I'm not your friend anymore.

[MichaelAndrew3435]

The moms and dads of kids I knew back in high school who let their kids have big parties at their house and gave no f**** about it now have kids with some type of substance abuse issue, or they still live at home at age 26. You definitely can’t treat your kids like your friend.

However, I do think it’s very important to bond with your kids, spend quality time with one another, have fun once in awhile , and have day-to-day interactions with them instead of handing them a smart phone and going about your own business.

Like everything else, you must find the balance between being an authority figure and someone they can always go to for guidance/help.

 

[BBD]

Empathy without sentiment, love without blinkers and above all, consistency.

 

[Gmal]

I think this is a huge issue in modern parenting and it's responsible for the turds oozing out onto colleges.

I cringe when I'm in public and I overhear a parent asking for their kid's opinion on something, asking them what they want to do or what they think. Your kids aren't your friends or you're roommates, you're an authority figure and you should assert that authority.

I know some seriously lousy parents who are raising pretty garbage kids, and yet they get praised for being good parents because they love their kids and spending time with them. That's only half the job. The purpose of a parent isn't to love a kid, and be loved in return. The purpose of a parent is to raise their offspring to be well-adjusted adults who can operate independently in the world to the extent that they can reproduce. The only reason parents love their kids is because if they don't love them they don't bother to raise them and their genetics die out, it's a motivational mechanism for furthering the species.

Unfotunatly, love alone is not enough. If it was, there would be close to zero bad behaved kids. I mean, everybody loves their kids. We are hardwired to do so. What kids need is rules and consequence. You break the rules you got it coming.

My sister in law is a terrible example of this. She has absolutely no controll over their three year old. If he is alone with my family, or if my brother is around, he`s the sweetest little guy. Soon as mam steps in to the room, he turns in to a nightmare. When I had a week off some month ago I had him alone with my kids the whole day. He was an angel all day untill his mother comes. Then he starts screaming and hitting people. I had to put him on my lap untill he calmed down, and tell him that that behaviour was not acceptable in my house. All the time he kept looking at his mother with a "are-you-gonna-let-him-talk-to-me-that-way" look on his face.

I have no doubt she loves her kid, she is just completly useless at all the other aspects of parenting. I believe there are too many like her around today.

 

[OldBenKenobi]

Unfotunatly, love alone is not enough. If it was, there would be close to zero bad behaved kids. I mean, everybody loves their kids. We are hardwired to do so. What kids need is rules and consequence. You break the rules you got it coming.

My sister in law is a terrible example of this. She has absolutely no controll over their three year old. If he is alone with my family, or if my brother is around, he`s the sweetest little guy. Soon as mam steps in to the room, he turns in to a nightmare. When I had a week off some month ago I had him alone with my kids the whole day. He was an angel all day untill his mother comes. Then he starts screaming and hitting people. I had to put him on my lap untill he calmed down, and tell him that that behaviour was not acceptable in my house. All the time he kept looking at his mother with a "are-you-gonna-let-him-talk-to-me-that-way" look on his face.

I have no doubt she loves her kid, she is just completly useless at all the other aspects of parenting. I believe there are too many like her around today.

My aunt has raised her children extremely shittily. They're well-meaning kids but they're in their teens and suffering from a massive absence of social and emotional development due to excessive helicopter parenting (including homeschooling). Not once in their entire lives have they ever had to hurry up for anything. I went camping with them once and my god getting the tents up was like pulling teeth. They'll be adults soon and that's going to be a trainwreck.