I can't get 10lbs of **** in a 5lb bag!

[SteveC]

I knew this was coming. I have finally reached a point where I can't keep juggling this many balls and keep all the plates spinning on top of the sticks, any longer.

There has been a big shift in my work responsibilities. My business travel has been increasing significantly. This leaves less room for personal pursuits. So, I have to cut back on some things.

After a long period of deliberation and great angst, I have decided that I need to quit my band. I just can't keep that regular commitment and honestly, it's not fair to them. My heart isn't in it any longer. I'm getting more & more burned out, from trying to be all things to all people.

Not that I don't love playing and doing it with them - it's just too large of a commitment and it leaves me with little time left for other things. Plus, every week we may need to reschedule/cancel rehearsals, based on my availability. And, I have no sense for my reliability to be able to perform gigs.

I'm going to have to drop this on them Friday and I am soooooo not looking forward to that conversation. It's going to suck, big time. And, I just brought my wife into the band to play keys, too. She says that when I go, she goes. So, it's a one-two punch for the band. Ugh!

I'm not looking for advice, or to have my mind changed. This decision is irrevocable. I'm a few years away form retirement and they pay me stupid money, so finding another job is not going to happen.

I just needed to vent. FML.

 

[LPJNoob]

Vent away my friend.

 

[Rich]

I have the same problem when it comes to condoms.

 

[cmh6122]

Stupid money?

Be careful with that stuff. I think it must be what they pay our corporate leadership with.

Good luck.

 

[VictorB]

If you're not happy playing with those guys, it all for the best anyway.

You can always find another band sometime down the road.

 

[KSG_Standard]

You can get about 8lbs in a 5lb sack if you put the heaviest stuff on the bottom. I had to make a decision about band or career in the early 90s. Didn't have time or energy for both. Hopefully you'll find the time and people to enjoy a band after you retire.

 

[Nard]

I know I could never commit to a band 100% because of my shift pattern. I would love to get up on stage again someday but it would only be done for a bit of fun really. Hopefully one day I'll find some musicians out there who'll accommodate me.

 

[PapaSquash]

I feel for you. You're doing the right thing, though. Nobody wants to be the guy who cancels practice and interferes with gigs.

Been there, done that about 3 years ago. I'm not built to quit so leaving was hard. The good news is I'm coming out the other side of that over committed stretch and have some prospects, so don't burn any bridges and a new day will come.

 

[Kamen_Kaiju]

Gotta do what you gotta do, there's nothing wrong with that.

 

[VictorB]

I knew this was coming. I have finally reached a point where I can't keep juggling this many balls.

Thank you good night everybody!

 

[So What]

I wouldn't quit doing things you enjoy.

Quality of life is worth something.

Ambition, drive, self-motivation, and loyalty are all qualities that I, and most employers, look for in an employee.

Or, if you are self-employed, it takes all of your time and effort to make it work.

But the lesson I have learned, after being self-employed and working for the family business most of my life, is that you miss out on things you should have enjoyed by obsessing about work.

After ignoring my family and friends, to focus on and worry about my business,... my kids are grown, my friends are getting old like me, and the business still sucks, no matter how much I do.

I have many regrets in this particular area, so if I can help just one person, it is worth it...LOL.

Good luck, man.

.

 

[Marshall & Moonshine]

Sucks, man. I tell my wife that if I'm ever able to stop working on ships and get a job on land that I'm starting a band with my friends, but obviously it's not necessarily easy to do with a most jobs.
Hopefully you can still jam sometimes to scratch the itch. It gets me by, mostly.

 

[SteveC]

Vic touched on something that I didn't really consider as a cause for deciding to hang it up. I am getting tired of the flavor & direction of the band, lately. On its own, that wouldn't be a problem and I'd probably work towards finding some middle ground. But, with life priorities changing, I wouldn't have the time to do that, either.

I'm not looking at this as giving up something that I enjoy. Rather, I am choosing to do other things that I enjoy.

It's not about the career. That ambition ended a long time ago. I was fortunate to have achieved a very good level of success, over my years. I'm done with all that. I hate the corporate world, even though it has given my family a lot. But, now in my place in life, I just want to finish up and move on. I'm running a several hundred person sales unit as a VP, for a Fortune 100 company. I'll never move up and quite frankly, I don't want to move up! I just want to coast to the finish line!

But... and big but... My job is my number one priority. For one single reason: so that for the remaining few years, I can finish building what we need to enjoy retirement. And, during that time, I will still have time to enjoy things in life that I want to do and spend time with my family.

So, for the next few years, I want to enjoy my grandkids, travel with my wife, putz around the house making improvements, compete in shooting matches, play golf, enjoy the orchestra, go to concerts, spend the summer at the beach (with the family & grandkids) and just have a couple quiet nights each week, at home... relaxing.

I can't fit playing with the band, into that list. The time requirements are too great and I don't want to give up any of that other stuff (which I have to some degree, in the past), to make the time.

This is just really causing me angst. It's one of the hardest decisions that I have had to make. I stopped playing seriously for about 25 years, to start and grow my family. I had no regrets over that. I just started playing serious again about 4 years ago.

I will still play everyday. That won't change. But, I won't "have" to play. And, that gives me a little relief. But, I won't get to play with other people. And, that just crushes me.

Arrrrrrggghhhhh!!!!!!

 

[freak]

so.....

really, you are just taking a few years off, if you think about it.
you have a few years left of work, so finish that off, and you can probably find others in your situation to play with in a few years.

you said you would keep playing.....expand your repertoire as time allows, and hit the ground running when you are ready, and if you really want to.
hell your wife play keys so you are halfway to a new band already.

I feel for you though...quitting isn't in my nature, as it is not in yours, and if your bandmates are your friends (very important here) they will understand and be thankful you are being mindful of them and the situation they could be put into. it is not a selfish act, and they should see and respect that.

 

[Deus Vult]

sounds like you need the King of Tone.

 

[Maynar]

Sure you can. Well, eight pounds. Well okay, six.

Well okay, maybe not ten. Shoot.

-------

Seriously, do what you gotta do.

Hope you find happiness.

 

[parts]

I quit working the guitar years ago..

Now I play..

Enjoy it much more..

 

[mudfinger]

The good times come and go, like money. You'll be retired soon enough. We're not curing cancer, here.

 

[SteveC]

Fvck!

I just came home from rehearsal and I didn't quit. I just couldn't do it.

What a pvssy!

 

[VictorB]