How Do You Know When You’ve Met That Certain Forum Member?

FrankieOliver

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What is your certain forum member like? You know, the one whose presence has you all excited and leaves you feeling special and good about yourself…

:hmm:

You knew you were in love the first time you both agreed on something, or agreed to disagree. Perhaps you were in error, he kindly corrected you or assaulted you with a vengeance and showed you the light; you saw his reason and apologized with all your heart and soul. Or visa versa. You had each other at “I apologize, I was wrong,” and never looked back. Submission is bliss, isn’t it!

Perhaps it was a completely different scenario altogether. You saw that photo of him with his beautiful axe, or his cover video. This is, after all, a guitar forum. You were thinking: “Oh, man, he’s the one. I want to be just like him someday. I want his top and his tone and no other’s, not even Slash’s. Fuck that silly-assed hat anyway!”

What about that certain someone’s avatar? It’s brilliant, isn’t it? Isn't that all you need to know about him? Oh, how you love his avatar. And oh how it depresses you when he changes it, leaving your heart torn asunder. Dark days indeed! It is probably best to build a repertoire of avatar affections. If one terribly disappoints, you may find yourself signing off feeling gloomy and we don’t want that.

Does that certain someone make you laugh…a lot? No matter what he posts? Is he the source of all your shits and giggles? You thank the shit out of him for leaving you in stitches. Sure you do. After all, laughter is the best medicine. It’s a good feeling, isn’t it? Just don’t break his heart. He may go all John Wayne Gacy on you when you break it off with him. We wouldn’t want you all broken up over it.

Do you have the most profound sense that the certain someone in the forum is a bodhisattva? Do you fantasize about working together on some really groovy, tantric blues or heavy metal piece - all about having the higher viewpoint in all of your human, animal and plant encounters and exchanges? I know, I know, I do too. I never feel as good about myself as when that certain member posts his thoughts. He is, therefore I am too!

Is your special someone the devil’s advocate? Is it this devil’s advocate that makes you do that voodoo that you do? Do you get all tingly and carried away to both sides of an argument when the devil’s advocate appears to work his magic? Have you found yourself chanting, lighting candles, covering yourself in mud and dancing naked before his multi-paragraphed rebuttal posts? Yes you do and you ought to – he’s the forum equivalent of Jeckle and Hyde and you are also developing your multiple personalities. Go with it. It’s a gift living as two completely different people. Think of the possibilities.

An anglophile, are you? Are you desperately in love with a British or a Scottish member? Do you take every opportunity to post in his thread because you fantasize about jamming together with your acoustics on Ben Nevis or the dreamy shores of Loch Lomond or the Thames someday? Perhaps you’d like to go to Bath on holiday with that certain someone and drink single malt out of a snifter? Have you’ve been to Long John Silver’s for fish and chips a little more than usual lately. You really do like tweed, don’t you? Don’t feel ashamed; you’ve got exceptional taste.

Is that certain forum member a bad-ass? Is it bikes, tats, beer, assault rifles and nines; sex, drugs and rock and roll? Is it reformation and cosmic conversion after having spent a little time in the joint that excites you then? Do you dream of sitting helmetless and completely deaf on the back of his side-shot Hog, riding down Highway 66, your hands tightly wrapped around his beer belly and giving child-filled Minivans the finger without fear of reprisal? He’s packing, your packing; good times, man! Fuck yeah. Good on you.

At first glance, the angry bastard may seem like the last person you’d want to be that certain someone. Those in the music business who’ve had their fill of such characters will very likely steer you away from him. That may seem like great advice and they’re probably right. But look at it this way: You’re looking for love and deep down inside, so is the angry bastard. You’re just starting out and the angry bastard has a lot of pent-up rage. After all, music is about feelings, isn’t it? Give the angry bastard a chance and see if you can’t capitalize on what’s inside of him. What have you got to lose? That single selfish act may be your winning, musical lottery ticket.

The science and especially the astronomer types, not to be confused with the Mensa types, are an exceptional catch. They take time to stop and smell the roses and have no problem letting the world know that there is life beyond their Les Paul, but be careful. They study the universe with a fiery zeal and you may not always be the star in that constellation they’ve got their eyes on this evening. They’ve an appreciation of greater possibilities and dabble relentlessly in probabilities, unaltered by threats of infinity, but their commitment to greater awareness may lead you into a black hole. Paradoxically, there may be infinite possibilities. Your searching anyway, aren’t you?

The Gearu may be just the person for you, if you’re a newbie and eager. His undying love of gear is not restricted to Marshall amps, RS Vintage Works pots and standard fender picks. You’ve got a solid state amp? Fear not; he’ll not belittle you. He may be blunt about you being in sole charge of your tonal destiny, but you want honesty in your relationship, don’t you? Listen to him and love him for his apparent authenticity, but when he pms you about getting together to jam, slow ride – take it easy, particularly if you’re bi-polar. He may be, too and scheduling threads may be problematic. You know he buys and sells gear regularly, so he may not have enough money for take-out. You might want more, but hey, this is the music business you’re a hopeful romantic after all.

So, have you met your certain someone on the forum? What is he or she like?

:hmm: :D
 

VictorB

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[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NNC0kIzM1Fo]YouTube - John Paul Young - Love Is In The Air (1978)[/ame]
 

BOBBO

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Are we talking about a Bromance here ??? :naughty::laugh2:
 

Phil47uk

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I had no idea Vasco had this effect on some people.. :shock:




.
 

Drudeboy

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I told you before VB, I am spoken for ffs.
 

John Vasco

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I had no idea Vasco had this effect on some people.. :shock:

Hey, don't knock the Vasco persona.

Young girls fought each other for my affections when I was young.

28u33et.jpg


She came out on top (literally... :laugh2:)
 

Cookie-boy

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VB has been on the piss all day! His artistic bent is flourishing!:thumb:
 

Phil47uk

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Hey, don't knock the Vasco persona.

Young girls fought each other for my affections when I was young.

28u33et.jpg


She came out on top (literally... :laugh2:)

What on earth did the poor woman do to deserve that fate?


.
 

The_Sentry

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A good traveller leaves no trail to be followed
A good speaker leaves no question to be asked
A good accountant leaves no working to be checked
A good container leaves no lock to be picked
A good fastener leaves no knot to be unravelled

So the sage nurtures all men
And abandons no one.
He accepts everything
And rejects nothing.
He attends to the smallest details.

So the strong must guide the weak,
For the weak are raw material to the strong.
If the guide is not respected
Or the material is not nurtured
Confusion will result, no matter how clever one is.
This is the essence of subtlety.


~Lao Tzu
 

EtriX

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Doesn't this say it all :D
 
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