FUCK! My next door neighbour died today...

John Vasco

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Situation: Man and wife in their early '60s, with her 93 year-old father living with them.

What happened: Just before 12:30 pm today, her father knocked on our door and when I answered he asked if I could help as his daughter had collapsed. Her husband was at work.
I grabbed my phone and called to my 16 year-old grandson to come with me just thinking that she had fainted.
We went next door into the lounge and she was slumped on the floor in a kneeling position, her body arched forward from the waist with her head nearly touching the floor. I immediately thought 'Shit! She's dead!' I phoned 999 immediately (USA 911), and the phone operator, once I had explained things, said that an ambulance was on the way. He asked if we could get her on her back, but she was in a very confined space so that was hard to do. I got another neighbour to try to help me, without much success.
Grandson raised her head and placed his hand in front of her mouth and nose - nothing, no air. He said her face was purple in part and also very pallid.
Ambulances came, and the medics spent about 45 minutes doing CPR, oxygen, adrenalin, but ultimately had to give up as there was no response whatsoever.
The Team Leader then had to explain to the 93 year-old very gently that after all their efforts, they could not save his daughter.
In the meantime, her husband had been contacted at work and he was on his way back home.
By this time myself and two neighbours were outside the house, having got out of the way of the medics as soon as they arrived.
Police were called as this was an 'unexpected death' - standard practise.
As me and my grandson were present from very near the beginning, the Policeman 'interviewed' us for a couple of minutes later to get the details of what we found, position of her body, etc..
I regret now taking my grandson into a scene where someone had died of a heart attack only a few minutes before. I didn't realise...

FUCK..................
 

rockstar232007

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Condolences to her family, and sorry you and your grandson had to deal with that type of situation.

I grew up with an uncle who worked in a morgue, so I'm no stranger to death, but definitely wouldn't want to see it, if I didn't have to.
 

Bobby Mahogany

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I regret now taking my grandson into a scene where someone had died of a heart attack only a few minutes before. I didn't realise...
You did what you thought was right at the time of the call for help
and you did the right thing, getting the most help the faster you could.
Just make sure your grandson is OK. Maybe talk to a social worker
to learn the right approach to taper the situation and signs to watch for in the next few days, weeks.
My Best to you!
:thumb:
 

dave b

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Sorry that happened to you, John. At least you tried, and your grandson will take it in stride I'm sure. At 16, he knows old people die, and to him, she was really old. Ask him what he thinks about it.
 

John Vasco

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You did what you thought was right at the time of the call for help
and you did the right thing, getting the most help the faster you could.
Just make sure your grandson is OK. Maybe talk to a social worker
to learn the right approach to taper the situation and signs to watch for in the next few days, weeks.
My Best to you!
:thumb:
He's a good lad, made of strong stuff.

Here he is a few months ago with my daughter, his aunty.
DSCN0156a.JPG
 

Fiat Lux

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You can’t shield all children from everything and death is just another part of life. As others have said the context in which this all occurred was tragic but not gross, morbid or disrespectful. As well as death your grandson saw good people doing good things in a most difficult and unexpected situation. Children can be very resilient.

Talk to him about it. You may be surprised by how mature his view of this event is, but also make sure to let him know it’s ok to feel like sh1t when you’ve just been through something like this.

Are you ok John?

cheers.
 

John Vasco

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You can’t shield all children from everything and death is just another part of life. As others have said the context in which this all occurred was tragic but not gross, morbid or disrespectful. As well as death your grandson saw good people doing good things in a most difficult and unexpected situation. Children can be very resilient.

Talk to him about it. You may be surprised by how mature his view of this event is, but also make sure to let him know it’s ok to feel like sh1t when you’ve just been through something like this.

Are you ok John?

cheers.
Good post.

We've talked things though already. He's a very mature lad for his age.

I'm fine. Dealt with something similar (but slightly different) when I was at work decades ago as a Manager in a Social Security office paying state benefits. When the office was closed and all of the public have left, the messenger goes around the public area to check on everything. One time he comes into my office and tells me that he couldn't open one of the toilet doors. So we go in and I stand on the pan of the other and look over. Guy slumped against the door. Ambulance called - the guy's taken off in an ambulance, and one of the ambulance crew told me he was dead. He'd jacked up in the toilet, O/Ded and slumped aginst the door, had been dead since lunchtime.
 

SteveC

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Damn... sorry to hear that John. It sucks for everyone. Condolences all the way around.
 

guitar_randy

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Better to have the boy learn to respond and make an attempt to aid and assist as you did than to leave for some one else or the next guy like some people would do. It's a good lesson learned by the youngster in correct morals and decent, right thing to do, plus death is part of everyone's life and helps people appreciate what they got. The boy will be fine, maybe better for it
 

redking

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John, the takeaway is that your grandson saw someone ask for help and his granddad ran to assist folks in need.

Ed
Agreed! When I was young, by watching the way my Dad acted, I learned that it was ok to think "I don't like going to visit people in hospitals - so I'm not gonna go." and as a result, when my Grandma was on her last hours in the hospital when I was a few years older, I took the easy way out and said the same thing and missed out on seeing her for the last time. I have always regretted that. Today Mr. Vasco's grandson got a great lesson on how to be a man and how to be the type of person we should all want to be.
 

John Vasco

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Thanks to everyone for their kind remarks - very much appreciated.

I can handle it, but my heart goes out to her 93 year-old father seeing his daughter die before his eyes... Shit!!!
 

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