Gig difficulties and advice thread

X–Ray

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Your effort is commendable

Just ask the drummer for a date and be done with it

Then move on
 

Lungo

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You should have told them before leaving the gig that you were done untill the other guitar player comes up to speed. I would have had no problem explaining that I don't expect him to spend a ton of money on a guitar but if you're going to play a POS at least take enough pride in what you do to keep the thing in tune.
 

jcsk8

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I apreciate the fact you took your time to teach him and had patience with them. I already have been in both, band with much better players and band where I can play all the instruments better they can, but remember all of us started some day.
 

Stevie 202

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I've never had things go that badly.

The ship is sinking dude, jump off it.

In a couple weeks contact the singer and drummer and see if they want to "jam."

....slowly steal them for yourself.

Congrats. You're now the Leader.


LOL!

Did that once. Simply dissolved the band, went our separate ways and then re-formed the band without the troublesome member.

Actually it was pretty obvious, but what can ya do?

If it happened today I'd just say my piece, collect my band members and move ahead.

Honesty's the best policy and all that jazz.....
 

River

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Not much I can add, but I won't even jam, much less be in a band, with someone who goes 1/2-step+ out of tune and just keeps on grinding out verses, much less songs. That, I've experienced. Bad gear is not sufficient justification for that. The newb mistakes, he'll probably get past. Having no ear at his age (forget experience, I've got very little myself) would leave me little hope.

I would ask him to try his acoustic. I did the very same for a different reason (bad ear for electric "tone", not tones - the guy's pitch ear is excellent), and we make one hell of a duet. But our covers aren't mimics, either.

PS: Good on you for the mentoring effort, even if your motives are suspect. :naughty:

PPS: At one of my first solo open mic performances, I cut my signal by stepping on my noise gate. I didn't even know I HAD stepped on it, so I had no clue what had gone wrong. I just stopped, laughed at myself, and talked to the audience a bit while I figured out WTF I'd done. If I'd been with a band, I'd have expected them to a) stop too or b) finish the song without me. Which would have been better would depend on the song.
 

bscenefilms

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As has been said - very cool that you stuck it out and tried to put the guy on the right track. That being said I will offer you the single word that I always utter when I roll off of the wife: NEXT!
 

ErictheRed

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Holy crap I'm surprised that so many of you read that long post and responded!! Thank you all; damn I just needed to vent.

Mostly I felt like an asshole when I sent an angry email behind the guitarist's back, and I suppose I was a bit of an asshole for that. In the more polite version this morning that I sent to him, I admitted that I had vented my frustration to the others without him knowing and apologized for that. I also told him that would play the Halloween gig we've committed to if and only if he gets a real guitar. I told him I'd help him find one on Craigslist (linked him to some nice looking Studios for $600ish), mentioned that Guitar Center has a very generous return policy, etc.

Hmm, I had told him to loop his cable through his strap at a practice but I didn't think about it at the gig...only so many things I could do.

Anyway I'm done with him after Halloween. The others might be, too (and they are quite good), but I think the singer and drummer are in a bit of a tough spot because, as I said, they work for the guy. And he's a genuinely likeable, nice guy, but that doesn't mean he should be your guitarist!! And yeah, I realized that he just sucks when he came back from vacation, but at that point I had committed to some gigs and thought I could get him in tune and strumming some chords at least. I feel responsible and the need to fix things, even when I shouldn't.

Lastly, about the drummer: I may ask her out. I've enjoyed playing music with her and we went Halloween shopping once and I genuinely enjoy her company. However, I haven't hit on her or anything. Not from cowardice, but I was divorced a year ago, and well...this girl is not one that I'm trying to mess around with, I respect her too much, she's too intelligent (vet student), talented, etc. If I ask her out it'll be more serious, and I don't know if I want that, but I enjoy being around her.

Pics and possible sound clips later :). I feel SOO much better, thank you all.
 

River

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Vet student?! :shock:

Yeah, she's smart alright. I like your style Eric. Can't say I wouldn't vent to the others behind his back, though probably not in writing. The reality is that there is a time and place for consensus-building, and it's often the best course of action. No one can judge without knowing both the circumstances and personalities involved. If you judged yourself harshly, I guess you deserved it. :dunno:

It's an engaging little tale, with the right number of paragraphs. If neither were true, I would not have read it.
 

ErictheRed

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We had a photographer take some pictures during our first set that I haven't seen yet (I think the bass player will get them). Anyway, here's a picture I snapped with my phone: my rig right before we started! Can't see the pedals, but oh well. That little red light on my amp is so beautiful, I can't explain it...it just says something like "Come, plug into me, and kick ass..."

Huh, I really need to change my avatar...

And thanks Riv.
 

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ErictheRed

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Oh and here's the drummer, so you can see why my judgement is a bit whacked. Don't ask for more, that's all you get :).
 

