I Am So Happy To Have Found Out I Am Not Crazy!

rabidhamster

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I initially cringed at the idea of dating someone who works for you, and then if it doesn't work having them not come back to clean anymore, even for a time.

then I realized you don't employ these people, they're employees of whatever cleaning company they work for - in which case, you're just a customer who's allowed to date, break up, and discontinue the services of anyone you choose.

Now its reasonably apparent that the girl was crazy and probably untrustworthy to be in your home, good thing she let you know early.


this thread was the first I heard of the broken eagle, just awful! so sorry to hear. The only minor, and I mean VERY MINOR upside is that it was broken before you dropped 1300+. Also finding out its the MIK takes a little of the sting out of it too - but at the same time its more of a double whammy sort of sting...
 

acstorfer

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Acstorfer, I see you're getting some heat but in the end, many people have been there.
Don't feel bad for wanting a little love, platonic or not.

Have a good day!
:thumb:

With the exception of someone inferring that I harass women, treat my friends like prostitutes, and that if someone buys me lunch I will no doubt exploit and take advantage of them, it's all been quite fun. If you can't laugh at stuff like this then what's the point.

Since Saturday when I found out about everything I've been pretty much laughing hysterically.
 

rabidhamster

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I see no problem with buying lunch for, and socializing with people who clean your house. They appreciate it I'm sure, and probably do a better job because they feel appreciated. I would. People are people.

I've also found that a partial language barrier can hide a lot of disagreements you'd quickly have were communication not more challenging.

"My wife of 10 years finally learned English fluently. We finalize the divorce next month."
 

acstorfer

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I initially cringed at the idea of dating someone who works for you, and then if it doesn't work having them not come back to clean anymore, even for a time.

then I realized you don't employ these people, they're employees of whatever cleaning company they work for - in which case, you're just a customer who's allowed to date, break up, and discontinue the services of anyone you choose.

Now its reasonably apparent that the girl was crazy and probably untrustworthy to be in your home, good thing she let you know early.


this thread was the first I heard of the broken eagle, just awful! so sorry to hear. The only minor, and I mean VERY MINOR upside is that it was broken before you dropped 1300+. Also finding out its the MIK takes a little of the sting out of it too - but at the same time its more of a double whammy sort of sting...
The first go round once I manned up and told them to come back if they'd like it was awkward for a short while and then things until recently were great. As far as cutting the dead wood, I'm happier and Suani and Bessy are happier. Crazy drama was cut from my life before anything serious happened, and I got a good laugh out of it. In my book it's a grand slam.

Edit: It really wasn't very early though. They've been working around my condo for well over a year. Come November it will be two years.
 

acstorfer

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I see no problem with buying lunch for, and socializing with people who clean your house. They appreciate it I'm sure, and probably do a better job because they feel appreciated. I would. People are people.

I've also found that a partial language barrier can hide a lot of disagreements you'd quickly have were communication not more challenging.

When I cleaned homes with my dad we appreciated when people treated us as equals. We always did as good a job for our clients as we could whether they treated us as untouchables or they made us feel welcome in their homes, but it was nice to have some people during the day that we looked forward to busting our humps for.

The language barrier isn't much of a problem though. My Spanish vocabulary is workable, although I'm awful at conjugating past and future tense, but it all works fine. Worst case scenario is we pull out our smartphones and look stuff up if we don't know how to say it. There's lots of free translation websites.
 

Kamen_Kaiju

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You were warned mate.

And it turned out exactly like many thought it would.

They is tricksy muh brutha
 

Harmony

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All women are crazy bitches . So you are better off turning gay and be happy :)
 

HeartString

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Go to the 2:00 min mark here.

[ame]http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xo_QlcSL71s[/ame]
 

acstorfer

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You were warned mate.

And it turned out exactly like many thought it would.

They is tricksy muh brutha

Well I do admit there were some warnings, but the married part came out of left field.
 

acstorfer

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All women are crazy bitches . So you are better off turning gay and be happy :)

I'm pretty sure getting poked in the A won't bring me happiness. Okay, I'm not pretty sure, I am absolutely positive!

