Frustrations with my band (what else is new?)

Tim Fezziwig

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Funny you posted a pic of Pan. Let me tell you a little story.

Did you know that the gods Pan and Apollo had a little bit of a musical competition?
These gods were the first rock stars. The audience was comprised of mortals....fans of both of them. It was deemed that whoever got the loudest applause wins and would be declared the best musician.
Pan went first and played his syrinx (pan flute). Mellow tones filled the air as he began to play until he hit a frenzied climax. Everyone applauded.
Then it was Apollo's turn. He plucked the strings of his lyre....ahhhh...these were tones that were the direct yet ancient lineage of Segovia, Page and Hendrix, Blackmore, Van Halen and Lil' Wayne....Ok....strike Lil' Wayne! The tone was all in his fingers....just like Knopfler.
When he was finished there was an uproarious applause. Apollo is the best! Apollo is the winner!
Except there was one lone voice...."ahem...excuse me, but I though Pan was better."
Apollo's eyebrows knitted together "What!? Who said that?!!!"
"My name is Midas if you please sir"
This was King Midas...the guy who's touch turned everything to gold. But after he was finally able to get rid of that curse (and it was a hell of a curse) he became a kind of hippy, following Pan around the woodlands and smoking pot and drinking wine...
So Midas says "I think Pan's tones were earthier and more interesting and with a little more mystique in the way he used the Phrygian and Mixolydian modes.
Your lyre performance was a little more.....bland....with all due respect sir"
"BLAND?!" sneered Apollo "if that's what you think then you must have the ears of an ass"
Now, when a god says something like that, he wasn't commenting on Midas' taste or judgement of music. When a god says "you MUST have the ears of an ass" it was a command!
Suddenly, Midas felt something hairy and twitching rise from the sides of his head, and everyone started laughing. Midas had ass's ears!
He tore off his shirt and wrapped it around his head like a kind of turban, then run away in humiliation.
When he got back to his palace he was determined to never let his ass's ears be seen by anyone, so he never removed that turban.
Except.....he had to get his hair cut once a month. So he went to the royal barber and told him "I will now remove this turban for my monthly haircut. You must never reveal to anyone what you are about to see. If you do, I will know it was you and I will kill your whole family before your very eyes and then I'll kill you. But if you keep the secret I will reward you, you will be the richest barber that ever lived."
Well, the barber managed to hold back the laughter the first time he saw Midas's ears. But he kept the promise, and once a month he cut his hair.
But as time wore on the secret was bursting to escape him....like a cow's utter that was never milked....he had to tell someone!
One night when he could no longer stand it he ran out to the edge of the city down by the river. He dug a deep hole and bent down into the hole and shouted into it "MIDAS HAS ASS'S EARS!!!" And then quickly filled the hole back up and patted the dirt down with his hands.
What a load off his soul! He went back home and was able to sleep.
But what the barber hadn't noticed, was a little seed that fell into the hole just as he shouted into it and then backfilled it.
Over time that seed germinated and finally grew into grass. And when the wind gently blew, it whispered "Midas has ass's ears".
And the wind blew this whispered message across the fields where all the other grasses and plants and even the leaves on the trees picked it up and all whispered "Midas has ass's ears, Midas has ass's ears" until it reached the edge of the city.
Then one morning Midas woke to the sound of children laughing. When he went to the window he heard the children shriek "have you heard? Midas has ass's ears!"
With a heavy heart Midas poured himself a cup of poison (he didn't even think to punish the barber....what was the point?") He drank the poison down and died.

This story is an excerpt (in my own words) from Stephen Fry's "Mythos". The show that I'm doing right now. Stephen is a genius story teller...he has the audience in the palms of his hands.

And yeah I recorded the pan flute and the lyre and it plays back during the telling of the musical competition.
f, love this. I have many tomes on myths. These are my current reads.
51HsAqRijgL._SX337_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg

51AwU%2BrVEHL._SX328_BO1,204,203,200_.jpg
 

SWeAT hOg

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n, I do. Old FEZZ #1 was a scary band=uncompromising-now I'm a 52 year old whore+++I'm a health nut! No good, thus, I surround myself with miscreants-NOBODY else wants. They will follow me anywhere because I never tell them what to do. I'm still the sickest member of the band. FEZZband must remain unpredictable. Pan does not like frauds.
stone-statue-of-greek-god-pan-set-in-yew-taxus-hedge-winter-121744137-58ea2ca33df78c5162f82e6c.jpg
Tim, I so much hope to meet you, one day.
 

Tobin1634

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Ok UPDATE: I have thought out this a lot and talked to the bass player (who I have now known for a little over 10 years and I trust his judgement) and we are going to move on. Once I talked to him I was forced to be brutally honest about the drummer's skills and they are not there. We have been playing with him for 5 months and he still is not able to play parts in songs correctly. I am personally frustrated that its taking this long. As an example, he said that he would need to listen to "Nothing but a good time" by Poison a million times in order to get it right. Really? It's a pretty basic song! we have played it a lot at rehearsal and he still screws up the drum part coming out of the guitar solo when the drums come back in after the solo riff.

Keep in mind when we brought him on we had about 30 songs learned, some we had to throw out because the drummer either didn't like them or couldn't play them correctly and we added some that he wanted to play (fair is fair I guess). But its been a struggle with him. When I really thought it about pretty much all the songs that don't sound good are because of him, the other parts are all solid. I think we have been giving him the benefit of the doubt because he is a good guy and has a great rehearsal space in his basement and we were paying for a space before with our dearly departed drummer (who was awesome by the way and we had been playing with him for a few months and were almost ready to gig and that was when all of us were learning the songs together week by week, not waiting for a drummer to catch up to what we already know).

