- Nov 16, 2012
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Great memory Steve... and nothing can take that away.
sorry for your loss, sincerely, was it heroin for sure, Id guess it was fentanyl or carfentanyl. China keeps sending it in more and more pureIf you have kids, and those kids have friends, whatever those friends are doing, so are your kids. One of the worst mistakes.... In retrospect the worst I guess.... Was believing that my son could hang out with low lifes and not be one. At 9:00 this morning there was a knock on my door. It was a sheriffs deputy to tell my wife and I that our youngest son was dead from an apparent heroin overdose. He was in jail and somehow got heroin smuggled in. He was 28 years old. I am not posting this for sympathy. You don't know me or him and to most of you I am comic relief. He was a junkie... He was a thief and he chose his path. He was not raised to be that way, but I guess every parent of a junkie says that. We did everything that we knew to do to help him but he always went back. So if you have kids talk to them. Pay attention to their friends. Be the best parent you can. And even then you have no guarantees.
So sorry bud...... it is impossible to describe to anyone isn't it. Fine one second and a wreck the next. Even after 2 years. It is getting better..... I can make it to the coffee pot most days ( long story) but its rough and I feel for you.Feb 13th for us, Steve. I feel your pain.
So sorry to read this has happened to your son and how it has impacted everyone. The one thing I learned when we lost our little baby girl was that the people you think will be there for you no matter what sometimes aren't and in our case it was because they couldn't handle the reality of the situation. And thankfully, people come into your life from "nowhere" to be part of an amazing support system for you and help you get through it. And in our case, a couple of people from this forum came through and helped us with our grieving in a big way. I hope the latter is happening in your case as well.Thank you. The hardest thing right now is my family. My wife's family is fantastic. My sister and mom... Sister mainly, has been all over facebook and I have no issue with that but it has been poor me poor me poor my kids. My wife specifically asked em to not do anything without at least informing us... They contacted the news and did an interview. We found out, when we saw it. It wrecked my wife. My oldest son has stepped and taken charge. I have let him and his mother do what they want because it does not matter to me. Jake wanted to be cremated so thats what ws are doing. My mom is having a fit as if its her decision to make. I have never seen this behavior out of either of them. I am trying to maintain the attitude that everyone grieves in their own way. This is their process.
I am sorry for your loss..... I met a woman almost 30 years ago.... saw her after jake died she told me she lost an 8 year old son to drowning well before I met her. She said 30+ years later things will still break her down.So sorry to read this has happened to your son and how it has impacted everyone. The one thing I learned when we lost our little baby girl was that the people you think will be there for you no matter what sometimes aren't and in our case it was because they couldn't handle the reality of the situation. And thankfully, people come into your life from "nowhere" to be part of an amazing support system for you and help you get through it. And in our case, a couple of people from this forum came through and helped us with our grieving in a big way. I hope the latter is happening in your case as well.
edit: Just realized this is 2 years since it happened and I agree with you - even 2 or 5 years later it can still hit you out of nowhere, but for us it did eventually become easier.
We met a few people like that in grief counselling and we decided that we weren't going to let ourselves get "stuck" in grief and that it was ok for us to move forward after we grieved. I'm not sure how much choice you really have in the matter, but I'm grateful to not feel like we are "stuck." I'm sure you and your wife and other family members have all experienced it differently in 2 years and hope you all feel like you are moving forward in general.I am sorry for your loss..... I met a woman almost 30 years ago.... saw her after jake died she told me she lost an 8 year old son to drowning well before I met her. She said 30+ years later things will still break her down.
Sorry, Steve. My wife had a horrible day yesterday. She asked me when the hurt subsides. I guess it never does. You just cope the best you can and cry when you can't.
The worry is almost as bad as the loss.......almost. I feel for you and your wife. Watching someone disappear right in front of your eyes is almost as bad as them being gone. Anyone who has never had to deal with it really has no concept of how it just engulfs your entire being and every aspect of your life. The route for care flight goes right over our house. Before Jake died every time it went over I basically held my breath waiting for the call. So I feel for you and your wife, the idea of having to go through that AND Jake being gone would probably just do me in. As for when the pain subsides. Its been over 2 years for me and it still hits out of nowhere. After a show sometimes I think how worked up he would be if he saw me on stage. I would probably laugh at him and tell him to slow down so I could understand him........ A friend of mine lost his son a few years ago and he told me that at first as soon as his eyes opened, his son was on his mind. Then he was able to get one foot on the floor....... He told me that one day he realized he was at the coffee pot before he thought about his son. I have made it to the coffee pot. She will too. Not every day but some. Eventually most. Give her my best.Sorry, Steve. My wife had a horrible day yesterday. She asked me when the hurt subsides. I guess it never does. You just cope the best you can and cry when you can't.
We just had the grave stone put in for my stepson (my wife's real son) and seeing his name down in the dirt has burned an image in my mind, I can't cope with. I cried. It was just sad.
There is no right or wrong. There is no end in sight.
It's a hurt that nothing can ease. Time doesn't even help.
You just press on and hopefully see them again after we're all done here. I feel it. I live it and I totally understand your pain.
We are waiting for other shoe to drop here too. My stepdaughter is not far behind her brother. We tried EVERYTHING (I know you know what I mean when I say we TRIED everything and tried everybody to get help) and nothing can stop it. Waiting for the phone call any day.
I'm with ya, brother.
Great news about your business Steve.Kind of a rough day today. I think a lack of sleep has me kinda worn down... new puppy plus working a LOT. Just really down and thinking about Jake. On an up beat note, my business is going great right now.