I have to imagine that from a woman's perspective we must be somewhat of a challenge as well?
 

artis_xe

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All women are crazy bitches . So you are better off turning gay and be happy :)

beside the States __ most other counties do associate the term " gay " , with happy __ and not with homosexual

but maybe there's something to that :hmm:
 

freebyrd 69

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I see the confusion. The texts aren't pursuing seeing how tentative plans are already in effect on her behest. There are certain things I need to schedule and I'm not a last minute person. My dog for instance is something I need to arrange for. She's getting up there in age so I usually don't let her go more than 4 (5 hours max) without a walk, as well as keeping her on a feeding schedule. I needed to know when I needed to schedule her walker. Both times because of the last minute cancels I got stuck paying for something I didn't need. In the latter case there was also an issue with transportation. Because of various reasons I moved in with my parents several years ago. My mom passed first and my dad passed in January. The car is registered in his name. Because I am still waiting on paperwork from the courts regarding the estate, while I am keeping the car insured the registration is past due so again I needed to find out about times and what not because I needed to rent a car. There's other stuff as well, but these are just a couple examples. If I texted her and there weren't already plans, especially plans that were her idea, generally after two attempts without a response I wouldn't have bothered a third time.

So if y'all want to call it pursuing that's fine, but it really was completely logistical.

I should also mention that my comment regarding reading the whole post had more to do with the person I was responding to saying things like if she doesn't call back so be it and if she does we can go from there. I think he missed the she's married part as well as the she asked me out part.

O.K., my two cents.....

First off, I'm sorry to hear about your parents. That cannot be an easy thing.

Now, sorry if the rest of this comes across a bit harsh, but.....as for your OP....I don't care who asked who out initially. After you text her a couple of times with no response, you should have been done. Period. You should have left it to her to contact you. Take it as a lesson to not bother with anyone who doesn't respond reasonably quickly without a good reason as to why. Not once, but twice. First time, her bad, second time, yours.

Think about it. I know if I made plans with someone and couldn't make it, I would be prompt and very apologetic for not making it....wouldn't you? And if not, it says something about that persons general character, no?

Also, again, sorry to be harsh, but at least honest, you are going to have a hard time in the dating world without a ride, and with a dog that needs constant attention. It's just the reality of it. At your (our) age, women are at the point where there kids are grown and gone (or close to it), and they are looking for someone to spend time with....financially secure, all of that.

I know....I have a daughter who has disabilities. I got lucky, and met someone extremely nice, and very patient. Even as nice and compassionate as she is, it was still a major stumbling block as to whether or not she was willing to accept someone who's child will always be with them. We had several long talks....difficult talks.

Everything is good. However, I will tell you that on more than one occasion, my situation either prevented me from a date/relationship.

Again, to your OP, 6 or 7 years ago I dated someone I met at the gym. She was 11 years younger than me with a GREAT body. We went out for about 2 months or so. We went up north for a weekend vaca, she came to gigs, out to dinner, etc. etc..

Well, one day, before a gig, we grabbed lunch and took it to the park. I asked her why, after 2 months of dating, she had never had ME over to HER place...not even to pick her up. I get the whole "single female and cautious" thing, but, I lived in the middle of the woods. I joked that if I had wanted to do anything awful to her, it would have been much easier at my place, where she had spent the night several times. She gave me the "oh no, I'm just being careful...I'm overly cautious about things like that..letting people over my place".

After the gig, and a wild time in the sack....here it comes...."I have to tell you something.". Yes, what is it? "Well, I actually live with somebody, that's why I haven't had you over, do you want me to leave?". It was 3 a.m.. I let her stay, she left later that morning, and that was that. All done. Then SHE got crazy. Told the gym we belonged to I was harassing her, and a bunch of other crazy sh!t. I knew the owner of the gym, and he knew better, so she ended up having to leave the gym.

I don't get women. I don't think any of us men do. Anyway, good luck man. Stay away from the young hot ones, even if they appear to be after YOU. Nothing but problems, as you found out. :thumb:
 

Tone deaf

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When you say Brazilian... I don't think rosewood.
Am I still allowed here?
:D

Well, we never got close enough for wood or an inspection of grooming practices so...

