I Miss Burt Reynolds( It is Fun being a JERKO)

[Tim Fezziwig]

Tim ? here at my chipped table. Smokey and the Bandit is on the telly. Burt Reynolds was COOL! He did not care what people thought. BURT WANTS =BURT TAKES! He was a GREAT role model for me. Why lighten up? Because people want you to. TUFF! People also want the last piece of pizza. I WANT IT TOO!
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We are struggling with the slice. ON NO! IT FELL IN THE DIRT!

Good, If I can't have it NOBODY will.

Everday I encounter DOLTS! Why are you like this Fezzi?

Because it feels good.
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People forget that we are creautures of the moment. We are here and then ? I don't know? It will be interesting. Why I am here. I'm doing whatever I want to

Luckily ,my THRILLS are legal=Ego tripping+Art+ Making love to my wife+bleeding+playing with cat.

I'm lucky that is what gets my heart beating fast. If coke and hookers did it. I WOULD BE THERE! As much as I could be. Life is SLIPPING through my fingers. I'm going to POUND it to the END.
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I want to be entertained. I'm not here for substance.
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Trolls=LOVE them. Even a weak troll is fun. Moves the air.


Women +Faux women= Love them. I don't care if they are real or not. In fact I like the "faux' women better. They are tricksters. Good job.


Hotheads=LOVE them. BURNING HOT! HOW DARE HE! Here catch my poopy.


The Hypocrites-REALLY LOVE THEM. They are at EVERY trainwreck. They add their 2 cents. OH HOW HORRIBLE! Hey buddy, if it pains you so much why are you here?

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I'm bored of talking about others.
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Fezz is what I'm talking about. My heart POUNDS when I'm here. I was "better" for several months. I tried to play team ball? How stupid. One big Happy family? HAR DEE HAR!

Oh yeah, I feel your pain. Not really. I don't even know you.


This is a funny post. I'm cracking up as I write this. Trying to create SOMETHING! ANYTHING! Why? Good question.




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On Wearing The Egg


It is Sunday. The day of rest. Not for me. It is the beginning of the week for me. I like to CHEESE PEOPLE OFF! I get into my car. VROOOOMMM! I put on Exile on Main and I'm off. EVERYBODY is cruising really slow,

"Oh honey,lets get the children to soccer."

MOVE FAMILY MAN! I'm on your tail.

"I say the chap behind us is MEAN."


I just keep coming. Why? Because it feels good.


Am I right or wrong? I don't care. The "smug" chump in front of me is annoying me. I want to WAKE HIM UP!


I get past Mr .SOCCER MOMMY! He is wearing sandals? 10-1 he is. New gender roles baffle me?

VRRROOOOOOMMM! My generic Lumina is off to the races. Just like the Bandit! I Love you BURT REYNOLDS

OH NO!


Somebody pulls in front of me? A girl is driving her "MAN". I ride the bumper HARD! C'mon Honey DRIVE! This is Monday for me sweetie. The "Man" tries to glare at me. He is 22? Why is he the passenger? No money? Making your woman drive? Oh boy, I see a sandal on the dashboard.


THIS IS WHY YOU DON'T wear sandals. You could encounter a guy like me. I see sandals I FEEL MEAN! The first thing I want do is STOMP on his toes. CRY BABY CRY~!


So I tailgate. The Stones are pumping. Sandal boy tries to look TUFF


Do you see how funny people are?

I'm an ACE-HOLE! Do I feel bad about it? NO WAY! I LOVE IT! Do I pay for my behaviour? Yes, over and over. I don't care. Did Burt Reynolds care? NO WAY!

Then I have Soccer Mommy/Daddy thinking they are Kings and Queens of the road. Little stickers on their glass. Daddy+MOMMY+1 boy with soccer ball+a girl in dance garb. Am I impressed? NO! The little stick figures tick me off.


My other friends= A tattooed girl and her sandal boy. If you do not like me.TUFF TOOTY! I don't like you. You pull out infront of me doing 22 mph. You text and giggle. Be careful kids. This is a dangerous world. Go buy some more tatts and sandals!

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WOW! WHAT PASSION TODAY!

I'm afraid I'm over-stimulated!


You read this and you think? What is he talking about?

I'm talking about people and why I LOVE them. They are fun to play with. They think they are SO IMPORTANT! C'mon wear the egg. We are all cliche's.
I sit here preaching. Who am I? Just some clown with a keyboard. I play the ARTIST. I feel comfortable doing this.


???????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????????

WOW! WOWEE! POWEEE!


My squirrel friends are here.

Wait a minute. I have to get them some peanuts.



Sorry ,I'm back. I love the squirrels. They beg for peanuts. They do not drive cars. I'm glad. The stick figures would be strange?

Mommy squirrel +Daddy Squirrel + a smushed Roadkill squirrel=our poor son Joey, Then ? How many squirrels does one squirrel mommy have? 20? The whole back glass would be covered in squirrel stickers.


Well. I feel better now. I got to VENT! SHHHEEEESHHH! It seems like all I do is vent? What a wonderful world. I think I'm going to go buy some beads and sandals



BURT REYNOLDS COME BACK AND TEACH THESE GIRLY MEN! THEY NEED ROLE-MODELS!



