Do you, and how blatant, lie to your wife about the guitars?

[Doctor Dread]

Hi you all on this great forum! I'm a newbie who's currently pestering you about Pearly Gates. But reading posts here, something else caught my attention:

I was a dedicated Fender player for 25 years, well accustomed to forums for Strat and Tele, and only upon recent purchase of my Gibson Les Paul Studio I realized that now I belong here. Opposed to all the teenage angst in the Fender camp, as far as I can tell, many among you are family people, raising kids and working hard for that one more, just one more guitar. I'm 47, two kids in high school, a wife, two jobs to make ends meet, and a bad case of G.A.S. Nine guitars. The number isn't that high compared to some of you, but the urge is overwhelming.

Now the plot thickens.

My wife is kind, understanding and all, but long time ago I run out of arguments for purchasing "just this one more". I just don't have it in me to justify something that even I know is just my whim. Don't get me wrong. The food is on the table, bills are paid, we go holidays and stuff, but I'm loosing in fights of the "we need a new car – no, I need another guitar" kind. So I lie.

I lie through my teeth.

"Look, honey, that one's not mine. It's Tom's, and you know their situation. His wife will kill him if she knew, so he's stashing it here."

"It's mine, but it was with Dick for long before we got married. He has no room for it anymore, so he's giving it back to me."

"Harry owed me a guitar since 1982, because my first Tele got stolen from his car. I forgot all about it years ago, but he is kind and caring person and finally paid it back with this beauty."

"This guy was an idiot, he had no idea what he was selling. It was an absolute bargain, I had that petty cash in my pocket for lunch..."

Recently I indeed found a killer deal. Some guy was selling a Japan made Squier Precision Bass, a five-digit JV from 1983, when Fender just opened Japan branch and in those first years, regardless of being a Fender or Squier brand, the Japs produced absolutely top-notch axes. But the guy didn't know that. For him it was just a cheap Squier. I gave him 100 Euros and my used and abandoned Korg AX10A processor worth less than 50 Euros. This bass is considered a kind of Holly Grail, better than MIA of the day, and after my treatment kick ass out of every current new MIA , MIM or MIJ Fender Precision in my local guitar store. So I called my wife at work and said "Tom was here a minute ago, again drooling over that stupid processor of mine, so I gave it to him. You know they are not doing well, and I wanted to cheer up my good old buddy." "OK, how nice of you", said she. Than I called Tom to pick up the bass and take it to his office (not home, our wives are friends), and couple of days later Tom came over in a prearranged time, and as a gratitude for Korg, presented me with his old bass he no longer needs...
And so on, and so on...

Now, with this 1994 Gibson Les Paul Studio openly purchased, I have to lay low for a while. I'm switching to modding (hence the Pearly Gates urge). That will go unnoticed.

What do you do? Let's swap tips & tricks on how to fool a spouse.

 

[dwagar]

lol

I may stretch the truth, "oh it was only $X", but man, I'm not in your league at all.

My best, I suppose, was selling one guitar, and buying my R9. I forgot to mention the freight charges, etc. I think it landed for $300-400 more than I got for the other one.

But then, when I shipped it to Historic Makeovers, well, I forgot to mention that. With freight and stuff it was something like $2K I think. Sneak it through the credit card as a couple different charges. But, how do you hide the fact that your best guitar is out of the house for like 6 weeks? Luckily, Dave had it finished and back to me like 2 days before I needed it for a gig. THAT would've been hard to hide. "But dear, I really needed a different fretboard"? Yeah, that'd fly.

 

[Liam]

I had a similar problem with a '62 JV Squier Strat (1982 model) last year. I can see why you had to have that bass.

I am 100% open with my wife about guitars and amps, and she is really cool about it. In the 10 years we've been married I've probably kept roughly the same size collection, and it is slowly turning into a nice little "nest egg" of interesting gear. The only time she complained was when I had a lot of big amps and a few 4 x 12 speaker cabs, as they took up a lot of house space and didn't get used much. I sold them and bought some more guitars (they're smaller!)

My justifications have been that for about 4 years my playing paid the mortgage, and I haven't lost money on the sale of a single instrument or item of equipment, so she knows I'm not just throwing money around.

Early JV Squiers (I've got 2 strats) are pretty much blue chip IMO, that's how I'd justify it!

 

[GeeJay]

Nope. I don't lie to my wife about anything. This approach has worked for the last 30-yrs so I don't think I'm gonna change now...

 

[coldsteal2]

Do you, and how blatant, lie to your wife about the guitars?

Not anymore, i kicked them to the curb (or visa versa depending
on which one you ask hahah) But seriuosly my X wouldhnt let
me buy sh*t without aproval from the Queen. Thats why my
music was on hold for 7 years. As soon as we split, i had
a pile of new gear and guitars in less than 6 months

 

[Harpozep]

Well, .The collection has remained more or less stable, but things have come and gone. A Carvin AE turned into a similar colored G&L, a black Les Paul became a sunburstburst, you know, "it got a paint job"

Hard to not lose money on gear, but for those who do not lose money selling stuff, I salute you
Of course some stuff maintains value, and it is better to by used in some cases which keeps the resale at about what you bought it for, which is not a bad thing. I would not have picked up my R9 at retail but it came into the shop used and the other guy took a huge hit. He did not want to scratch it and would not play it. The guitar is a VOS so it comes pre aged a little. I don't worry about it, I play it, I'm going to mod it. It is a tool, and a mighty fine one too!