I have spent a lot of time in South America and it seems to me (purely non-scientific study) that more women (than in the US), currently in LTRs, are open to stepping out with another man. I don't go for married women, but as astorfer pointed out, they don't always come right out and tell you that they are in an LTR or married. There are also lots of hot, single moms in the 20-30 age range... or so I have heard.
 

Brians Evil Twin

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After you text her a couple of times with no response, you should have been done. Period. You should have left it to her to contact you. Take it as a lesson to not bother with anyone who doesn't respond reasonably quickly without a good reason as to why. Not once, but twice. First time, her bad, second time, yours.
That's what I was thinking too.

I would also run a quick background check on anyone who I was considering dating unless I knew them for a long time.

Even then, people (men and women) are ridiculously good at selective amnesia when it comes to the stunts they've pulled in the past.
 

acstorfer

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O.K., my two cents.....

First off, I'm sorry to hear about your parents. That cannot be an easy thing.

Now, sorry if the rest of this comes across a bit harsh, but.....as for your OP....I don't care who asked who out initially. After you text her a couple of times with no response, you should have been done. Period. You should have left it to her to contact you. Take it as a lesson to not bother with anyone who doesn't respond reasonably quickly without a good reason as to why. Not once, but twice. First time, her bad, second time, yours.

Think about it. I know if I made plans with someone and couldn't make it, I would be prompt and very apologetic for not making it....wouldn't you? And if not, it says something about that persons general character, no?

Also, again, sorry to be harsh, but at least honest, you are going to have a hard time in the dating world without a ride, and with a dog that needs constant attention. It's just the reality of it. At your (our) age, women are at the point where there kids are grown and gone (or close to it), and they are looking for someone to spend time with....financially secure, all of that.

I know....I have a daughter who has disabilities. I got lucky, and met someone extremely nice, and very patient. Even as nice and compassionate as she is, it was still a major stumbling block as to whether or not she was willing to accept someone who's child will always be with them. We had several long talks....difficult talks.

Everything is good. However, I will tell you that on more than one occasion, my situation either prevented me from a date/relationship.

Again, to your OP, 6 or 7 years ago I dated someone I met at the gym. She was 11 years younger than me with a GREAT body. We went out for about 2 months or so. We went up north for a weekend vaca, she came to gigs, out to dinner, etc. etc..

Well, one day, before a gig, we grabbed lunch and took it to the park. I asked her why, after 2 months of dating, she had never had ME over to HER place...not even to pick her up. I get the whole "single female and cautious" thing, but, I lived in the middle of the woods. I joked that if I had wanted to do anything awful to her, it would have been much easier at my place, where she had spent the night several times. She gave me the "oh no, I'm just being careful...I'm overly cautious about things like that..letting people over my place".

After the gig, and a wild time in the sack....here it comes...."I have to tell you something.". Yes, what is it? "Well, I actually live with somebody, that's why I haven't had you over, do you want me to leave?". It was 3 a.m.. I let her stay, she left later that morning, and that was that. All done. Then SHE got crazy. Told the gym we belonged to I was harassing her, and a bunch of other crazy sh!t. I knew the owner of the gym, and he knew better, so she ended up having to leave the gym.

I don't get women. I don't think any of us men do. Anyway, good luck man. Stay away from the young hot ones, even if they appear to be after YOU. Nothing but problems, as you found out. :thumb:

For the texting I agree, but as I think I mentioned I already figured she was going to flake but I kinda wanted to see what she would come up with. My texts were as follows
1. Hola Carol (hello Carol)
2. Hola Carol (hello Carol)
3. Donde y cuando (where and when)

I would consider those reasonable

As far as her kid, he is 12. Definitely not grown and out of the way. She's actually considerably younger than me.

As far as financially secure, I am quite comfortable. I collect both social security and veteran's disability. I have no mortgage. I have very few bills. I would say from what I spend it probably is around 75% music gear and 25% utilities, entertainment, car and condo insurance (I'm still on top of the car insurance), food, and condo maintenance fees. Oops, I almost forgot, and the cleaning gals ;). Regardless of that, she knows I am 48, single, and with absolutely no intention of ever getting married or wanting children, so as long as I get the check when we go out there's no real issue of finances anyway. As things were when I thought she was single with a kid I wouldn't let her pay for anything.

