I had a revelation about drinking today

[Alligatorbling]

well, more of a revelation about those who drink and the gatherings they drink at.

i was looking though face book and stumbled on some of my old friends pages... looking through the photos i became kinda sad as they were almost completely made up of folks with beer in hand, partys, keg stands, passing the blunt back and forth... things of the such.

all the pictures were filled with smiles, folks with there arms around each other, basements filled to the max with everyone dancing and having a jolly good time.

i began to think, well thats all over for me... the magic is gone for me and no matter how bad i want to drink it will never work for me. i almost felt as if i were locked outside looking in to a warm room on a winter day. the more pictures i saw the sadder i got, not only sad but jealous, angry, confused... so i cut the computer off and laid back down..

while i was laying there i had an AH HA moment... i thought about the conversation me and becky had the other day when i wanted to drink again and decided to stay home and not go to AA because i was scared id buy booze ...

I started think think "those pictures with basements filled with people drinking, dancing, and laughing... would those basements be full if there were no keg or drugs present?" NO ... they would not... Would all the guys be laughing and smiling, feeling like superman, like the coolest badest mofo there with out booze? NO... they wouldnt... Would all the girls be showing skin, batting eyelashes and feeling like the prettiest girl there without the wine? NO they would not...

The guy who thew the party didnt have his house full of laughing and dancing people because everyone there is his friend, or because they care about him, or even because they like him. they are there because of the free booze, free drugs, and the presence of the intoxicated opposite sex...

What they are feeling, laughing about, and "enjoying" there is an illusion. Tomorrow they will wake up and the buzz will be gone. The guys will no longer be supermen, the girls will no longer be the prettiest girl in the world. There will only be reality.

I kept thinking that though of ... there not there because they care about the people there, there there to drink away there problems, experience the illusions, and drink the free beer... they wouldnt be there if the party was dry, they could give two shits about the person throwing the party, or the people there at the party... and tomorrow, they will feel that reality, that is until the next party when they can live the illusion all over again.

 

[Deus Vult]

and dont forget all the consequences of living that illusion: vomiting, headaches, nausea, DUIs, liver failures, STDs, unplanned pregnancy, etc, etc

 

[#1guitarman]

Bling,
I think you're onto something here....

 

[SneakySnakeLady]

This is exactly what I was trying to talk to you about the other day. We will talk again, but here is not the place. You can PM me.

 

[SneakySnakeLady]

and dont forget all the consequences of living that illusion: vomiting, headaches, nausea, DUIs, liver failures, STDs, unplanned pregnancy, etc, etc

potentially getting into a vehicle....crashing and killing yourself....crashing and killing an innocent person...spending the rest of your life in prison....losing everything, including your loved ones.

 

[Atomic]

now youre on the right track. i dont know if my long ass post from way back helped you at all.. but i hope it did if even a little bit.

 

[b-squared]

Dude--I think the room full of people you were looking are actually out in the cold. They live in a world where you cannot or do not face your problems; you simulate life with a drink.

Like SRV said...'Life by the drop...'

You are walking through a door into the bright sunlight after being in the basement for a long time. It's going to take some time for your eyes to adjust, but things will be much clearer. Yes, you'll sometimes feel hurt, but you're really feeling it.

Stick with it, buddy boy.

BB

 

[gibbbbbbbaaaay!!!]

Good Bling. Beer is not good for anything except f*cking people up! I have only been offered drugs once and turned them down. It wasn't hard. Just say "NO!"

 

[SneakySnakeLady]

Good Bling. Beer is not good for anything except f*cking people up! I have only been offered drugs once and turned them down. It wasn't hard. Just say "NO!"

Thats wonderful Gib...keep saying NO now, and never start. You don't want to travel down the road that many of us have traveled before...it doesn't lead to good places.

 

[randelli]

Very well said. I believe that you received a revelation about life and the person you USED to be. You are a much better person now.

 

[C Squared]

and the truth shall set you free my friend. When I first hit a point in life where I had to make some changes I'd get really bummed out missing my "friends"... course the only "friend" to most of those folks is the "high". Seen a lot of people sell their friend's down the river to the "highest" bidder. Found out who my true friends are. And they're still there without the kegs.

 

[GNR4EVR]

potentially getting into a vehicle....crashing and killing yourself....crashing and killing an innocent person...spending the rest of your life in prison....losing everything, including your loved ones.

I was up close and personal with a person who was in the program for 14 years, and went back out. I dont know how long he had been drinking for, but one morning he was drunk as usual, and left from wherever he was, and crashed into a lady taking her 4 & 3 year old sons to the dentist at 8:30 in the MORNING................. and killed them all. He was the only one that lived. This woman's husband was at work, and had to come home to an empty house, and an empty life. This story was part of the reason I stay in my meetings. I dont think I am ready to become that alcoholic, but the potential is definitely there for every AA member.

 

[Sky]

Well said Bling. Hope you stay clean bro!

 

[Alligatorbling]

now youre on the right track. i dont know if my long ass post from way back helped you at all.. but i hope it did if even a little bit.

thanks, and of course it helped, any kind words, advice, hell any words at all that show someone is listening means the world to me...

 

[E55eT]

Your post is pure truth Bling. I tend to befriend strangers when drunk and fight real friends and people I love. Thats some of the reasons I don't attend "parties" or drink myself shit-faced anymore. That and a thousand other reasons...

 

[chasenblues]

This is exactly what I was trying to talk to you about the other day. We will talk again, but here is not the place. You can PM me.

A thing to remember is that not everybody in those pictures WE (myself included) look at.. Had or have (our) problems with knowing when to stop or of not using at all....
And i agree with the SnakeLady... another time and place. ODAAT Bling.

 

[Alligatorbling]

A thing to remember is that not everybody in those pictures WE (myself included) look at.. Had or have (our) problems with knowing when to stop or of not using at all....
And i agree with the SnakeLady... another time and place. ODAAT Bling.

do what?

 

[GNR4EVR]

thanks, and of course it helped, any kind words, advice, hell any words at all that show someone is listening means the world to me...

Im all ears, Bling. This is a "WE" program. WE do it together. I know how you feel about those meetings, but they will save your life, and the potential lives of others.

 

[GNR4EVR]

One day at a time.
Chasenblues is saying that those people in those pictures in your mind of the warm get-togethers may very well not have our problem. Thats a part we have to accept. That WE are different from our fellows. No matter how hard we try, we cannot ever drink like a normal human being again.

"And this is the great obsession of EVERY abnormal drinker, that one day he will be able to control his drinking. Many persue it to the gates of insanity or death".~ Bill W. Alcoholics Anonymous.

Everything in there is true, bro.

 

[Jason]

Ryan, you just need to play your guitar more. You need to actually use it to write some songs. Simple as that. Enter the MLP contest too.