Helen Keller jokes never get old...

kevinpaul

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I am sick of blonde jokes, I really miss Polish jokes. I love blondes.
I was late for work, Helen Keller drove past the place.
 

SLewis

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How did Hellen Keller break her arm?

She tried to read a stop sign while going 55mph.

.
 

jtees4

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I am sick of blonde jokes, I really miss Polish jokes. I love blondes.
I was late for work, Helen Keller drove past the place.

Well then...my favorite Polish joke of all time, and not one you hear every day (and told to me by a Polish friend of course:
A Polish girl comes home and tells her Mother she is pregnant. And her Mother says..."Are you sure it's yours???"
 

Bluesky

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hahahaha,...so wrong.


Speaking of,..I just read the most wrong joke I ever heard.


"I met this woman at a bar and she was like, "I wouldn't have sex with you if you were the last man on earth!" .... well I told her,...if I'm the last man on earth,...WHO'S GONNA STOP ME?!"



...soooo wrong. I felt bad for laughing.
Ummmmm, a woman Cop? :hmm::wave:
 

Cruznolfart

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One night when I was in my early 20s, while out drinking with friends, I took the liberty of sitting in the wheelchair of a disabled woman we'd just met. She had let herself down to the floor and was playing cards, or something, I disremember exactly what. All of a sudden, I found myself lying on my back, facing the ceiling, having been dumped outta the wheelchair by its owner. I didn't take long for me to realize how incredibly insensitive and boorish I had been, drunk or otherwise.

I was humiliated and aplogized profusely to the woman. That was over 40 years ago and I've never forgotten it. Our realities were so indescribably different but I didn't give a thought to that until I got pitched on my ass. And, in spite of a few minor issues I've developed over the years since that time, I've been constantly grateful for the comparitive wholeness of my body. I also realize, at my present age and condition, that it won't be long 'till I need someone younger and more supple of limb to do some of the things I've always done around my place myself. That's not an easy place for me to go.

It must be very challenging to even get out of bed every day if you're faced with no ability to see, hear or speak. But at least you wouldn't have to bear witness to the insenstivity of those less challenged than you as they gloat in their wholeness. What a lucky person, eh?
 

57VOS

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Well, I guess it's okay to tell loud, nasty jokes about the handicapped. I guess the handicapped are in the same boat as the American Indian.
 

HRC

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Why does Helen Keller wear skin tight pants?
So you can read her lips!
 

HRC

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Why does Helen Keller masturbate with one hand?
So she can moan with the other.
 

NeptuneBlue

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One night when I was in my early 20s, while out drinking with friends, I took the liberty of sitting in the wheelchair of a disabled woman we'd just met. She had let herself down to the floor and was playing cards, or something, I disremember exactly what. All of a sudden, I found myself lying on my back, facing the ceiling, having been dumped outta the wheelchair by its owner. I didn't take long for me to realize how incredibly insensitive and boorish I had been, drunk or otherwise.

I was humiliated and aplogized profusely to the woman. That was over 40 years ago and I've never forgotten it. Our realities were so indescribably different but I didn't give a thought to that until I got pitched on my ass. And, in spite of a few minor issues I've developed over the years since that time, I've been constantly grateful for the comparitive wholeness of my body. I also realize, at my present age and condition, that it won't be long 'till I need someone younger and more supple of limb to do some of the things I've always done around my place myself. That's not an easy place for me to go.

It must be very challenging to even get out of bed every day if you're faced with no ability to see, hear or speak. But at least you wouldn't have to bear witness to the insenstivity of those less challenged than you as they gloat in their wholeness. What a lucky person, eh?
Playing the guilt card? Yeah... we've already established the fact that we're going to hell.

I make fun of myself for my own disability, or infirmity or whatever the phuck you wanna call it. I get my own race. Then my friends are all "racist" towards me and we all wind up laughing. Making light out of it is part of my way of dealing with it though.

The moral of this story... I really don't know, I'm sure you can figure one out though. Then again... I'm not everyone. Scratch that. No moral for you. Carry on sh!tting on thread.
 

57VOS

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Why is it acceptable to tell disparaging jokes about the handicapped here?

If you were all telling disparaging jokes about other disadvantaged groups here you'd be dogpiled on by the whole MLP community and then banned.

Can anyone explain the dichotomy?
 

HRC

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Why is it acceptable to tell disparaging jokes about the handicapped here?

If you were all telling disparaging jokes about other disadvantaged groups here you'd be dogpiled on by the whole MLP community and then banned.

Can anyone explain the dichotomy?
Take a nap you're whining like a baby that's tired. :laugh2:
 

57VOS

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Groups that we are allowed to disparage on MLP:

1) White people.
2) American Indians.
3) The Handicapped.

Groups that we are not allowed to disparage on MLP:

1) African-Americans.
2) Homosexuals.
3) Jews.
 

waboe

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An African American a Jew and a Homosexual walk into a bar........................................................







Nah even I'm not that stupid!
 

waboe

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and the barman says fVck off Even I'm not touching this one!:lol:
 




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