As far as the car, I have a car but for now I have to wait on some paperwork to register it. In the meantime seeing how this is short term I have no problem renting a car when the need arises. I've been without it a little over a month now. It's actually working out quite well. I live within a mile of a grocery store and shopping center, so between the added walks, carrying a backpack filled with groceries, and the rediculous heat it's actually quite healthy for me. Uber is handy when necessary. Also when my friends drag me out I don't have to drive. That is actually great for me. This way I can take my prescribed dosage amounts of my oxy and morphine. When I have to drive I can't and I'm usually miserable and in a lot of pain.

As far as the dog, I'm more than happy arranging for someone to walk her when I want to go out. It would be an issue if I had to run home every four or five hours, but that's not the case.

You're right about the texts, but it's kind of like a bad movie. Sometimes you, well me, just wants to see it through. If I was the one who asked her out these last two times though, I definitely wouldn't have gone more than two. One to make sure I can get things to organize taken care of. If no response then one more to give her the benefit of a doubt that she didn't run out of battery or whatever similar. No point in three. At that time her phone is lost, busted, or she's not interested.

Not all women are bat poop crazy. I just thought this would be a funny anecdote to share. The first time around I genuinely thought it had to be me. The second time (well weird attempt anyway on her behalf) I was relieved to know it was definitely her. Finding out the rest of the story was hilarious and too funny not to share. Well that's how I felt about it anyway. As things turned out, it was perfect. I had a few fun nights, and I got to unload a bag of crazy azzed drama, all while there was not really any investment made nor deep feelings about her.

Thanks for the kind words about my folks. Also I don't know why you think you came across as harsh? Well I guess you didn't think I had all my ducks in a row and that would make me feel bad? If that's the case no worries. I'm actually quite comfortable, I have steady income, and practically no stress.
 

acstorfer

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That's what I was thinking too.

I would also run a quick background check on anyone who I was considering dating unless I knew them for a long time.

Even then, people (men and women) are ridiculously good at selective amnesia when it comes to the stunts they've pulled in the past.

I knew her over a year so I think that was more than enough time. Well I thought so anyway. Regardless, no, I'm not doing a background check for a date.

Definitely guilty of the selective amnesia! Doesn't matter though. Things worked out, and I have something funny to laugh about.
 

Dolebludger

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The whole story makes perfect sense to me. This girl had to make her plans around when she could get away from her HUSBAND. When you found out that she had a husband, it was high time to bug out of whatever relationship there was. Life is far too short to risk having a big, hacked off Hispanic guy banging on your door. And the fact that she failed to tell you she had a husband or equivalent means the is too untrustworthy to mess with in any way. I encounter hot, interesting single women every day, but I don't mess with them at all because I have a wife! If I feel like one of them is going in a wrong direction, I make it a point to bring up my wife in the conversation. That's what this girl should have done if she had an ounce of decency in her, which she obviously does not. Forget her, and hire some new maids.
 

acstorfer

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The whole story makes perfect sense to me. This girl had to make her plans around when she could get away from her HUSBAND. When you found out that she had a husband, it was high time to bug out of whatever relationship there was. Life is far too short to risk having a big, hacked off Hispanic guy banging on your door. And the fact that she failed to tell you she had a husband or equivalent means the is too untrustworthy to mess with in any way. I encounter hot, interesting single women every day, but I don't mess with them at all because I have a wife! If I feel like one of them is going in a wrong direction, I make it a point to bring up my wife in the conversation. That's what this girl should have done if she had an ounce of decency in her, which she obviously does not. Forget her, and hire some new maids.

Actually it was over before I found out. The married part I just found out a couple days ago. That was the part, well that and her own proclaimed best friend calling her a crazy B and went on how she doesn't like her, that made me laugh my ass off about it. Things actually made sense after that.

The other two maids aren't going anywhere. They do a great job, and more importantly I trust them in my home. Carol was the same way as well. I know her work ethic and I know she wouldn't steal from me. If it was just the flakiness I probably would have asked her back to clean. Unfortunately, the other stuff will never let me trust her again. That and the other two don't like being around her so it's win all around.
 

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