

How do y'all rank in the douchebag?

Uncle Vinnie

Gold Supporting Member
Jul 2, 2017
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Could be time ...



Senior Member
Dec 24, 2012
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I see no problem here. Fly that freak flag and be proud of yourself. Live your own Life brother.
Fuck what other people think of your gay weird ass. Man up. Screw the Mob Rule.
If it makes you happy it cant be that bad.

Bless your Heart:wave:

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