- Nov 26, 2010
- Reaction score
It takes your appetite for more away.
My advice is worth what you paid for it, but here goes:
1. You can only control what it is that you do.
2. Do not allow yourself to be consumed by negative feelings, yes you are sad, mad, angry, hurt etc. and it is up to you, and only you, to regain your happiness.
3. Take the high road. You'll have plenty off opportunities to go off on her and him, don't. Ignore them to the extent possible. Don't ever let them know that they have any power to hurt or otherwise provoke you.
4. "Making things right" as it relates to similar situations only happens in the movies. Refer back to #1. You can't control what other people do and while they may deserve to suffer, that is not for you to decide nor is it for you to met out.
5. Move on, as quickly as you can. That doesn't mean it doesn't hurt or even that you want to move on. However, it is what you need to do. Your life isn't over, you're just moving into a new chapter.
6. If you both can act rationally, mediation might work. It is probably worth a try. If you are both constantly trying to get back at the other, don't waste your time with mediation.
7. You have possession of the house. She abandoned it and you. Defend that position. Round up your irreplaceable items and safely pack them away. So that you can relocate them on a moments notice.
8. Get control of your finances. Check your online banking statements and know every last automated payment that you have. Eliminate what isn't necessary. Close joint bank accounts, or at least have your name removed from them ("retitled" to just her name). Close all joint credit cards, immediately (or you'll be paying all of them).
9. As was previously stated, open a new account in your name only and have any paychecks go there. If you get physical checks to deposit, keep a balance in the account that is slightly greater than the amount of the checks. When you get another check, endorse it and cash it at the counter (i.e. don't deposit it). Buy a small safe from harborfreight or home depot and bolt it to the floor somewhere hard to find. Put your cash in your safe.
Your wife and your friend...they both cheated on their spouses. A very good chance that they'll cheat on each other too.
The only up side of this very bad situation is that you are lucky to be shed of both of them. That kind of disloyalty is a way of life.