FTW=Freddie the Whale

Tim Fezziwig

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The year was 1987. I was working in a weld shop.

THE CREW.

1. Georgie Boy- our "leader" -5 ft 5 140 lbs- not allowed to watch R rated movies at home- wife/mommy said PG is the "limit."
2. John Pill- had a bad back-took ENDLESS pills-often fell asleep while welding
3. Joyce -red faced girl- LOTS to prove
4. Henry St Croix- looked like Charles Manson's half-wit son-DUMB AS A BRICK
5. The Black Pope- 33 year old miscreant-recently divorced-HATED THE UNIVERSE

I did not "fit in". I read books. I lived for ART.

BIG Steve was our BIG BOSSMAN. Steve was an atypical POWER HUNGRY DOLT. I have encountered this same CLOWN many times . They grew up with a wrench in their baby basket. They LOVED tools and "flexing."

This was my future. Eating smoke. Drinking beer. Being "driven" by morons.

The Black Pope took me "under his wing." He was THE HEEL of shop. He Yuck Yucked to Howard Stern all day under his welding helmet. Henry was his "punch line."

Henry "proved" he had a brain the size of walnut EVERY day. We would be lined up at the time-clock.

Henry-" I had the Camaro up to 145 MPH this morning. I made it to work in 12 minutes.'

Henry lived 15 miles away. I was in his car just once. He drove 88mph in a 35mph zone.

I believed he was silly enough to push the Camaro to extinction.

The Camaro died when he forget to put a new oil filter on after changing the old one. He pulled into the lot one day,car was "wheezing", that happens when you drive 145 MPH with no oil.

One day Henry invited The Black Pope and I over to his house for FREE BEER, he had just installed a beer meister. Why did he invite us? He HATED The Black Pope and found me "confusing." I guess he was lonely?

We arrived. We were already DRUNK. The Black Pope pushed the buttons on his home alarm>>>>>

SSSSSKKRRRRREEEEEEEEEE SKREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE



Henry "disabled" the alarm and led us to the basement, if he had more brain matter he would've killed us.

We saw Henry's beer "machine." He had to crawl under the bar each time he drew a beer. Black Pope and I kept his knees dirty. Every time he sat on a stool with a fresh beer-----Henry, need another brew.'

Later that night he led us into his bedroom. There in the center of the room was a REAL machine gun on a stand . His poor wife.

Henry started charging for beer after The Black Pope and I visited.

I kept "passing out" on the ride home-The Black Pope kept "elbowing" me-WAKE UP! The Black Pope would've blown a 3 if we got pulled over

/////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

We had the annual Xmas party. I got REALLY drunk . I sat at the bar next to BIG STEVE.

"BIG BOSSMAN!"
"Tim, you do not know how lucky you are. I was going to fire you at the start of the new year,but, I was offered a new job earlier this week. I'm leaving. THANK GOD I'm no longer your boss!"
I pinched his FAT cheeks and burped in his face.

The night ended with The Black Pope and I carrying John Pill to a taxi- NEVER MIX LUDES AND BOOZE

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Our new BIG BOSSMAN was MIKE HERO. MIKE HERO was cut from the same cloth as BIG STEVE. All these guys got "wet" looking at tool catalogs.

MIKE HERO did not like me .

"Tim, BIG STEVE, told me that you are a REAL nut case. I will "break you."
"MIKE HERO, I can't wait.

One day he took me back into the warehouse.

"Tim, see all these corroded chemical cans?"
"Yes, I do ."
"Load them onto the pallet and drag them out to the docks and pour them into the sewers."
"For real? Is that legal?"
"Today it is."

I sat there prying lids off "vicious" chemicals. The colours I witnessed- ULTRA GREEN SNOT, ORANGE DEATH, YELLOW CANCER....

I felt really ill after several hours. I was given no mask. I said prayers to SATAN,

"DEVIL, please hear my plea,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,,MIKE HERO needs a nice case of malaria.......make his balls turn to flies.....

