I cant stop crying. Wife cheated.

MikeyTheCat

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Right as rain.

Carly Simon did this back in '72 with "Your'e So Vain". Everybody wondered who the guy was. Turns out it was Warren Beatty.
..and he was more than flattered about it. #1 song, all about him and his dick
It’s great to be a guy. The world is our urinal and the babes can’t ever get over us.
 

freak

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Dude I'm sorry. That sucks. I can't read 14 pages of responses though...…..
I can't add anything more than everyone has said, so I won't be redundant. Lots of good advise here.

I do have one thing, and I'm not sure if it was mentioned before....if she left months and months of texts on her phone, which you could obviously access, IMO she wanted to get caught. Probably felt guilty, or as she may say, 'confused'.
Anyway, not sure if it was covered or not, but after all the other good advise, it's all I've got.
 

rich85

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Yeah I had a really dark day yesterday. The shock of finding out about the cheating and lying, then breaking up from my wife, all within an hour passed. A self hatred came over me. I believed I was an awful husband because why else would she cheat. I just couldnt stop attacking myself.

I am getting more counselling.
 

Oldskoolrob

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That's a natural part of the grieving process - doesn't mean what you're thinking is right.


No one is perfect, right? But when it boils down to it she had options. If she wasn't happy she should have said something, worked it out, or worst case left before she started screwing another guy. It's normal to question yourself and ask 'did I do everything I could'? 'Was it my fault'?
End of the day, she took the low road so that's not your fault.
It might seem dark now, but soon you'll see some light at the end of the tunnel. I promise.
 

Oldskoolrob

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All good mate. I've been through something very similar. Even after I found out she had been cheating I tried to salvage the relationship....may as well have been trying to nail Jelly to the wall.
Went to some dark lonely places, lost touch with many friends. Engaged in some risky behaviour that could have been career-ending. Managed to pull out of the tail spin. Found a nice girl who loves me. 10 years from when it all went to shit my fiance and I are expecting a new baby and life is great.

As Dory says, 'Just keep swimming'.
 

1FretLess

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Lt Dave

Carly has said herself ‘Vein’ was about David Cassidy (sp)
The Actor from the hippy music family show of the 70’s

‘Apricot ascot ‘ ..... fixed that for ya

Ever ever see Warren wearing an ascot?

Peach was Daves favorite color

As to the OP - run like hell
 
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1FretLess

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My very best friend is goin’ thu this (over a year now)

Kids being involved makes this so so much more difficult

Its a never ending shit show - she remarried and is divorcing again


Personally I'm all about trust - with ANY relationship- break trust game over

31 years ... i dont tempt myself (men weak) so never set foot in a tiddy bar after IDO
and its clear that infidelity is the break ... piss away my money .... break my house
and cars were good - fuck the pool boy or steal from us and it’s done ....

If you have no kids - walk the fuk away .... make it legal - sell the house

This is devastating to read and i’ve not been in such to know my reaction
But grabbin my gear and hittin the door is my response ... lawyer up
And find a decent realtor ....

Really sorry brother ... hope you have an old buddy to talk with ..
. look ‘em up its nice to have my buddy ‘back’ and he needs the
Encouragement in real life ...

Do NOT go back you DESERVE far better from the people you
choose to have in your world

Hang tough
 
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mdubya

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To be honest if I stayed in that house I would have done something stupid. I got my guitars, dogs and left with dignity.

That old saying... Why is divorce so expensive? Because it is worth it.

It sucks that this was foisted upon you with no desire for it by you. Better days lay ahead. Enjoy all of your new opportunities and keep your guard up. :yesway:
 

NRBQ

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The thing is the guy she is cheating on you with never imagines that she could ever cheat on him. Why?
 

Alligatorbling

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OP, once some of the shock and grief is no longer overwhelming, think about getting another hobby to have along side music. Find things to fill your time with. Also since your now by yourself you can afford go splurge a little, go ahead and buy that new whatever you want.
 

Pete M

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I went through something similar. But by the time it came around there had been many years where the wife and I hated each other and something had to give. Still, it wasn't easy to take the idea of breaking up the family, the home, and that things were ending. It's like a grief process. All I can advise is that you're in a bad place, but you'll soon be in a good place. That's not to say you won't ever get in a mess again in future, but the big dark cloud will go away and you'll realise this woman wasn't worth it. Find a younger hotter partner that makes you happy. Also it helps to get yourself in shape and focus on that, rather than drinking, Things are a mess at the moment, probably you're a mess too, but it will get better and you'll be surprised how quickly.
 
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TheX

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I know this won't be popular, but there had to be fault on both sides. Like I said earlier, I hope that you are taking time to look inward and really dig deep. I learned a lot about myself when I quit putting all of the blame on my ex. We are here to support you, and most people are ready to put 100% of the blame on someone they'll never meet, just because she isn't you. Only you know the truth, and I mean no disrespect at all. Just hoping you get the best out of the path you've been put on.

I hope the road ahead is full of positive, life enhancing adventures. Don't let her have another second of your energy. The place you're in may be dark right now, but it will get MUCH better.
 

rich85

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Of course I wasn't perfect, I begged her to go to counselling as I was going myself due to a stressful time. She refused. That is all I will make public.

I deserved more respect as a person. I deserved more respect as a husband.
 

ErictheRed

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You deserve better, you will one day find someone better.

It took me about six years, but now (about eight years post divorce) I have much better: a good wife that I'm about to have my first child with (in just a few weeks). So from experience, it might take years of suffering and growing, but it does get better.
 




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