Dad Attacks StepDaughters Bully

[El Pablo]

My witness testimony to the judge: "your honor, the bully was falling backwards, and the girl's dad was trying to help him back up."

 

[Matt_21]

If I was the dad in the situation and knew going in it'd be just $1000 fine.
Game on.
Otherwise, as much as I'm glad the bully got something in return, it's not the right way to handle it (in today's world)

 

[Bluesky]

I do not condone a grown man beating a strange kids ass but I guess I understand.

But all he accomplished was he made a bully into a victim.

 

[Olds442]

the father clearly knows he was wrong, but the kid got the better of him.

violence is wrong, there are effective ways to punish kids without violence. the problem is the parents don't have the balls to follow through with it.

my gal and i go back and forth all the time about parenting. it's one thing we'll never see eye to eye on. we parent completely differently and i'm not publicly saying she's "wrong".

but i will give you one guess who the dog listens to, and i've never laid an aggressive hand to her. (neither has my gal for that matter.)

 

[SpawnedX]

I submit that any male bullying a girl is not a male at all.

 

[I Break Things]

Good on him. People need to whip their kids more often. Hell, I deserved way more whippings than I got. I wish the PC crowd would stop claiming that discipline is abuse. There are a lot of kids who are legitimately abused, and they aren't getting the help they need because the PC crowd wants to crucify anyone who so much as shushes their children.

 

[Brians Evil Twin]

Most bullies are subjected to violence at home, that's where they learn their craft.

If you beat them up for acting out what they've experienced at the hands of their own parents, you are just reinforcing that behavior and perpetuating the cycle.

These kids grow up to be addicts, rapists, serial killers and mass shooters - assuming they don't commit suicide first.

Not condoning the kids behavior, but there are better and more humane ways to deal with bullies.

 

[LtDave32]

While I understand the father's reaction, all he did was demonstrate to the bully that violence is an acceptable method for dealing with conflict.

"all he did"? Really?

I think that one of the several things he did is pretty much set in stone that the bully won't bother his daughter again.

He also reinforced that there are consequences for fuckery.

But then, that's your way of seeing things, and that's my way of seeing things.

Maybe a stern "no no no" or a wagging finger might have sufficed? Or telling his parents, while he does it to his daughter and others, again and again and again?

 

[Jymbopalyse]

If I was the dad in the situation and knew going in it'd be just $1000 fine.
Game on.
Otherwise, as much as I'm glad the bully got something in return, it's not the right way to handle it (in today's world)

One of the reasons I started this thread is because of my split/hypocritical view on this.

On the surface, this is really wrong.

But . . . . I also support the father and could very easily see myself in that position.


He didn't go into the situation intending to do bodily harm (I believe).
He started a dialogue and simply got the "talk to the hand" & "you can't do nutthin ta me" attitude and smirking back at him. Then, just like The Champ, he lost it. I feel for the guy.

In the end.
I call this Justice.

 

[James R]

I do not condone a grown man beating a strange kids ass but I guess I understand.

But all he accomplished was he made a bully into a victim.

Calling the kid a victim in this case is an insult to people who have actually been victimized, but that’s just my view.

 

[LtDave32]

I do not condone a grown man beating a strange kids ass but I guess I understand.

But all he accomplished was he made a bully into a victim.

Good. Maybe the bully needs a few days of perspective to see things from the other side, rather than the side of a predator.

 

[Jymbopalyse]

, but there are better and more humane ways to deal with bullies.

More humane ways ??

Please enlighten us .

 

[Brians Evil Twin]

"all he did"? Really?

I think that one of the several things he did is pretty much set in stone that the bully won't bother his daughter again.

Temporarily. He could just as easily do something far worse, start in on another kid, or start in on some other destructive behavior.

He also reinforced that there are consequences for fuckery.

And that more violence is the acceptable consequence.

But then, that's your way of seeing things, and that's my way of seeing things.

Maybe a stern "no no no" or a wagging finger might have sufficed? Or telling his parents, while he does it to his daughter and others, again and again and again?

Not what I would do at all. I would have filed a police report and had a LEO pay him and his parents a visit.

If his parents want to kick the shit out of him that's their prerogative I suppose, but it won't make anything better, it will just perpetrate the cycle. They need to stop their own violent behavior at home, get the family into counseling and nip it in the bud.

I lived this as a kid, so I speak from experience. I never forgave my father for the way he treated me and my mother, but he's dead now. And the tragic part is, he learned it from his father and so on.

At some point, you have to commit to break the cycle of violence and stick to it or it will live on ad infinitum.

 

[Matt_21]

One of the reasons I started this thread is because of my split/hypocritical view on this.

On the surface, this is really wrong.

But . . . . I also support the father and could very easily see myself in that position.


He didn't go into the situation intending to do bodily harm (I believe).
He started a dialogue and simply got the "talk to the hand" & "you can't do nutthin ta me" attitude and smirking back at him. Then, just like The Champ, he lost it. I feel for the guy.