MIKE HERO ended up suspending me for three days several weeks later. I refused to work MANDATORY OT- MIKE HERO though he was "punishing" me- I went on a three day LSD "bender". When I returned my attitude had improved!

////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////////

Time for FTW!

The Black Pope had a stencil FTW. He would spraypaint FTW all over the welding curtains. One day Henry asked,

"What does FTW stand for?"

I took the ball and ran and ran.....................

"Henry, it is a tragic tale/tail. One day when The Black Pope was 6 his parents took him to Cape Cod. Young Black Pope came upon a beached baby whale. The small whale was bubbling and booooiiiiiinnngg. A crowd gathered and Young Black Pope watched as the baby whale shuddered its last breaths. Young Black Pope named the dead baby whale- FREDDIE THE WHALE-----thus FTW. The Black Pope sprays FTW as a homage to his long lost baby whale."

Henry stood there shaking his head,

"That is a sad story."


Those were the days?
 
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redcoats1976

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and all this time i thought it was frieda the whale...widest woman in the warehouse...forklifts went around her,no shelving could hold her.
 

Tim Fezziwig

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Tim, you could make a fortune as an author.
Uncle, thanks for the praise, but, I'm not allowed to make $ from my ART. I'm a TRUE artiste who asks the GODS for material, I have a "contract" so to speak. I get ENDLESS inspiration as long as I stay "true." Which means I do EXACTLY what I want to , when I want to.


I believe my "ART" springs from the GODS. I never want to anger them by "puffing up", thus, I do "social work"+give EVERYTHING I create away for free. See, if you are REALLY filled with "spirit" you need nothing else-$$$ would "corrupt me"- I'm as happy as a manic depressive can be. I have a nice little home with a fireplace+HOT WIFE+magic cat+16 ELECTRIC guitars+7 amps+60 pedals+++++++++

With $$$ comes people-----"Tim, jump, Tim create...............hey Tim want some "strange"......

No, success would spoil me. I'll keep on writing as long as I'm "allowed" to-one day PAN may "instruct" me to burn the computer and go into POETIC seclusion.........I

Success spoiled Rock Hunter- Imagine what it would do to me?
1627867646998.png
 

six-string

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You're so precious Fezz. LOL.

no really...yeah i worked with those kind of mental midgets at all sorts of jobs for years.
i swear on a windy day you could hear the whistling through their ears.
tough guys. yeah i've seen lots of tough guys.
most of them fail when the going gets tough. isn't that ironic?

i admit there were mornings when i said, "F the job!" . i think i learned that from reading Bukowski?
but then you gotta get up and get another job somewhere.
same clowns, different circus.
 

Tim Fezziwig

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You're so precious Fezz. LOL.

no really...yeah i worked with those kind of mental midgets at all sorts of jobs for years.
i swear on a windy day you could hear the whistling through their ears.
tough guys. yeah i've seen lots of tough guys.
most of them fail when the going gets tough. isn't that ironic?

i admit there were mornings when i said, "F the job!" . i think i learned that from reading Bukowski?
but then you gotta get up and get another job somewhere.
same clowns, different circus.
six-string-different "beasts" - I got "turned out"-by my last sweatshop =a print shop I was CRAZED. I was in PUNK ROCK mode- FEZZ#1 was "birthed" - Tuff guys were VERY nervous around me- I was not all talk- I would bleed at will-cut my forhead-RIVERS OF BLOOD=pro'rassling stuff-REALLY unnerved them- I would invite ENTIRE press crew to the go go bar- 11 vs me- NO CHANCE. I didn't "hit on" the gals- those clowns slobbered- gave away endless 1 dollar bills----- not me- I would use their "excited" states against them-GET RIGHT INTO THEIR THICK SKULLS---------reading their thoughts----so simple they were---then slapping each man HARD on the back-see you tomorrow LOVER.....Yeah, I was crazy...........almost scared myself----then I was sent home- to the asylum!-been hear 28 years-ZERO LUGHEADS- endless "tree huggers".
 


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