I cracked it!

Guy Named Sue

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It's Friday here and it's my day off so I expected that I could sleep in and don't have to wake up early. But noooo a freaking epsilon calls and wakes me up to tell me I need to protect myself from online scammers, pay them some amount of money to secure all my cards and what not.

I figure it's easy, I'll just say "no thanks, I'm not interested. Bye!" but she just plows through her script, "Wouldn't you want to protect yourself before something unpredictable happens...?"

"No, I enjoy the thrill of it waiting for a scammer to clean my account."

Still she plows ahead "Our services offer you.."

"I'm not wearing any pants"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I'm not wearing any pants."

"I'm not sure.."

"It's my day off and I want to sleep. So I'm not wearing any pants, thought that you should know. I always wear pants before I take serious decisions."

"Okay... Maybe I'm calling at a bad time. Bye...." hangs up
 

Who

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Lately, when I have time, I’m staying on the line for the “extended warranty” people.

I can get them to last about 25 minutes.

BTW, the cost is over $5,000 for a five year plan.
 

Guy Named Sue

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Lately, when I have time, I’m staying on the line for the “extended warranty” people.

I can get them to last about 25 minutes.

BTW, the cost is over $5,000 for a five year plan.
I wish I could do that but I get bored so quick. I'd love to mess with them but they always call you when you absolutely don't want to take a call. It's like a bat signal

"Oh look! There's someone who doesn't want to be bothered, let's call them up!"
 

six-string

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you missed a great opportunity.
after announcing your 'pantlessness', you should have coyly asked, "and what are you wearing?"
she answers, "ummmm sir! i'm not sure ..."
you continue, " well i thought since you phoned me while i'm in bed, that maybe we should get to know each other a little better. do you have any body peircings? maybe a small tattoo in a private area? "
 

scott1970

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I’m getting hammered for burial insurance. I answer the questions until they connect me with a human.

They read their intro and then ask my age. Using a warbly old man voice I say, “I’m 102 and they give me pudding if I don’t poop my pants.”
 

Chester Drawers

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It's Friday here and it's my day off so I expected that I could sleep in and don't have to wake up early. But noooo a freaking epsilon calls and wakes me up to tell me I need to protect myself from online scammers, pay them some amount of money to secure all my cards and what not.

I figure it's easy, I'll just say "no thanks, I'm not interested. Bye!" but she just plows through her script, "Wouldn't you want to protect yourself before something unpredictable happens...?"

"No, I enjoy the thrill of it waiting for a scammer to clean my account."

Still she plows ahead "Our services offer you.."

"I'm not wearing any pants"

"I'm sorry, what?"

"I'm not wearing any pants."

"I'm not sure.."

"It's my day off and I want to sleep. So I'm not wearing any pants, thought that you should know. I always wear pants before I take serious decisions."

"Okay... Maybe I'm calling at a bad time. Bye...." hangs up
She should be grateful that she didn't Facetime you!
 

Guy Named Sue

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She should be grateful that she didn't Facetime you!
She never would've stood a chance. Would've fallen for me instantly and been out knocking on my door with a boom box on her shoulder declaring her love for me.

I don't have time for that kind of shit!

"Listen kid, I'm not wearing any pants and I don't want you to fall in love with me. I might break your heart, we should end this while we still can."
 

ehb

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A bud's tactic...

Could you repeat that.
Could you repeat that.
Could you repeat that.
Could you repeat that.
Could you repeat that.
Could you repeat that.
Could you repeat that.
Could you repeat that.
 

Howard2k

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Lately, when I have time, I’m staying on the line for the “extended warranty” people.

I can get them to last about 25 minutes.

BTW, the cost is over $5,000 for a five year plan.

I try that too.
There are credit card number generators that you can use which will provide "valid" credit card numbers. Those will keep them occupied too.
 


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