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MyLeftyPaul

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Nothing to add, the experts have spoken, just want to commend you on your honorable and professional (sans the e-mail :) and the hidden agenda on the drummer :D) actions. As for the drummer, good luck with her.

One thing though, you said the guy was the boss of the singer and the drummer. Can he become a manager rather than a performer in the band? Maybe he'll be more effective in booking gigs for you. :naughty:
 

ErictheRed

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Maybe...he's a veterinarian, and the head of a small vet hospital. As likeable and nice as he is, I wonder if he's surrounded by a bunch of "yes men" that affects other areas of his life (guitar playing).
 

MyLeftyPaul

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Cool, send him over this side of the planet where Vets are badly needed. :) The ranch is vast, the herd will not mind his guitar playing ability. We can accommodate the drummer as well... I kid!

Probably you're right on the "yes man" thing. So you better do it.
 

Electroman67

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Run Forrest Run !!!!! Cripes man.....first of all, if it sounds that bad, you need to audio or video rehearsals and/or gigs. Maybe and just maybe....if you show him or let him hear how bad he sounds being out of tune, he'll thank you for taking the time for showing him he's really suckin, make the appropriate changes and move on.

Regarding the cute drummer, don't shit where you eat, it will never work out if you play guitar for them and you're bangin the drummer. Choose one or the other, if you're bangin the drummer and not playing for them, you can have olympic style hog rootin sex and not worry bout how this may affect the band, and believe me, it will affect the band. If you're playin guitar for them, you're gonna be babysittin a guitarist you dont wanna be babysittin while daydreamin bout bangin the drummer but the constant out of tune guitar will ruin your daydreams of hog rootin her.

Make an executive decision and decide guitar or guts? You can chase the guts while playin guitar but you'd better be honest w/ her cuz she's gonna cut you off of the guts once you take the guitar out of the equation. If she's not interested in you, then make teaching that guy tuning/intonation your priority so you guys sound good together and just fap on her sticks when you get the chance. :thumb:
 

ErictheRed

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I'm disappointed the drummer pictures didn't get more likes...most people didn't read that far, I guess.

I'm done after Halloween, and I explained (politely, this time), why. I also apologized to the other guitar player in front of the whole band and told him that I had expressed my frustration to the others without his knowledge and that I was sorry for that.

My first, behind-the-back email was pretty heated. I either lost some respect or gained a lot of respect for it--not sure which, and don't much care. I think that everything I said was true, but I regret the way I phrased a few things (in anger) and how I chose to express it (by email).

I've got a great Halloween costume, no-one will recognize me, and this time I will set up on the other side of the stage, leaving him alone to crash and burn if it comes to that--I genuinely hope it doesn't, though. He's buying a new guitar (I think a Studio) and hopefully won't pull his instrument cable out this time. I'm just going to try to have as much fun at Halloween as I can, stay in costume so no-one recognizes me, and drink free beer :). Wish me luck...

After that, I'll cool off for a little while and decide if I want to ask the drummer out for dinner or drinks or whatever.
 

ledzepp2122

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I'm disappointed the drummer pictures didn't get more likes...most people didn't read that far, I guess.

I'm done after Halloween, and I explained (politely, this time), why. I also apologized to the other guitar player in front of the whole band and told him that I had expressed my frustration to the others without his knowledge and that I was sorry for that.

My first, behind-the-back email was pretty heated. I either lost some respect or gained a lot of respect for it--not sure which, and don't much care. I think that everything I said was true, but I regret the way I phrased a few things (in anger) and how I chose to express it (by email).

I've got a great Halloween costume, no-one will recognize me, and this time I will set up on the other side of the stage, leaving him alone to crash and burn if it comes to that--I genuinely hope it doesn't, though. He's buying a new guitar (I think a Studio) and hopefully won't pull his instrument cable out this time. I'm just going to try to have as much fun at Halloween as I can, stay in costume so no-one recognizes me, and drink free beer :). Wish me luck...

After that, I'll cool off for a little while and decide if I want to ask the drummer out for dinner or drinks or whatever.

Good luck with that.
 

Thundergod

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I've experienced it a lot.

It can be frustrating but it can also be an oportunity for you to teach them some stuff and learn some from them.

First thing is to tell the guy to pull his cable through the strap first and then plug it in, that way if he steps on it it won't be pulled off as easy as it did.

Second: tuner is a must, no matter if you are one of those perfect pitch guys (I am close to that, and I always use a tuner).

Third: don't ever see the drummer (or any female band member) in that way, it only leads to trouble.

4th: have fun, be patient, not everyone was born knowing and they'll be grateful once they've seen the light.

5th: if you are convinced that that is not the band for you, leave.
 

X–Ray

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__________________

**** it

I'm asking the drummer out

Too late!

:laugh2:
 

Thundergod

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One more thing: that band, like most, needs what down here we call an artistic director. You can be that guy.
 


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