I feel bad, but as I said in the OP, the thrill for us is playing out, not in a basement and if that's the goal I don't see it happening with this dude.
 

Freddy G

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I was forced to be brutally honest about the drummer's skills and they are not there. We have been playing with him for 5 months and he still is not able to play parts in songs correctly.

That right there could have been the beginning and of this thread. I'm glad you came around to see reality.
 

Howard2k

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Ok UPDATE: I have thought out this a lot and talked to the bass player (who I have now known for a little over 10 years and I trust his judgement) and we are going to move on. Once I talked to him I was forced to be brutally honest about the drummer's skills and they are not there. We have been playing with him for 5 months and he still is not able to play parts in songs correctly. I am personally frustrated that its taking this long. As an example, he said that he would need to listen to "Nothing but a good time" by Poison a million times in order to get it right. Really? It's a pretty basic song! we have played it a lot at rehearsal and he still screws up the drum part coming out of the guitar solo when the drums come back in after the solo riff.

Keep in mind when we brought him on we had about 30 songs learned, some we had to throw out because the drummer either didn't like them or couldn't play them correctly and we added some that he wanted to play (fair is fair I guess). But its been a struggle with him. When I really thought it about pretty much all the songs that don't sound good are because of him, the other parts are all solid. I think we have been giving him the benefit of the doubt because he is a good guy and has a great rehearsal space in his basement and we were paying for a space before with our dearly departed drummer (who was awesome by the way and we had been playing with him for a few months and were almost ready to gig and that was when all of us were learning the songs together week by week, not waiting for a drummer to catch up to what we already know).

I feel bad, but as I said in the OP, the thrill for us is playing out, not in a basement and if that's the goal I don't see it happening with this dude.



Good call. Sounds like you were fair, you didn't make a rash decision, you gave him time, and you were flexible on the set list.

You'll still have that ramp up curve with a new drummer but hopefully it's much shorter.
 

freebyrd 69

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Ok UPDATE: I have thought out this a lot and talked to the bass player (who I have now known for a little over 10 years and I trust his judgement) and we are going to move on. Once I talked to him I was forced to be brutally honest about the drummer's skills and they are not there. We have been playing with him for 5 months and he still is not able to play parts in songs correctly. I am personally frustrated that its taking this long. As an example, he said that he would need to listen to "Nothing but a good time" by Poison a million times in order to get it right. Really? It's a pretty basic song! we have played it a lot at rehearsal and he still screws up the drum part coming out of the guitar solo when the drums come back in after the solo riff.

Keep in mind when we brought him on we had about 30 songs learned, some we had to throw out because the drummer either didn't like them or couldn't play them correctly and we added some that he wanted to play (fair is fair I guess). But its been a struggle with him. When I really thought it about pretty much all the songs that don't sound good are because of him, the other parts are all solid. I think we have been giving him the benefit of the doubt because he is a good guy and has a great rehearsal space in his basement and we were paying for a space before with our dearly departed drummer (who was awesome by the way and we had been playing with him for a few months and were almost ready to gig and that was when all of us were learning the songs together week by week, not waiting for a drummer to catch up to what we already know).

I feel bad, but as I said in the OP, the thrill for us is playing out, not in a basement and if that's the goal I don't see it happening with this dude.

Great thread OP, and thanks for the update. It's always fun trying to do this stuff...(sarcasm intended). It is VERY hard to find people on the same page, good attitudes, and the ability to match. You could have an outstanding player, but if he/she wants to gig EVERY weekend, and everyone else is cool with once a month, it's not a good fit. Vice versa too.

You are at a tough stage. Most people that are really good, seasoned musicians, want to join up with an established group that is currently gigging. It can take awhile to find the right fit, but don't be in a hurry just for the sake of gigging. Your time will be better spent rehearsing with the other band members as you are now and getting super tight, and keeping the feelers out for a drummer in the mean time.

How can I put this......you will spend less time looking for the right guy than you will by finding "a" guy, and trying to force things. It shouldn't take any musician that has the skills to gig (instrument they play aside) 5 months to learn 30-40 songs to be gig ready. Especially when those songs are already learned and tight by the other band members. So what I'm saying is, cool your jets on the gigs. Finding a guy in a week or two that takes 5 moths to learn songs vs. finding a guy in 2 months that's ready in a month and knows his shit.

Sometimes having to move on from people you really like as people really sucks.....bad, but, hopefully they understand. If you play in bands long enough, you WILL end up in that predicament on one end or the other, and it's never easy.
 

rxbandit

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I was forced to be brutally honest about the drummer's skills and they are not there. We have been playing with him for 5 months and he still is not able to play parts in songs correctly.

That right there could have been the beginning and of this thread. I'm glad you came around to see reality.
Lol, seriously. A whole lotta chatter when this is most important
 

Tobin1634

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LOL! c'mon man! I think it was starting this thread that got me to really get down to it
 

Chango Malo

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root cause analysis is serious business. persistence and honesty are crucial to figuring out what's really going on.
 

Neffco

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Just buy him an 8 ball of booger. He will get over it. He was probably going to knock up his girlfriend anyway. We rotated 4 drummers for a long time depending on the specific gig (rock or county or draw, as in one of our drummers always brought quite a following). He got super loud and wasted too. One drummer has more drums than Neil peart. One was 60 something and liked blow a lot. Another just had personality issues( the best one of all). There was another as well and he was just a bit green.
 

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