Fake guitars and fake players

Cookie-boy

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I've been taking some stick off you guys but hey! I can take it. When you have spent the best part of thirty years in institutions as opposed to your bedroom with the smell of moms apple pie coming up the stairs you find you can put up with all sorts.

Anyways, my presence on this Forum signals my return to something I loved and lost thirty years ago. Guitars. Gibson Guitars in particular and Heavens to Murgatroid!!! What do I find when I peer back over the fence into Guitar World? Jesus H. Christ!! What happened!! Did those crazy Russians drop the bomb or what? Fender Firewoods made in Mexico! Poor old Fred Gretsch packed off to the Land of the Rising Sun! Guild of all people, dear old Guild from Hoboken and Rhode Island gone to dogfordinnerland! Don't these names mean anything to you people any more? Where's your sense of history ferchrisakes!!?? Jumping Jehosafats!! What's happeened to manufacturing and craftsmanship in this country? Have you all been sleeping? Next you'll be telling me Gibson are building factories in China and we got a black President!!
Sometimes I feel like walking out of this hospital and straight under a bus!

And then I discover something that really turns my stomach! Some jerk named Murphy is taking new Gibsons and making them look like old Gibsons! What the f...! Quick!! Call the Fuzz! What'ya mean they're not interested? You mean it's legal? Wait while I throw up! Do you think I spent the best part of the 60's and 70's dragging my sorry arse through the stage door of every crumby club from Copenhagen to Des Moines for no money and ripping the shit out of my beloved instruments just so you lot can sit on your spotty arses, squeezed into velour leisure suits, watching 24 hour of soaps, stuffing KFC and take-away pizza down your throats and GET THE SAME GUITARS AS MINE MAIL-ORDER!!! Do you!? Fergawdsakes!!! I nailed every $5 dollar whore and groupie from Chappaquiddick to Chesterfield for you boys and it was sloppy seconds all round and great big hairy minges like bill-posters buckets. You think I did that for this?? So you could have some "Virtual Rock Star Lifestye"?? Is that what it is? While you were getting College boy haircuts and driving around in your dads Studebaker feeling up cheerleaders I was hanging around STD clinics with piss-weak coffee for company and only the umbrella treatment to look forward to!! PLease, please tell me this ain't really happening! I tell you this is worse than thirteen year olds going up to Bel Air for cosmetic surgery!! AGEING GUITARS!! Holey Moley!!

And the final insult is at 5pm on a Friday evening when you leave your cozy little office at some minor accountancy firm where you've been gang-banging your desk all week and slip behind the wheel of your Honda or Toyota (yeah, you're that patriotic) to get up on the stage of some crumby social club in your moth eaten spandex with whats left of your hair ruffled up and you're shaking your "AGED" Les Paul around and throwing a few shapes and you EXPECT US TO BELIEVE YOU'VE BEEN ROUND THE BLOCK???!!!

HOW VERY DARE YOU!!

I would suggest that all these fakes should remain within the domestic dwelling and should not under any circumstances be used for live performances. That is the perogative of real guitars.
 

murmel

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I love those aged guitars. I used to be so paranoid about scratching or denting my stuff.
Now I am actualy saving a lot of money buying new and home aging my guitars:::)
 

diceman

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:laugh2:

There are some great looking aged guitars out there. I'm beating the shit out of my R8 the old fashioned way, and my Deluxe has 40 years of mojo stuffed in to it by other people, but if I were to get a recent Gold Top, I'd consider having RS give it the full treatment - GT's are soooo boring to me, unless they're road worn!

I see both sides of this one. I don't mind aging at all - and at times I bloody love it - although I've never done it.

BB - where's your RS R9? :)
 

CARNAGE222

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Cookie-boy rules!!

One thing I'm not clear on, so forgive me if I'm prying. Are you still in an institution or have you been released?

BTW, I play a fake Korean made air guitar when I fake play to my favorite 8 track tapes.

:):):):):)
 

John Vasco

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why do I bother reading threads from this guy?

Because sometimes, they are quite hilarious...
"...I nailed every $5 dollar whore and groupie from Chappaquiddick to Chesterfield for you boys and it was sloppy seconds all round and great big hairy minges like bill-posters buckets..." The only thing he didn't say was that he was in up to his shoulders... Wonderful!
 

Cookie-boy

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Because sometimes, they are quite hilarious...
"...I nailed every $5 dollar whore and groupie from Chappaquiddick to Chesterfield for you boys and it was sloppy seconds all round and great big hairy minges like bill-posters buckets..." The only thing he didn't say was that he was in up to his shoulders... Wonderful!
You said it baby! They nailed a plank of wood to my boots or I'd be a gonna!!:shock:
 

jomo

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Bravo bravo Cookie boy!!!!! We need more Cookie boys here guys, are you friggin kidding me??!! It's shit like this that makes it interesting. We have an institutionalized old school musician on here to share his eternal wisdom with us. Heck, I'm pulling up a chair, he can tell me I'm an arm chair quarter back and don't deserve my guitars. That's Okay, I prolly don't. :thumb:
Call the fuzz?? Hell yeah, that's priceless!!
 

The_Sentry

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Hahahaha. I love this thread.

Heritage guitars FTW...

[ame=http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jKCx-RbnaYs]YouTube - Kalamazoo Heritage Guitar - Mlive[/ame]
 


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