From another thread due to be nuked soon... Gig fouls and fees

[Chango Malo]

Nah,

Ken Griffey Jr was definitely not a dick .

Far from it actually.

see "looks like..."


Still, $45.00 fine per game. The van needs a new tire before we get stranded and channel 6 on the PA took a shit...

 

[edro]

Bring a civilian to rehearsal, I am prone to just go back home.

Band I am in as slider munky, I don’t usually go to rehearsals. I am a distraction. Anyone is a distraction.

Hard to resist ‘just trying to help’ type stuff. They are more than capable of hearing chordal anomalies and fixing. Now once the tune is list status, you can bet I’ll say something to correct something. My job is to hear everything. Rehearsal should be private....too much work to do....

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

• 'warming up' on stage $30.00
• tuning so the fucking audience can hear you $30.00
• tuning so the rest of the band can hear you $25.00
• cringy stage banter ('lemme hear you out there' to a crowd of 15) $25.00
• telling jokes on stage $35.00

I break these rules EVERY gig-I usually tune before ------check it mid gig---I do this FULL volume- because I want to----
Banter= All you slobs drink +drug-------HAIL PAN

So, $175 in the hole + $200-$300 for drinks for alkies- I don't even drink!

A FEZZgig would put me $475 in the hole. No worries, I do this for the EXPRESSION not the money. I do not miss gigs. My hands have FINALLY healed ......................How much is the fine for bleeding?

 

[Chango Malo]

• 'warming up' on stage $30.00
• tuning so the fucking audience can hear you $30.00
• tuning so the rest of the band can hear you $25.00
• cringy stage banter ('lemme hear you out there' to a crowd of 15) $25.00
• telling jokes on stage $35.00

I break these rules EVERY gig-I usually tune before ------check it mid gig---I do this FULL volume- because I want to----
Banter= All you slobs drink +drug-------HAIL PAN

So, $175 in the hole + $200-$300 for drinks for alkies- I don't even drink!

A FEZZgig would put me $475 in the hole. No worries, I do this for the EXPRESSION not the money. I do not miss gigs. My hands have FINALLY healed ......................How much is the fine for bleeding?

Since Olde Fezziwig is actually performance art, no fine for bleeding.
Also no fine for cringey stage banter or tuning unless you leave a clip-on tuner on the headstock. At that point all tuning fines are applicable. Double fee for warming up on stage though. No giving away the show before the show.

 

[Bobby Mahogany]

(...) but it made me think about something. Mostly redheads with large... Sorry, wrong forum.

You wrote this and I got that!

My guess?
The Internet.

 

[edro]

Yep, Fezz is the exception. It’s Fezzism. There can be only one.

 

[TheX]

Looks like that *soon to be nuked* thread is doing just fine. People being adults makes for a great thread.

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

Since Olde Fezziwig is actually performance art, no fine for bleeding.
Also no fine for cringey stage banter or tuning unless you leave a clip-on tuner on the headstock. At that point all tuning fines are applicable. Double fee for warming up on stage though. No giving away the show before the show.

c, I HATE clip on tuners- I use a KOSS- "warm up "is usually some Stones riffs.......I do miss gigs---REAL INDOOR DIVE BAR GIGS!- I'm getting offered "Virus" gigs-NO THANKS- I need to pummel with Volume-outdoors? Lose ALL the power. I was talking to my bassist, Tommy Flop,

'Tommy? I guess a gig in 2021?2022?"

ALL of my band members are 'compromised." I seem to destroy their health? I'm in perfect health<except mental issues--------oh well, the people lose out------luckily, I get a FREE FEZZ show 24+7.

 

[Uncle Vinnie]

@Bobby Mahogany

Bobby, you've never seen that pic of a jock strapped DB with Mick Ronson? That's like from the early 70s.

 

[Uncle Vinnie]

Need fines for people who say, over the mike, things like, "This next song..." And who use the phrase "pause for the cause..." and "Awright, how's everbody DOIN' tonight?"

And dedications! No F'ing DEDICATIONS!!

"I'd like to dedicate this next song to my kid who was inadvertently conceived after a night of heavy drinking and reckless abandon."

$200 fine and 30 days in the county jail.

 

[dspelman]

You wrote this and I got that!

View attachment 494755

My guess?
The Internet.

Redheads with large...discounts?


And awesome overalls. Dang.

 

[dspelman]

And dedications! No F'ing DEDICATIONS!!

"I'd like to dedicate this next song to my kid who was inadvertently conceived after a night of heavy drinking and reckless abandon."

$200 fine and 30 days in the county jail.

And "Test test test...Is this thing on?"

Death by sandwich meat slicing machine.

 

[dspelman]

"I'd like to dedicate this next song to my kid who was inadvertently conceived after a night of heavy drinking and reckless abandon."

Most of my inadvertant conceptions were dropped off at a Catholic Church donation box with a note to contact me upon return from tour. I got to know Sister Mary Easter Candle (she was usually half lit) pretty well.

 

[SteveC]

Nah,

Ken Griffey Jr was definitely not a dick .

Far from it actually.

Agreed, he is a stand up guy... who looks like a dick with his fucking hat on backwards. Just like anyone, who has their fucking hat on backwards.

 

[Maximus Decimus Meridius]

Dumb shit people do on stage. Yeah, that's what it was.
There are just some things that shouldn't be done on stage. Period. End of story. Full stop. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200.00.

• wearing shorts on stage $20.00
• wearing cargo shorts on stage $40.00
• wearing a baseball cap on stage $25.00
• wearing a baseball cap backwards on stage $45.00
• wearing white socks on stage $20.00
• white sneakers on stage, especially New Balance $20.00
• wearing dirty sneakers on stage, any brand $20.00

Total = $190.00

 

[Chango Malo]

Yup. Thanks for making my point.

 

[Tim Fezziwig]

I like messing with "flow."Downpicked dirt-..then......muttering-----DRINK UP DOLTS......then-----stop-start---make sure nobody gets REAL release. R+R should be about frustration.

 

[edro]

Tap on one of my mics...go ahead and tap on it....

 

[edro]

Do the drop-da-mic with one of mine... yeah, try that once....

 

[edro]

A singer that announces every stinking song and especially rattles on with drivel when ‘letting the bassist/drummer/guitarist/keyboardist sing one in spite of (whatever)’ needs to be nad-kicked repeatedly...

If you’re not singing, get out of the spotlight, don’t dance around like your ass has fire ants, and no tambourine unless the jangles and head are removed....