Signing out from Sandaladelphia
Tim Reynolds

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=h6hGdPkn8Ow]Smokey and the Bandit Theme - YouTube[/ame]

 

[bscenefilms]

Careful feeding squirrels. They can get very aggressive when it comes to free food. My mom used to feed em peanuts in the back yard and they destroyed the back door to the house...

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

Careful feeding squirrels. They can get very aggressive when it comes to free food. My mom used to feed em peanuts in the back yard and they destroyed the back door to the house...

B I want that. This is a group home. I like when they chew on the phone wires. They create chaos. Here little squirrel. EVERYBODY hates them. They RUIN our birdhouses, chew wires ,,,,,,,,.

They are fun. Maybe one could bite me and I could become? A Squirrel man? I've been trying to become a wolfman,I get close but no cigar. C'mon squirrel bite me. MAKE ME A SUPERHUMAN!

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uqg9jWP5OUI]KISS- Almost Human (Music Video) - YouTube[/ame]

 

[bscenefilms]

If you get bit, most likely you will become RabiesMan or BubonicPlagueMan...

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

If you get bit, most likely you will become RabiesMan or BubonicPlagueMan...

B it would be a fitting end. Fezz dies of rabies That would be rich. I knew a guy . He got bit by a bat. He worked at a video store. I WOULD VISIT HIM EVERY COUPLE OF WEEKS. Are you a vampire?"

We would smoke cigars together. I asked him if he was having weird dreams. He did not "turn". He got tons of needles for the rabies. He was an APPLEHEAD! He liked coke and hookers. I saw him at my friends wedding. His pupils were maxed. His "date" was a CHEAP! Good kid.

 

[Skintaster]

Burt Reynolds should have won an Oscar for best supporting actor for his work in "Boogie Nights". He was amazing in that, and was nominated. Can't remember who won, but it should have been him.

 

[stinkfoot]

holy hell Tim, have you been out drinking Sterno with slacky again?

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

holy hell Tim, have you been out drinking Sterno with slacky again?

Stink I had 48 ounces of black coffee I was typing ,I thought? Is this hateful? FunnY? AMPED? I like to cut loose. If it feels wrong,then it is a good post.

 

[Strato]

I'd like to toss Sally Fields salad for her. Even when she was a flying Nun I wanted to hit that.

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

I'd like to toss Sally Fields salad for her. Even when she was a flying Nun I wanted to hit that.

Strat, my wife has her smile. I LOVE SALLY!MMM MMM GOOD!

 

[Skintaster]

I'd like to toss Sally Fields salad for her. Even when she was a flying Nun I wanted to hit that.

She had a brief nude scene in "Stay Hungry" back in the 70's. It's probably the only reason to watch that film.

 

[bertzie]

God damnit, Tim. Don't scare me like that! Reading your post, I thought he was dead or something!

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

She had a brief nude scene in "Stay Hungry" back in the 70's. It's probably the only reason to watch that film.

Skin, with Ahnold Swatziepecker. I LOVE THAT FLICK! Muscle boys and Sally. She looked GREAT NAKED!

 

[Groove Toad]

I have a friend whose band is called Burt Reynold's Mustache.

 

[Strato]

She had a brief nude scene in "Stay Hungry" back in the 70's. It's probably the only reason to watch that film.

When I get back home I'm going to see if I can find it and rent it out. I don't think I've ever seen Sally naked except in my fantasies and it might do me some good. Thanks for the tip.

 

[ptate]

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5n2hrARWZqs&feature=related]Turd Ferguson on Jeopardy! - YouTube[/ame]
[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Wk1W2x5v_jI&feature=results_main&playnext=1&list=PL1E3347533D3CFE9E]Club Chubby's Commercial from Earl - YouTube[/ame]

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

I know that DEEP in EVERY MAN there is a jerko. You can slip on some sandals and be smug, OR YOU CAN RAGE! I'm tired of being a matchstick man. I can be MORE! Am I neutered? Do I like soccer? HELL NO! You want the darkside. Remember the night? You once were out in it.


RRRRRRRRIIIINNNGGGGG!

"YEAH!"
"It is your mother"
"MOMMY?"
"Yes ?"
"Is this life REAL?"
"No !"
"Can I play in traffic?"
Yes! YES!YESSSSSSSSS.........No you could get hurt!


TUFF!

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=7JruuMkV0gM]Riot - Swords & Tequila - YouTube[/ame]

 

[Strato]

She let you play in traffic? Right On Mom !!! I'm afraid I'd stop traffic. I once made a train take a dirt road. AND That was in my good years.

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

Strat we are here RIGHT now! Someday! PSSSTTT! Hey come here feller. Yeah? Are you Fezzi? NO MORE! I'm EVERYTHING! Then I go to a pond.

"Hi there mr. Frog!"

The little frog shakes his little green butt.

I ONCE WAS PETER FRAMPTON!

Hi Pete. I once was Fezz!

 

[lespaul01]

Happy 8000 posts Dearest