In the end.
I call this Justice.

Yup. I'm right with ya on this one Jymbo.

 

[LtDave32]

Not what I would do at all. I would have filed a police report and had a LEO pay him and his parents a visit.

Right. Then he would have smirked at law enforcement instead.

Who would have done nothing.

Hey, it's okay to disagree, as long as this is kept civil.

You've got your methods, I've mine. And the world keeps on turning.

 

[Scooter2112]

While I understand the father's reaction, all he did was demonstrate to the bully that violence is an acceptable method for dealing with conflict.

I rather see it as demonstrating to the kid that you never really know who it is that you’re fucking with, and that being a minor doesn’t always shield you from the consequence of your actions. Now, if junior sees the light, he may think twice next time he gets the urge. This guy may have saved his life down the road. In the past, the boys father would have done the same.

 

[Jymbopalyse]

Temporarily. He could just as easily do something far worse, start in on another kid, or start in on some other destructive behavior.


And that more violence is the acceptable consequence.


Not what I would do at all. I would have filed a police report and had a LEO pay him and his parents a visit.

If his parents want to kick the shit out of him that's their prerogative I suppose, but it won't make anything better, it will just perpetrate the cycle. They need to stop their own violent behavior at home, get the family into counseling and nip it in the bud.

I lived this as a kid, so I speak from experience. I never forgave my father for the way he treated me and my mother, but he's dead now. And the tragic part is, he learned it from his father and so on.

At some point, you have to commit to break the cycle of violence and stick to it or it will live on ad infinitum.

Agreed. The bully could absolutely do something far worse.
And again should be met with physical resistance. He just didn't learn his lesson the first time.

And as far as violence being an acceptable consequence. Yes it is. The bully has clearly shown that civilized discourse is not an available option.

As far as filing a police report, you might as well sent his parents a letter too, for all the good it will do you.

You go into a brief tirade about violence and abuse at home. Yah. Maybe is sucks to be him. Perhaps this will be a learning experience for him. Sounds like he will need a few more before he actually learns one though.

You mention - At some point, you have to commit to break the cycle of violence.
I agree whole heartedly. Unfortunately, this situation does not realistically seem appropriate for that.

I don't disagree with the spirit in which you present the argument - I just don't think this is a realistic approach in this situation.

 

[Brians Evil Twin]

Agreed. The bully could absolutely do something far worse.
And again should be met with physical resistance. He just didn't learn his lesson the first time.

And as far as violence being an acceptable consequence. Yes it is. The bully has clearly shown that civilized discourse is not an available option.

As far as filing a police report, you might as well sent his parents a letter too, for all the good it will do you.

You go into a brief tirade about violence and abuse at home. Yah. Maybe is sucks to be him. Perhaps this will be a learning experience for him. Sounds like he will need a few more before he actually learns one though.

You mention - At some point, you have to commit to break the cycle of violence.
I agree whole heartedly. Unfortunately, this situation does not realistically seem appropriate for that.

I don't disagree with the spirit in which you present the argument - I just don't think this is a realistic approach in this situation.

Assuming that you believe threats work, why not just get up in his face an whisper that you'll cut his nuts off next time he so much as looks at your daughter.

You don't have to touch him, and nobody heard nuthin'. Would have saved himself $1,000.

Instead what happened is the guy lost his shit and set himself up for a massive civil lawsuit complete with video evidence.

And depending on what the kid's father is like, he could be a dead man.

 

[cybermgk]

Temporarily. He could just as easily do something far worse, start in on another kid, or start in on some other destructive behavior.


And that more violence is the acceptable consequence.


Not what I would do at all. I would have filed a police report and had a LEO pay him and his parents a visit.

If his parents want to kick the shit out of him that's their prerogative I suppose, but it won't make anything better, it will just perpetrate the cycle. They need to stop their own violent behavior at home, get the family into counseling and nip it in the bud.

I lived this as a kid, so I speak from experience. I never forgave my father for the way he treated me and my mother, but he's dead now. And the tragic part is, he learned it from his father and so on.

At some point, you have to commit to break the cycle of violence and stick to it or it will live on ad infinitum.

(shocked) I actually agree with you here. I'd have filed with the school as well.

NOW, if nothing came out of that, then, well........

 

[Jymbopalyse]

Assuming that you believe threats work, why not just get up in his face an whisper that you'll cut his nuts off next time he so much as looks at your daughter.

You don't have to touch him, and nobody heard nuthin'. Would have saved himself $1,000.

Instead what happened is the guy lost his shit and set himself up for a massive civil lawsuit complete with video evidence.

And depending on what the kid's father is like, he could be a dead man.

From the sound of things, the father did open a dialogue. The kid, just laughed at him, with the attitude, you can't do nuthin to me. That's when the dad Hyde'ed out. So that argument falls flat.


TRUTH - Dad could be in for some legal hurt. No denying that.

I still support what he did.