Guitars and Divorce

madmusicltd

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I am awaiting with anticipation for my divorce to be final in court later this year. It was brought to my attention earlier last year (by the opposing lawyer at my pretrial) that I did not list my guitars in my financial statement, and her lawyer had them "appraised" at a value of at least 10K? I did have to move out of the marital home for a bit, so there was a time when this could have happened, but c'mon..?. Some of these instruments I owned before I married her as well... and without details, could this be determined by photos? I am not going to speculate the value, but it seems she is looking for an extra 5K... Just another little thing to sour life as it is bad enough trying to gain 1/2 custody of my children, and the worst part is the state has the power to decide all of these things, and my lawyer is by biggest expense right now (lawyers are raping us)! sorry just venting hopefully 2020 will be better...
 

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Ghostman

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Depending on the State, assets are assets regardless of who uses them. Seems like the guitars are now in play, which would require some sort of appraisal to back up any claims of value.

Having owned some of the prior to your union, I have no idea how that plays out in the courts.
 

Tone deaf

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Personal effects and gifts are typically excluded from marital assets. All of the ones you had before you were married were given to you, correct? So, they are out. As for the rest, low ball them.

Does she have any valuable jewelry or valuable stuff? Is it itemized?
 

Tim Plains

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Did you sign a prenup? If not, everything is 50/50 (more like 70/30 her :laugh2:) and what you owned before marrying her is irrelevant. If you won a million dollars before getting married, half is hers.
 

Howard2k

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You both lose and the lawyers win.

I'm not sure of the relevant laws in MA, but your lawyer will be able to clearly and simply let you know if this is an issue. This is simple stuff, it doesn't need a 3 page letter or a 1 hour phone call. It's in scope or out of scope.

Good luck.
 

madmusicltd

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we will see how it plays out, I do have equipment, as I work part time as a musician, and it is part of my income.
 

Shred Astaire

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Did you sign a prenup? If not, everything is 50/50 (more like 70/30 her :laugh2:) and what you owned before marrying her is irrelevant. If you won a million dollars before getting married, half is hers.
That's not the case in Canada as far as I can tell. I just went through this and I went into the marriage with more "stuff" and because of this, my ex-wife had to make an equalization payment to balance it out. We were married for 10 years.... of course this could be different in a 20 year marriage. I don't know enough about it....all I know is I got paid. :)
 

Bytor1958

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Personal effects and gifts are typically excluded from marital assets. All of the ones you had before you were married were given to you, correct? So, they are out. As for the rest, low ball them.

Does she have any valuable jewelry or valuable stuff? Is it itemized?
This. Find anything she has of value and do the same thing. Even her vehicle. Her pots and pans. Down the penny if you have too. Nick pick it to death. That's what her lawyer will do and is doing.

Divorce can be a all out war. I've been through 2.
 
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madmusicltd

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You both lose and the lawyers win.

I'm not sure of the relevant laws in MA, but your lawyer will be able to clearly and simply let you know if this is an issue. This is simple stuff, it doesn't need a 3 page letter or a 1 hour phone call. It's in scope or out of scope.

Good luck.
I contact my lawyer only when necessary, we are focusing on trying to get me 1/2 parental custody, I am not getting my hopes up
 

Shred Astaire

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That's not the case in Canada as far as I can tell. I just went through this and I went into the marriage with more "stuff" and because of this, my ex-wife had to make an equalization payment to balance it out. We were married for 10 years.... of course this could be different in a 20 year marriage. I don't know enough about it....all I know is I got paid. :)
Hmm as I think about this, it may only apply to actual $$ in bank accounts, RRSPs, TFSAs etc...maybe not assets.
 

madmusicltd

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It kills me, the two lawyers know each other, I see them chat in court, they are playing us to pay them, my back is up against the wall as I know nothing of marital law, and they do. They both are looking at our financial statements, but not sharing and info. All I know is there will be not more GAS for me...
 

Howard2k

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It kills me, the two lawyers know each other, I see them chat in court, they are playing us to pay them, my back is up against the wall as I know nothing of marital law, and they do. They both are looking at our financial statements, but not sharing and info. All I know is there will be not more GAS for me...
Can't put a price on freedom. If it's a case of giving her the $5k and then being done and free, I'd probably consider doing it. $5k is not a large sum, especially in the longer term.
 

Tone deaf

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I guess it varies from state to state on custody. We have shared custody, but she is the "Custodial" (or some other similar term) parent because our minor child lives primarily with her. The only two stipulations I had to the divorce were: 1) absolutely no restrictions on when and how I see my kids (obviously respecting her private property) and 2) absolutely no mention of one another on social media...ever (without prior, written consent).
 

madmusicltd

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that 5k is just what she expects from my guitar collection, not the entire marital estate

I have already given her a hefty advance towards the estate, so she could buy a house :rolleyes:
 

Olds442

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do you know why divorce is so expensive?

because it's worth it.

hang in there, you'll get through it and you'll be free-er than now. there's always the kids and put them and their needs first. no matter what games she plays. hang in there, there is a good future ahead of you.
 

Howard2k

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that 5k is just what she expects from my guitar collection, not the entire marital estate :rolleyes:

For sure. But what I mean is that if that's the final thing, if it's $5k and then it's done, then it might be worth just paying the $5k. I'm not trying to convince you to do so, and I don't know the situation, but sometimes it's too easy to nickel and dime over every little thing and lose sight of the big picture (getting closure).
 

Shred Astaire

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For sure. But what I mean is that if that's the final thing, if it's $5k and then it's done, then it might be worth just paying the $5k. I'm not trying to convince you to do so, and I don't know the situation, but sometimes it's too easy to nickel and dime over every little thing.
From what I understand, the nickel and diming ends up costing more in the long run with lawyer fees etc.

Stand your ground on what's important but pick them battles.
 

madmusicltd

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Agreed, my goal (battle) is what is best for the kids.

But I didn't start a family to be alone and away from them, and then have the state decide for me who is the custodial parent, then have to pay support based on the decision that the state makes. My only hope is how good my lawyer is moving forward, and how sympathetic the judge is on my account as we are both good parents...
 

Bytor1958

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that 5k is just what she expects from my guitar collection, not the entire marital estate

I have already given her a hefty advance towards the estate, so she could buy a house :rolleyes:
IMO don't give her anything until it's divided. That's how both of mine worked.

Nothing is split or given until it's settled.
 


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