Frustrations with my band (what else is new?)

Tobin1634

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I'm just frustrated and need to share, but of course any advice is welcome.
I started a cover band about a year ago, we were building up our set lists and things were going well, then our drummer got sick and passed away. It was horrible.
We found a new drummer this past January and he has more of a learning curve but is a good guy and is a solid drummer and is in the same mind set as we are (which by the way is doing this for fun, we all have families and good day jobs but want to get out gigging at some point). We now have enough songs to play gigs and had been working on getting them all tight. Then my drummer goes and gets himself into a mountain biking accident and hurts his shoulder!. This was three weeks ago or so now. We are playing tonight but I'm worried that he needed to tighten some stuff up in the first place but now he is set back even further.
A year in I would like to get out and start playing some gigs, but this is yet another set back. I don't think we should replace him because we have been this far, but I'm just frustrated that this is taking so damn long! A year in and we are nowhere near ready to play any gigs!
I'm basically on board to see this through with him and he will recover and be fine, but this is a long road.
 

Jymbopalyse

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Sounds like you have the two pit bulls of indecision pulling at your rope of life. ( I don't know where that came from . Third cup of coffee kicking in I guess)

On one hand - You really want to gig. Like . . right now.

On the other hand - You want to do the right thing (as per YOUR conscious) by the drummer.

Do you replace the drummer, even if temporarily ?


How do the other band members feel? How many other members are there??

I guess the other question in my head right now is; Is this a group of friends getting together to play in a band or is this a Band getting together to play gigs.
 

Tobin1634

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This is actually a band, I found the lead guitar player and drummer on bandmix and the bass player and I were in a band 10 years ago. The idea is we get out and play because that is the thrill for us, not playing in a basement.
 

Howard2k

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You’re playing tonight? A show or practice?

Not that it really matters, you’ll have a better idea where you stand by the end of the day in either case.
 

SWeAT hOg

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I dunno. I've been with Mario the drummer for over ten years now, and we have stuck through some tough times. First, he had to deal with colon cancer and a myriad number of other health issues. He got the surgery (they took out a grapefruit sized tumour), went through all kinds of hell with a hernia and more. That took us out for nearly six months.

Then, just as we were getting tight in rehearsals and were booking gigs, I developed Guillain-Barre Syndrome, a rare neurological disorder that crippled my whole body, my hands and feet the worst. I didn't really play guitar for over a year, but somehow, Mario and I stayed friends and bandmates. I told him to find another band, and he told me if I was done, then he was as well. Then he said, 'So. Get better'.

I did. And we still RAWK. This Spring, one of the new SweatHogs had to take a break to deal with some very serious family issues. He didn't want to quit, so we gave him the time to deal and heal. He's now back and we feel tighter as a band than ever before.

I look at this band situation like a family or marriage. Not as serious, I know, but I figure you gotta take the good with the bad.
 

Kamen_Kaiju

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my last band had rotating drummers. So one was always available for gigs, so we'd gig every weekend with one or the other.

We had rotating singers too.

....was an interesting project.

(I miss those folk and hope they're doing well these days. )
 

KSG_Standard

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It's hard enough keeping a band of youngish people together, it's hell sometimes trying to do it with oldish dudes with families and health issues. As suggested above, I'd try to get a temp drummer if possible. Good luck.
 

mdubya

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Get a temp replacement. Make sure the drummer and the temps knows it's a temp thing.

Next?

This is what I would do. Might give your guy the message you are moving forward with or without him. Might be just the kick in the pants he needs.

I don't know how technical your band is, but most decent drummers can fill in and keep up with little or no practice. I wasn't even a drummer, but I could keep a beat and played at enough jams that people were sometimes surprised that I played guitar. :shock:
 
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OP: Do what you've gotta do. Really ask yourself, what is the outlook from your perspective 3 ..6 months ..a year down the road with this. You need to forward project rather than look at the present and past. If the outlook is not good then you should look for other options. :)
 

splatter

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This is actually a band, I found the lead guitar player and drummer on bandmix and the bass player and I were in a band 10 years ago. The idea is we get out and play because that is the thrill for us, not playing in a basement.

If you found 2 members on band mix then I’m sorry to tell you they you have used up all your good luck and probably some one else’s also .

I feel ur pain . Me and the rhythm guitar player have been trying to put together a cover band for 3 plus years .
We can’t find quality players / singers that are willing to put in the work
 

Tobin1634

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I don't know one part of me wants to try another drummer but another part knows that its hard to find people who aren't assholes and have similar goals and oh yeah, can actually play decently, so then I think I just wait this out
 

SWeAT hOg

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I don't know one part of me wants to try another drummer but another part knows that its hard to find people who aren't assholes and have similar goals and oh yeah, can actually play decently, so then I think I just wait this out
When our mate asked for a break this Spring, we briefly discussed replacing him when it became apparent he wanted two months. Once we realized how dickish we would look we scrapped the idea. We also realized that two months would not be enough time to find a replacement (especially as good a player as buddy is) and be ready to gig. So, instead we covered a couple of gigs as a trio (we called ourselves Three Hog Night). Buddy came back, and our first rehearsal was so great, it was like we never took a break.
 

Uncle Remus

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If you found 2 members on band mix then I’m sorry to tell you they you have used up all your good luck and probably some one else’s also .

I feel ur pain . Me and the rhythm guitar player have been trying to put together a cover band for 3 plus years .
We can’t find quality players / singers that are willing to put in the work
Where are you? As much as I like to pride myself as a guitar player, I am a better singer. I gots dem pipes. I come complete with closed eyes about to bust a nut face. Huge ego. I am going to need a 50% cut. I also will screw any wives or girlfriends of other members of the band. PM me if interested.
 

mdubya

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Well, if he still isn't tight enough and you are NOT a Rush tribute band...

Maybe you should encourage him to do more mountain biking.

I had a drummer buddy who was super into the music and even sang (not bad) but the whole band lurched and sped up and slowed down as he waxed and waned his way through the set.
 

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