Welcome to the forum Doctor Dread from Serbia

 

[Eddie]

Didn't lie, but once I hid a Les Paul Standard from my wife for a year. Then I left it in plain sight and she asked which one that was and I told her it was one I bought a year ago. no more questions were asked. So I didn't lie!

 

[Harpozep]

Didn't lie, but once I hid a Les Paul Standard from my wife for a year. Then I left it in plain sight and she asked which one that was and I told her it was one I bought a year ago. no more questions were asked. So I didn't lie!

Noe dat's some grinnin' material . Time for a toast to that one

 

[LoKi]

None of my guitars cost more than $300. Or so I've been telling my significant others for years.

 

[WildeStarr]

My wife is the singer in my band. Next.

 

[BCRGreg]

My wife BUYS me guitars.

 

[plecoman]

my GF whom I live with needs to hear lies... But she is smartening up... SHe knows the term "Burst", and just 2 hours ago she said she'd scratch my burst if I didn't go food shopping... Live is not easy...

I have said alot of things like... I traded 10 effects for it, or it came back from repair, don't you remember? I somehow feel she knows but cant be bothered to fight back HAHA!

 

[drewbertca]

My wife "bought me" my BFG well she punched her PIN number in for the first payment......It was her wedding gift to me....I don't think I got her anything....She refused to let me...then I got an amp on out honeymoon.....I have a great wife...she knows about G.A.S. but I sometimes have to justify a purchase....like it sounds so much different than my other (insert gear type here)....

 

[LongBeach]

That topic was the begining of the end of my last relationship
This was my 5th guitar, 2nd purchased with her in the picture.
New LP shows up, first question: "how much did that cost?"
My reply: dont see why that matters due too the fact you didnt help pay for it? - & out the door she went.

picked it up off e-bay, so, it wasn't really new, but, new to my collection.
I'm a rather "blunt" person, typically dont lie, gotta set a good example for the kids!

 

[Mr. Fuzzy]

my GF whom I live with needs to hear lies... But she is smartening up... SHe knows the term "Burst", and just 2 hours ago she said she'd scratch my burst if I didn't go food shopping... Live is not easy...

I have said alot of things like... I traded 10 effects for it, or it came back from repair, don't you remember? I somehow feel she knows but cant be bothered to fight back HAHA!

You need to tell her if you scratch my burst I'll burn a pile of your shoes.

A friend of mine had 3 of his guitars beaten horribily when his mentally unstable ex-girlfriend got pissed at him for something stupid. She totally destroyed his acoustic and His strat looked like it was used break rocks on a chain gang. His bass which was his first instument, with sentimental value, was never the same again.

Do not take threats of instrument abuse lightly.
Hell if it was me, and my GF threatned the safety of my guitars, I would have shown her the door seconds after the threat passed her lips.


Now back on topic.
Luckily, I married a good woman, who likes guitars a bit.
I don't have to lie about new gear. Though I have brought a few home while she was not home, and did not feel the need to bust it out and go "look what I got".
But, when she notices I tell her straight up what the deal was.
I have so many guitars, she looses track. Plus there are always a few guitars always floating around from repair clients, it can be confusing as to which are mine and which are not.

I always come clean when asked about a guitar.

 

[LoKi]

My current GF bought me a Les Paul, and she hooked me up with a sweet deal on an amp, laughed at me when I threw down $1000 on a wireless monitor system, told me that I was doing the right thing when I blew $400 on my R0de S1.

She gets annoyed that I spend more time with my gear than with her, but she's pretty cool.

 

[lp59aholicDon]

Havent had that problem for over seven years though we fought over a few that I got, Miss Honey , for one , The ES 345 I found and bought at a guitar show , If she had ever tried to mess with my guitars, I would have taken a fireaxe to her Mercedes, AND Burned all her shoes and taken her Rolex , her real one ! She messed with alot of my stuff, but even though I never threatened or promised , she somehow knew the line was at my guitars and amps and crossing that would have been only worse for her
I will no longer deal with a chick who has control or jealousy issues over my gear or my dogs . IF a gal has control issues its a big BYE BYE !

 

[plecoman]

You need to tell her if you scratch my burst I'll burn a pile of your shoes.

Thats real funny!!! She likes the guitars, and the Burst... She doesn't complain aboutme spending too much money. Its all about space. Even worse with amps, Apprently all my gear is taking up the house.

Oh i forgot to mention she has a handbag rack.... size of two full stacks. Women are evil.

 

[rick31797]

BUy guitars that are similar to colors you already have.. Women go by color not design.. you know the story, what kind of car did your friend buy.. oh i dont know but its black...

I usually have a guitar or two on stands, and one time i bought the same color guitar but it was a single cutaway not double.. had a tremolo.( alot of difference's to a guitar player..
I put the new guitar on the stand and the old one in the case..
It took the wife over 2 months to notice there is something different.
it was sitting right there by the TV.

She says.. that looks different.. whats different about that guitar.. I said , i just put new strings on it, and polished it up..
OH Thanks god , i thought u bought another one for a sec..

This really works>>>> LOL

Rick

 

[Doctor Dread]

Go marry her right away!

I forgot to mention one important factor: I'm a professional in media. I don't earn by playing. In fact, I even don't play all that well, but I love music. Some of you are pros, and it's quite legit to pile up - not for me.

Harpdozer got it right:

Well, .The collection has remained more or less stable, but things have come and gone. A Carvin AE turned into a similar colored G&L, a black Les Paul became a sunburstburst, you know, "it got a paint job"

Way to go, man!

Of course, she knows I'm into something, but she doesn't care as long as things are right at home. But I want to avoid stuff like "you had to buy another one, and now we can't go on that winter city-break".

And it's fun