Funny, Odd or disgusting things that happened at work-

[bildozr]

US Army.

I've seen entire stalls covered in shit. I've witnessed people piss on themselves.

I've seen more cocks in my time in service than I have seen vaginas in my entire life.

Of course that's leaving the homoerotic shit out. As anti-gay as the military behaves, I've been goosed one to many times to not think contrary.

 

[Gin&Pentatonic]

I worked in the grocery business for about 7 years in Houston...people don't believe me when I tell them all the things I saw there.

Oh, I believe you. I have about 15 friends who worked in grocery stores in their youth, myself included, here in Houston.

 

[Gin&Pentatonic]

So it seems to be the case that if you're a total filthy horndog, the restaurant business is for you?

 

[Maynar]

I work in a prison with a large number of inmates with psych issues.

So here goes, I've seen inmates: gouge his own eye out;
tear off all his finger nails and hand them to me;
bite parts of his arm off;
tear off his testicles;
Never a dull moment.

Reminiscent of the third season of Sons of Anarchy where the guy in prison (name escapes ATM) bites his tongue off by slamming his chin on the table.

Art imitating life, I guess. Yikes.

 

[broke_player]

I was a busboy once. I was the FNG at the restaurant so it was me who drew the short straw to clean out the women's restroom one afternoon.

I went in to see what I would need. As soon as I walked in I could already see the sh!t on the floor under the toilet. I opened the stall door and it was everywhere except in the bowl. It was an ungodly amount. Sprayed on the wall and the floor. After I finished I went home to take a shower

 

[Brazilnut]

Oooo! I can smell it from here!

 

[Meatwad]

All I can say is that really bad things happen in bathrooms - especially when you let a thousand or so too many people into a facility than you should.

Poop.

So much poop.

 

[MenaceMartin]

I work in a hospital. Where do i start?

I'll spare you the "disgusting" things this time round, and i'll tell you something funny which happened a few days ago:

I was sitting at the nurses station on the computer on Wednesday morning, and as usual, as the patients are waking up, getting washed etc, the hearing aids start to get put in, and for those who know anything about hearing aids, they squeal (feedback) like crazy until you put them in your ear.

So, as you'd guess, there is always the odd squeal here and there, however, this time round there was constant squealing from one patients room just 10ft down the corridor from where i'm sitting. A nurse, coming to investigate, looks in and says "D...Derek! What are you doing!". She came out the room a minute later trying to hide her laughter, and said "I think he's getting a little confused... he just tried to put his nasal cannula in his ear and his hearing aid up his nose".

You may laugh, but by golly, it feels bad to laugh. Poor guy!

 

[lucidspoon]

Only thing that's happened here was that I think someone was jerking it in the bathroom stall...

But with my wife being an RN, I get to hear ALL kinds of stories. Probably the worst was the woman who was still prostituting even though ALL her skin was falling off from doing too many drugs.

 

[Peeker]

Only thing that's happened here was that I think someone was jerking it in the bathroom stall...

But with my wife being an RN, I get to hear ALL kinds of stories. Probably the worst was the woman who was still prostituting even though ALL her skin was falling off from doing too many drugs.

that may have been me, I've done that at various jobs over the years.

*edit*
the guy in the bathroom stall, not the hooker.

 

[mdubya]

I was doing my secretary backdoor style one afternoon... no, it's too disgusting... I can't tell...

True story though.

 

[Caleb]

Some funny stuff here, guys. Thanks for the laughs.

 

[JeffBlue]

Many years ago..........far,far away from some of you........I was working at Rockwell International Downey in Metrology. We were celebrating something and we had chocolate cake with chocolate frosting. One of the technicians had an idea. He went into the men's room and got some toilet paper as if to wipe. He then placed a piece of cake on the toilet paper and went into one of the stalls and waited for some unsuspecting utilizer. Someone came in and while they were washing their hands, the technician came out of the stall with the cake on toilet paper and then took a bite. He then exclaims "This tastes like sh*t!" The poor guy quickly ran out of the men's room and the tech told us what happened. Lotta laughs.

 

[mdubya]

I was a busboy once. I was the FNG at the restaurant so it was me who drew the short straw to clean out the women's restroom one afternoon.

I went in to see what I would need. As soon as I walked in I could already see the sh!t on the floor under the toilet. I opened the stall door and it was everywhere except in the bowl. It was an ungodly amount. Sprayed on the wall and the floor. After I finished I went home to take a shower

That is a job I would have walked out on unless they were willing to give me some sort of hazmat level of salary.

 

[Brazilnut]

That is a job I would have walked out on unless they were willing to give me some sort of hazmat level of salary.

And a hazmat suit and breather to go with it! Ye Gods!!!

 

[Kalamazuu]

Nothing close to anything, and really just bizarre.
Corn detasseling, a kid was hit by a deer. Like, a deer ran into him in the field. Broke his leg.

 

[Alligatorbling]

well, i work in the ER.... so....

 

[danohat]

My brother and I have a swimming pool service business. We were opening a pool in the middle of the woods where a few opposums had gotten in and drown. So I got my big net on the pole and I scoop the first one out from the bottom. As I get it to the top of the water to lift it out, it completely turns into a pile of pink liquid guts and goes right through the net. We started gagging uncontrollably. There were still two left and the water had big pink piles of liquid guts in it. We had to smell this for the next 2 hours.

 

[Blues4U]

Nothing close to anything, and really just bizarre.
Corn detasseling, a kid was hit by a deer. Like, a deer ran into him in the field. Broke his leg.

As a fellow veteran corn de tasseller, you can attest to the fact that every kid in the country should spend a few weeks in the corn fields if the mid west in July. It will cleanse the soul.

 

[Thumpalumpacus]

I managed a porn shop for six years.

I spent four years in the service as a firefighter.

I pulled graveyards at a 7-Eleven, for a year.

I've got a few stories.